The Cat House

Thoughts on erectile dysfunction in Dinosaurs & other absurd notions

2012-01-15T20:54:00.003+13:00

I've had a lovely day today. Today we had Anna's second birthday party. Well to be more specific, its Anna's second 4th birthday party. You see, she had one on the actual day & this one so that her Rainbow Connection friends could come. I ended up doing more than I sort of envisaged. You see, someone had to go to the supermarket & blow up all the balloons I guess. I'm not really into hordes of screaming kids round my knees, but I must admit that it felt pretty good.

Its my last night here. I'm feeling sad because I am leaving two wonderful familys behind me & I have no way of knowing when I will see them again. Whispa & I have had a wonderful time. She has just absolutely blossomed under all the attention from the little ones & she loves them as well especially when they are gentle. She sits there & gravely accepts all the attention they can offer. Anna & I have had some lovely walks in the park together. I shall miss those. I suspect that Whispa will miss gravely trotting along behind a little girl as well, so I guess we will be a little bit sad together.

We had a lovely little silly session tonight as well. Both the kids are into dinosaurs, complete with sound effects. I was accorded the privilege of being awarded my own dinosaur. Sadly though, he had a wonky wing. Well, to be precise, when I was presented with him, he was missing a wing. I think he may have even been a mythological creature, not a dinosaur, but for the purposes of the game it didnt really matter. What did matter, however, was that being minus one wing made it terribly difficult for him to fly. In fact, it put us at a serious disadvantage. casting quickly around, I found the missing appendage on the floor. Success at last ! But no, it turns out that the wing was decidedly wonky, refusing to stay erect on its own. Not knowing any saurian equivalents to Viagra, we retreated from the field of battle, bloodied but unbowed.

I wont be staying at Waimate either on the way home. Regrettable because I was rather looking forward to catching up with Leonie & Bob, but still, every cloud has its silver lining, in that it means I can be that little bit further down the road when I stop. I'm planning on carrying on to Christchurch & staying at a pet friendly motel there. will make it that much less distance to cover for Picton & give me time for a catch up with Pete before I catch the ferry back across the straights.

It will be good to finally be on the same bit of dirt as Dori. It will be good to finally get home as well. I miss my little puddytats, I miss my own bed & i miss my home. Coupled with that, I have also had a good rest & recharge time & now feel ready to start a whole new life together. I dont know what sort of life it will be. Thats the exciting/scary part. I am facing a whole new existence with a new outlook & a new & exciting girlfriend. It's going to be a little scary for both of us I guess, but its going to be a hell of a ride...

Beating around bushes & other stuff..

2012-01-11T12:41:00.002+13:00

I have been doing a bit of this lately & in all fairness to those concerned I should really stop it. Those concerned, are myself, the new lady in my life, & anyone bored enough to actually read what I write here. Yes folks, you read it right. The old fellow has a new romantic interest in life. gather round, pull up a bean bag & a sardine sandwich & I'll tell you the tale.

Its not a very long one. Dori & I met on the internet. Yes folks thats right, an internet romance. It didnt take us very long to discover a mutual spark that went beyond just getting to know each other as friends. Talking via Skype has only brought out a much greater depth of feeling than either of us ever thought could be possible. We haven't actually physically met yet, but we already feel that we have known each other half a life time. We are both really looking forward to our first meeting when I return home in a few days time.

We both have an awful lot in common. I'm not going to bore you with details, but we both feel that we are kindred spirits enough to be happy together & I know we will. So be happy for us. We have both been through the mill a bit & lost partners/spouses. I thijnk we deserve our place in the sun now, so look forward to hearing about us. I'm sure the ride will be interesting.

A new years starts.

2012-01-08T20:11:00.002+13:00

Well, I saw the new year in, as you know, in Invercargill. It was good, apart from being pretty much as far as it is possible to be away from home, so the trip back to Dunedin was sort of like theb start of the long run home.

I'm staying with Sean & his family at the moment & enjoying it. Taking Anna for a walk every morning to the park & being really very silly. its a good release. Also it means that for the first time in her 4 year life, I have been able to share her birthday with her. That means a lot to me, & I thoroughly enjoyed it. The little dog is enjoying being here & is becoming very protective with the kids which is lovely to see. She even went in & gave them both a kiss goodnight the other night.

The whole trip has been a wonderful healing process for me. Although I did much of my grieving while Jude was still alive, the time away has given me breathing space & imbued me with a new firm sense of direction & a fresh sense of purpose. I know now where my life is heading & what I want to do now. So I'm staying here till Monday. Sunday will see Anna's big birthday party. Monday will see me & the little dog on the road home. I will be a lot more relaxed thiis time. My first stop will be at Waimate to stay a night with some old friends there. I will probably cross on the ferry sometime Tuesday night, then will stay in Upper Hutt the next night. Then on to Greytown for the final night of my holiday with Janet & her man. Then heigh ho for home.

Im ready to be home now. There are big things happening in my life, with promise of even bigger things to come. I'm ready for it now. My life is holding a lot of promise of things to come. That is of course if it all doesnt come to a shuddering halt in December like the Mayans reckon.... Happy New Year

New Year with Madz

2012-01-01T10:05:00.003+13:00

One of the nice things about travelling is that you get to meet new people & go places you haven't been before. Sounds a bit obvious I know, but I don't look at going someplace you have been half a zillion times before as travelling. I just look at it as going some place to do something. To me, travelling is going to new places & meeting new people. Therefore, by my definition, I am travelling. This leg of the trip is the first bit that I have truly done on my own & its been an uplifting & exhilarating experience. I had almost forgotten what it is like to be truly free on the road. Not that I didn't enjoy travelling with Jude. A lot of my really good memories of her involve the trips & travelling that we did together. But still, being on my own is a whole new experience. Well, nearly on my own. I still have a little travelling mate to consider. She travels very well. She has figured out a cosy little nest in behind the passengers seat where she can stretch out & be comfortable & not get thrown around at all & lays there with her head on the center console only coming out for a sniff when I slow down.

So, here I am at Madz' place in Invercargill. I have never been further south than Balclutha on SH1 before, so it was new ground. I stopped at Gore for lunch & me & the dog shared a lovely steak & onion toasted sammy & chips. Lovely just sitting on the pavement chatting to people as they walked by. So on to Invercargill.

Madz is lovely. Aside from an 18 year old daughter, she also has an 18 month old as well. Also there is a seemingly endless stream of her daughters friends in & out of the house which is great. They are all wonderfully polite young adults, some of them even calling me "sir" I havent been called that in a long time. One of them even elected to stay & have a few drinks with Madz & I rather than go partying. We had a most interesting talk about anarchy versus self determination that I think came out ahead on points in. At the very least, I hope he has gone away with something to think about. In a nice way of course.

So we saw the new year in with the aid of some rum & coke, & the net, so my new friend that I have could join us on line. This morning, I decided to take my dog for a nice long walk along the railway embankment. Thats when I found out that Invercargill weather is like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead. When it is good, it is very very good & when it is bad it is horrid. We had beautiful weather yesterday. Lovely & sunny. I thought that I would be able to go out & have a good vigorous walk to shake off the post alcohol blues, but no. No more than 5 minutes in, the wind came up & a cold southerly front with rain started moving in so we came home. A descision that the little dog was more than in agreance with. Madz is going to do a nice roast of pork for new years lunch today. I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow i will head back to Dunedin to spend time with my eldest son. I am looking forward to it. It marks the start of the long road home & the beginning of a whole new life for me.

Culture Vulture

2011-12-30T17:06:00.003+13:00

. Dunedin never fails to surprise me with its rich diversity & vibrancy. Today, after we had wrung the last few bargains from the post Xmas sales, Ian & Leasa decided that a touch of culture would do us all the world of good, so we headed for the Municipal Art gallery via the Scottish shop. We did this so that I could replace the somewhat tattered & bedraggled Scottish flag on Sherman's aerial, that I had purchased last time we were here. While I was in there I also bought a "Clan Clootie," which, to the uninitiated, is a very good quality linen tea towel with my clan crest on that I intend to get framed once I get home.

So, onwards to the Art Gallery. I must admit to being pleasantly surprised. Situated in the middle of the hubbub & activity of The Octagon, it provides a haven of peace & contemplative tranquillity & a surprisingly eclectic selection of work. I was most surprised & pleased to find a work there that I had hung in the Gisborne Museum & Art gallery during my tenure as handyman/carpenter. It was like meeting an old friend. It was a piece that had travelled with the Benson & Hedges Art Award road show. Apart from that, the works on display showed an amazing depth & array, from the odd Constable or two, through to local semi folk art to a very modern display featuring a "Black" them, which I really failed to grasp the essence of.

There was a wonderful collection of photographic prints by an artist called Fiona Pardington, & my favourite exhibition of all , a selection of Japanese woodcut prints with a Kabuki theme. The depth of detail in these is absolutely stunning. All this & free entry. Absolutely wonderful.

After that it was back to reality in the Meridian mall for lunch. Hustly bustly mayhem at best, followed by a visit to JB Hifi, which led to a round of self castigation over having left my brother in law's most generous gift card behind. I did come away however, with Dylans latest disc, which updaates my collection, & a DVD of Dylan's performances at the Newport folk festival in the 60's. Home for a snooze & then out for Domino Pizza's for tea. All in all, a lovely way to spend my last day with Ian & Leasa. Tomorrow, the little dog & I are heading for Invercargill to spend New Years Eve with Madz. Can't wait

Down South

2011-12-29T13:49:00.006+13:00

Well here I am as the saying goes, Down South. It was a good trip if a little longer than is totally comfortable for old bones & small dogs , but we made it. I have been staying with Ian, Leasa & Conaire these last 2 weeks & it has been wonderful. Conaire & Whispa have been getting to know each other & Conaire is learning that Whispa is not just another stuffed toy & Whispa is learning that little girls aren't really as scary as they first seem. All in all a satisfactory arrangement.

One of the nice things I find about being in a a new town is my daily walks. There is always something new to see, even if you have been in the area before, especially when you are walking with a dog & a 2 year old. In this case, a lovely old concrete building that used to be a family neighborhood 4 square store. It intrigued me that much that I have made 3 visits back there to try & get the light that I wanted. For better or worse, here are the results....

The las t photo was taken by a very kind lady & her daughter that just happened to be walking past... Gotta love Dunedin dont ya?????

Back on the road.

2011-12-22T19:37:00.004+13:00

My two sons God bless 'em, decided that it wasn't a good thing for me to spend Xmas on my own, a sentiment that I whole heartedly approve of. I didn't want to fly down, as that would present complications with my little dog, who I didnt want to leave behind. So I decided to drive down. Ian decided that he didn't want me driving down on my own, so he flew up & drove down with me. I'm glad he did. It meant that I was able to show him where I scattered his Poppies ashes on the top of Mt Messenger. It also allowed him to catch up with an old school friend in Hawera. I didn't sleep well that night. I didnt put the bung back in the air bed & me & the little dog ended up cast on our backs in the middle like a couple of old fly blown ewes.

Catching up with Rob & Heather in Wellington was great, made even better by the fact that Rob & Ian spent the evening chatting away as if they had known each other all their lives. A 2.30 AM crossing coupled with a lusty blustery Southerly made sure that we didn't get a lot of sleep in spite of having comfortable warm bunks in a cabin. So it was a couple of tired wee lads & a very much relieved little dog that disembarked at Picton & set off for Dunedin. it was a tough drive but we did it in a day, much to the relief of all involved including the dog.

So here we are in Dunedin having a wonderful time. So far, I have had what is rapidly becoming a tradition, namely a tattoo followed by a kebab. It's a beaut. I f you want to see it go to my facebook page. I went fishing yesterday with the father of one of Leasa's friends. It was really a cae of the blind leading the blind, as he had only had his boat out 2 or 3 times before & was actually relying on me to show him where the fish were. He did catch one small Blue Cod & was very happy, as it was the first one he had caught out of his new boat. We also got to see heaaps of seals swimming in the water out by the point & some beautiful scenery as well. Its been over a year since I have been out on the water & the Viking side of my psyche is well appeased. I have also been enjoying some really relaxing time with my family. It is so good not to have anything to worry about except what clothes to put on.Iian & Leasa & Conaire have been wonderful to me in so far as they have provided a stress free environment for me to relax, refresh & recharge.

As I have been sitting writing this, we have experienced the second of 2 earth tremors that Christchurch has experienced today. I was asleep for the first, but Ian felt it. Hey enough already. Haven't they had enough in a year without doing this to them so close to Xmas. My heart goes out to them.

So, I'm looking forward to Xmas. Spending time with my family offers the promise of regeneration, recharge & a fresh outlook on life. New Years Eve, I will drive down to Inver argill, (yes folks, very carefully) with my little dog & spend a night or two at Madz's place. Quite looking forward to getting po faced with her & playing cards for the evening to see in the New Year. Then its back to spend a week or two with my other son, Sean & his family, then the start of the long trek home. But even that will be a pleasure as life changing events are starting to unfold for me in a most joyous way. I have had enough sadness & sorrow in my life the last few years & things are happening that promise a whole new life.

So, Merry Xmas & a Happy New Year to you all. May you celebrate & enjoy it in what ever fashion you wish. May your fondest dream for the new Year be the worst thing that happens to you &, Most importantly, may the skin of your bum never cover the head of a banjo...

A brave new world

2011-12-13T22:39:00.002+13:00

So said Aldous Huxley & the Preacher in War of the Worlds. It's a little bit scary being back in the world without Jude to cower behind. All of a sudden, I basically have nobody to please bar myself. The invites are starting to come in & I catch myself starting to say, "No sorry I can't because....." then I realise I can. I can because at the moment I'm not bumping around in trucks till all hours, nor do I have an ailing wife to tend any more. It's a strange feeling, but I guess I will get used to it.

I'm now actually looking forward to returning home from Dunedin to start forging a life for myself. Exactly what that life will be or who it will be with I have no idea at this stage. Thats the exciting bit...

Goin' Down

2011-12-08T11:48:00.002+13:00

Tuesday was a down day. I was doing OK. Right up to the point where the undertaker dropped by with some more cards, Jude's ashes & the funeral bill. Would have been nice if they phoned first, but just dropping in set me back to a point I thought I had passed. Guess I'm not so smart as I thought I was. I can see I'm going to be doing a lot of gardening. It seems to be a refuge for me when things get tough.

Last night the couriers came & collected all the equipment that the system were so unstinting in providing to help make Jude's life a little bit more bearable. I now have my workshop & lounge back. The place seems empty now. Can anybody tell me what company to call to come & take away this horrible hollow feeling away that I have in my stomach. All these things are driving home the awful awful finality of death. I'm never gonna see my darling in this lifetime again. OK, she wasn't really up to much the last few months, but at least I could go put my head on her shoulder & have a good howl. She was always good for that. The garden got another hammering last night as well. Tigs has finally started putting in an appearance for things other than food. She came to me for a smoodge about 2.00 this morning which was good for both of us.

On the upside, I'm off down to Dunedin soon for Xmas with my sons & their families, I have the steadfast & unfailing love of my little dog & WINZ were incredibly helpful this morning. As the Beatles said, "Oblidee oblidah life goes on."

Thoughts on death, dying & grief

2011-12-05T21:09:00.003+13:00

I picked my first green bean from my vines today. I just ate it straight from the vine. I have a lot of stuff that is going to be ready while I'm away sadly. My tomatoes are fruiting nicely & my first crop of baby carrots are not far off ready. My globe artichokes have 3 fruit, ( I think you call them that ) coming along nicely. There is a lesson from nature there if you care to look for it.

You see, the last few weeks I have been bound up in the absolute misery that my darlings life had become. She was in a lot of pain up until she started taking morphine & on occasion even that didn't help. It really was a blessing when she died. She went peacefully, with her son & his wife holding her hand. The subsequent mourning period & funeral went in a blur, so it's only really today that I have been able to take stock.

Oh, I have done a little. My neighbor brought over a lovely red rose called Eternal Love. I planted it on the morning of the funeral in what is going to be my remembrance garden. It's a good place to talk to Jude while I do a bit of weeding etc. There were also 3 rather nice flowering bulbs in a pot that I separated & planted there as well in the rain yesterday along with some catnip & oregano. They all seem to be doing OK.

So, I guess the lesson is this. No matter what our personal tragedies may be, nature just keeps on going in its own lusty rambunctious way. It doesnt wait for us, it just keeps right on keeping on. There are those who think I should still be grieving, & learning to live with it. I have done with my grieving. I grieved for my darling watching her helpless, racked with pain & unable to indicate what was wrong. I grieved at the dreadful injustice I perceived of her having the damn disease in the first place. I grieved for a lot of things, some very personal.

So death brings resolution. It brings it in a very final way. I have seen violent death. I have cheated death for 10 years by helping save someone with CPR. I have seen my darling dead under traumatic circumstance revived by an incredibly dedicated medical staff. And I have seen my Darling die very peacefully at home in her bed. That was a wonderful thing to see, & I don't think that anybody who has seen a death like that can dispute that it is a lovely thing to see.

So what am I trying to say ? I suppose that it is this:- don't expect me to go round wearing sackcloth & ashes because I wont be. Do expect me to be picking up the threads of a life that has been on hold for the last 4 years or so. Seeing my darling at rest & pain free has lifted a great weight from my shoulders. Yes I cried. I grieved her passing bitterly, but that is right & fitting to do so. I will carry her in my heart forever, but I will continue my life proud in the knowledge that I have done the best I could for her. No ifs, no buts, just the best I could. Till we meet again my darling

My rambling pal is dead & gone

2011-11-27T12:48:00.003+13:00

she's left me here to ramble on
if when we die, we go somewhere
bet you a dime, she's rambling there.

At round 08.30 hrs yesterday morning, quietly peacefully, at home in bed surrounded by her family. Do not grieve her passing celebrate her life, her gentle spirit, her giving nature, her love of life, music, flowers, people, cooking & gardening & last but not least me.

She went into the field of battle knowing that it was going to be a long drawn out campaign that she had no hope whatsoever of winning, but she went into it without hesitation or complaint, fought a no quarter asked or given fight & has retired from the field of battle with her flag still flying, her spirit unbroken and her love undiminished.

Judith Ellen Leslie, I salute you as a bold & true warrior. I have loved you from the day I met you & love you still... Fly in peace my beloved You deserve it...

The Long & Winding Road

2011-11-26T07:44:00.003+13:00

Jude has nearly reached the end of her particular long & winding road. Those of you who know her will know what an amazing battle she has fought & what a long & winding road we both have walked. She is at home & at peace now just waiting for the door to open. You my regular local readers are most welcome to drop round & spend a little time talking to her. I know she loves you all. If you are inclined, please say a prayer for those of us that can't yet follow her down the next bit of her journey. I know she will be surrounded with flowers & love when she passes.. With love, James

Down by the river

2011-11-15T08:29:00.002+13:00

Years ago, when Jude & I hadn't been together all that long, & we were both doing shift work, me in the Fire Service & her in the Comms section at the International Airport, on the rare days we had off together, we used to take time out. We would stop at the local bottle shop, get a nice bottle of wine & head for Western Springs. As the name implies, there is a natural spring there that used to be the water supply for Auckland. These days, its a rather lovely reserve that backs on to the zoo with a proliferation of bird life, mainly water fowl.

We would stop at The Saigon Bakery across the road & get lunch, generally pork & egg turnovers & the most beautiful filled rolls made with the beautiful crisp French style bread that only the Vietnamese seem to be able to make. By the entrance, there was always a rack, with brown paper bags full to overflowing with stale (By their standards) bread. Lunch, wine & duckfood safely in hand we would wander off round through the meandering paths around the lake. Not for us the clamoring yammering ducks geese & swans that would trample over their little ones in an effort to gorge themselves & to hell with their babies.

We found this tranquil little clearing way round the back of the lake, where if you sat quietly on the grass & ate your lunch, you were rewarded with a family of very shy & cautious Pukekos that would tentatively poke their heads out of the reeds around the clearing. If you were patient, they would come right up to you & take the bread very carefully from your fingers, a rare privilege to experience. But would they bolt it down & clamour for more ? Not on your life. They would walk back to the reeds, very carefully remove the morsel from their beaks with one of their spiny red feet & gently feed their little ones with it, who had obviously been told very firmly by Mum to "Stay exactly where you have been left or else !" Only when they had sated the little ones hunger would they proceed to eat their own fill.

We swapped our trusty small wheeled wheelchair for a conventional one last week. Jude's general condition & the weather meant that we didn't get a chance to road test it until the week end, so we headed of for the reserve at the riverside well within leisurely strolling distance, with a bag of stale bread & the little dog plodding dutifully beside. The new chair is much easier to manage & we arrived there, to the delight of the ducks, in fine shape. There is a little picnic table there in the shade of a tree, so I parked her wheelchair so that I could sit beside her with my arm around her & feed the ducks. I happened to look across at her to see tears streaming down her face. My face was wet as well. I said to her, "Are you remembering our days at The Springs as well ?" She nodded. We both sat there & cried for days gone. Whispa broke the spell by making one of her rare sallies after the the ducks from her lair under the table. By that time all the bread was gone, so reluctantly, we set course for home.

Can I smell my Lilacs please ?

2011-11-04T22:16:00.003+13:00

Jude as I guess you know, before this accursed illness, was an avid & loving gardener. I'm doing my best to look after her beloved plants, but its an uphill battle. One of her most prized plants is a Lilac tree that in spite of my worst efforts so far, ( I haven't got to that garden yet & the base of it is smothered with Wandering Jew & that dreadful sticky creeper,) is an absolute picture of blossom. Colleen, our care giver, invades the garden every so often & makes up a vase full of flowers & puts it where Jude can see it from her chair in the lounge. The current bunch, which is in a beautiful light green glass vase that was one of my Mum's wedding presents, consists of some of her early roses with some of her precious Lilac.

Anyway, tonight we were sitting watching TV tonight & i saw her typing away on her Ipod. When she held it up, I read, "Can I smell my Lilacs please ?" I got up, went & got the vase for her & held it so that she could smell it. I must admit that the smell of Lilac in the evening is something to be treasured. She sat there inhaling the fragrance with tears streaming down her face. It struck me that it was so incredibly sad to have the ability to get up, walk outside & bury your face in fragrant blossom taken away from you. I held it there as long as she wanted then put it back on the coffee table. I must admit to a surreptitious wiping of my own eyes as well.

Our power company sent us a letter to inform us that they were going to be cutting our power for 5 hours on the 17th. of this month for maintainance, & if this presented a problem, to contact them. So I did, naively expecting them to front with a generator, but no. Their best suggestion was to go somewhere there was power. I nearly suggested somewhere THEY could go, but kept my cool. So I got to thinking. What would happen if we did have a major power outage like the one not so long ago that lasted 3 days ? So I am currently searching Trade Me for a 230 volt generator. There are quite a few there at the moment. Not surprisingly, a lot from Christchurch.

I went to the doctors today with a list. Most of which was for Jude. her current pain relief regime hasn't been doing its job lately, so I figured a review was in order. The acquisition of a rather ingenious pill crusher has opened up the range of medications substantially, so we have had major changes. Hopefully tonight will tell. She has gone straight off to sleep tonight without her usual 2 or 3 requests for suction, which is very hopeful. Maybe a good night's sleep is in the offing. God knows we both need it....

Thoughts on cross country wheelchair racing

2011-10-25T22:32:00.002+13:00

It should be made an Olympic sport... No, really, I'm serious. There is a surprisingly high level of fitness required just to push a bloody chair along a footpath. I should explain. It was so nice yesterday, I asked Jude if she would like to go for a walk. She would, so we did. All the way down to the reserve I usually walk to & back. I was feeling it muchly by the time we got back. You see, I have found out that footpaths have a very gentle slope towards the road & as chairs have castor front wheels, a certain amount of pressure is required to keep the chair on the straight & narrow. I felt like I had had a full body workout by the time I got home, but Jude enjoyed the outing even though she was too tired for her lunch time feed. Apparently, its OK for her to do that every once in a while, so it was a reasonable trade off I thought.

Today, her best friend Di phoned to see if she wanted to go for a walk. Di is always good value. She is an old Patchwork friend of Jude's, a very talented artist, a loyal friend to both of us & a sensible straight talking lady. As she is somewhat older , we loaded Jude into the powered chair. her self confidence has taken a bit of a battering, so she asked me if I would come along too. Just as well. I have noticed that her right arm is getting very weak, but I didn't realise how much. It's now next to impossible for her to operate the joystick with it. I checked & it was an easy thing to swap it to the left hand side, but even though she has a little more use of her left hand still, it wasn't easy for her. Well, you have surely tried to do things with your off hand & you must know how difficult it is. It ended up with her doing what Di laughingly called donuts on the foot path. It ended with me driving the chair home for her. Once again, she was that tired she skipped a meal.

I know there is a variety of joysticks available for her chair but we need to think very seriously as to if it is actually worthwhile to keep it here. For the little bit she goes out. I think a conventional chair may be easier to manageI need to talk to the occupational therapist to see if a chair with bigger wheels might be easier to manage. The other thing worthy of consideration is the possibility that the outings may not be worth the toll it takes on her in the form of exhaustion & missed meals.

Spring time is always a time of hope & growth. All the plants & seeds that I have planted have germinated despite my hamfisted agricultural efforts. We have the Webb Ellice Trophy safely within our grasp despite, what to me, was a somewhat lacklustre game despite the nail biting second half, The oil recovery from the MV Rena is going well & the weather is holding off, the weather is lovely at the moment & the washing is coming in from the line with that sweet fresh smell that only a sunny day & a gentle breeze can give & I'm making headway with the gardens. Surely a time for renewed hope & optimism. I'm certain that if I tell myself that enough I will end up believing it.

They shoot horses don't they ?

2011-10-14T22:07:00.002+13:00

I went to the Doctors today. You see, some years ago while in the throes of a mid life crisis, I bought a motor bike. Not a great ravening beast of a Harley, but a modest Honda 25o. I rode one for a while when I was younger, so I guess it was Glory Days. Anyway, the inevitable happened & I fell off. Not at any great speed, about 10 km/h in loose metal to be exact. When I went down, my left foot took the weight of the bike care of the chain sprocket landing on it. I broke a couple of bones in my foot. My first experience of plaster was not a happy one.

Anyway, it's sore again. Quite markedly so. Hence the visit to the Dr. He's from Colorado,. hence the allusion to horses. He reckons its probably injury related arthritis & has prescribed accordingly. This is on top of things like Judes illness & my Mum in a vegitative state due to advanced senile dementia. About 4 years ago, she had to have one of her little toes amputated due to cancer. I was told at the time there was a possibility that it may have spread. Apparently it has. The home phoned the other day to tell me that she has a lump in her groin. So much for her dying peacefully in her sleep. I have made a conscious decision not to go & see her any more, because it is so upsetting & I need my energy & emotional strength to care for Jude. That doesn't mean I don't love my Mum any more, I do, but the dried up little husk that I sit & watch sleep for half an hour really isn't my Mum any more. I don't know where my Mum is. I wish I did. I love her dearly still & find the thought of her dying of cancer is one that I find very distressing.

All this makes it just that little bit harder to get through every day, but I did get at least one bit of good news:- my blood pressure is a very healthy 120 over 80. The pills I take for that go a fair way towards that, but its good news none the less. I hope that I get some good news soon. I don't think I can deal with a lot more bad news.

Progress I guess

2011-10-09T08:22:00.002+13:00

It's strange when you think about the word progress. It can mean so many things. In our own particular case, it rests with having a health care system that open handedly dishes out equipment to make our lives easier. I did a mental inventory yesterday. Aside from providing Fortisip, which is literally Jude's life sustainer these days we have, A BIPAP machine, a suction machine, a hospital bed, a motorised wheelchair, an ordinary wheelchair, two commode chairs, one with wheels, one not, a powered patient lifter, a pressure free topper pad for the bed, a transfer seat for the bath (soon to go) & access to a supply of monthly consumables that Jude needs to make her life comfortable. We also have, funded by ourselves, a walk in wet area shower, which makes Jude's life a lot easier. We have a care giver that showers & dresses Jude twice a day & a cleaner that comes in twice a week to give the house a clean up, because as you well know, real men don't do vacuuming.

I'm extremely grateful for all this help. its a double edged sword though. By providing all this gear, it means that Jude stays home & frees up bed space in either a home or a hospital & the staff needed to care for her . That's OK though. There is no way Jude will ever be going in to a home.

Still, I can't help but think of other areas that progress would be nice in:- A miracle cure for MND. Hearing my darling say , "I love you" again. Taking her out for dinner. Sitting in the boat in the middle of the Gulf reeling snapper in. Watching her enjoy her garden again. I could go on, but whats the point. So many things we have both irredeemably lost, yet so much we have both found because of this cursed illness. We have found love & strength that I don't think either of us dreamed possible. I personally am learning a care & compassion that I never thought possible & I am learning a huge respect for the strength & determination that Jude has.

That , I guess, is certainly progress beyond price.

Message for Deirdre

2011-10-02T08:23:00.002+13:00

I found you on Facebook, but you haven't got an add friends button on your page. I would very much like to add you to my list of friends. If you are happy with this, I am James Leslie, Thames new zealand. looking forward to hearing from you. For some reason, your setup for comments wont let me post comments on your blog.. Take care , James

Tears & Fears

2011-10-01T22:36:00.003+13:00

It's Jude's birthday on Monday. She is basically getting a 3 day birthday out of it. Today, her 2 sons came down to see her, one being able to stay the night, one not. Chris & Mel, as they always do, made a huge fuss of her with flowers, some beautiful sarongs as a present & a lovely birthday cake, which sadly she can't eat. I couldn't sing "Happy Birthday" for her. The tears just welled up in my eyes, but the others did & she loved it. Later on, something happened which I'm not going to detail, that drove it into me how much she is deteriorating. I had to go outside & cry. The little dog of course came with me & sat on my knee for a while gently licking the tears from my eyes. It was one of those truly desolate moments. Mel , bless her, realised that something was amiss & came out & Joined me. We sat & quietly talked for a little while. I was so glad to have someone there to talk to that would just listen & not try to equate what I was feeling with something that had happened to her. Too often I end up doing my crying on my own. Whispa tries very hard to understand, but she is a dog after all.

Sharon is coming down tomorrow, hopefully bringing the kids with her. That will fulfil my wish of Jude getting to see all her kids & grandchildren. Monday, our dear friends Grant & Annette are calling in for an hour or so which will crown a lovely birthday for her.

I haven't brought her a present. What I have been doing though is tidying up her gardens for her. I have done what I think is a very creditable job on the front garden, weeding it, transplanting some Flag Irises & planting out a heap of other plans & seeds. It just about needs weeding again, but I am too scared to until the seeds I planted come to something identifiable. I've just about got the shade house useable again & intend to sort out her sadly neglected orchids there. I've made a start on the garden in the center of the back lawn & still have the rockery to do. Its amazing what you can accomplish in half an hour or so a day, but like the cheese ads say, "Good things take time."

A week of it

2011-09-19T22:27:00.002+12:00

We have had a busy week with visitors. It really came to a head Thursday afternoon. We ended up having a sort of summit conference here. We had already arranged for our doctor to be here, but then the Palliative Care team from Waikato Hospital Phoned & said they were coming about the time the doc was due, so I figured we may as well get our caregiver & the district nurse here as well, so that everybody is working off the same page. As well as all that, our Hospice Waikato field worker turned up for a visit as well.

It was a very productive session. We will be getting a set of crisis management sheets, so that if something goes wrong I will know what to do, instead of going by guess & by God & feeling like my ass is hanging in the breeze somewhat, I will now have a very definite set of guide lines to go by. So for that matter will anyone else that I entrust with Jude's care, such as Christopher. All sorts of new meds for pain management have been prescribed as well. Friday saw the arrival of the rep that markets the patient hoists. The one we had wasn't particularly satisfactory, with Jude tending to slip through it. We now have a different one that is much easier to manage. It is making my life a lot easier now that I don't have to bodily lift Jude around so much. It certainly makes getting her into bed a lot easier & we have sorted out her nightly commode visits so they are easier for both of us.

The weekend sorta slid by, as wet weekends do. Saturday night Lorna from next door came over for tea. It was great to cook for someone else & to be able to sit down & chat over a meal. I miss that dreadfully with Jude. We used to chat a lot at meal times. We also got Troy from next door number 2 to come over & give us a quote to redo the little bathroom as a wet area. It was a good quote, so we accepted it. I was intending at the least, to take up the old vinyl, but as usual, once I got started, I am ending up doing a lot more. It will save us money in the long run& I am happy puddling around doing it. It is a little frustrating having to work around Jude's sleep time, but I'm making good progress, so will plod on & should have quite a bit done ready for when Troy starts in earnest on Thursday.

Wel, thats about it. We get to meet our new MND Field Worker, Graeme, on Friday. The poor bugger has been lumbered with not only all his own clients in Tauranga, but all the Waikato ones as well, theoretically accomplishing all this in 20 hours a week. Optimism is a wonderfu; thing isn't it ?

Thoughts on lessons

2011-09-12T16:18:00.003+12:00

I talk to a lot of people about MND, both those with it, those who care for someone with it & those who know or have known someone with it. I am starting to recognise a commonality with nearly all of us. We seem to without exception. ask the question, "WHY?" For some reason, this ailment seems to be selective. Without exception, all folk that I have come in contact with that devlop this illness, are nice people. I have yet to meet anyone with it that isn't a nice person, which makes the question "WHY?'' all that much more pertinent.

My spiritual faith says to me that the whole of our life consists of lessons that we have chosen to learn. Caring for someone with MND has seen some pretty big waves battering at the breakwater of my faith , as I have mentioned elsewhere here. It's very difficult to come up with something positive to be learned from coping with something like this.

I was talking to an old friend yesterday whose beliefs run along similar lines to mine. He is one of those eternal optimists who can find good in every situation. Well. nearly always anyway. I hadn't talked with him in a while & even he was struggling to find anything positive to say about MND. We chatted for a while, then suddenly, in a flash of insight, I came up with what I believe the lesson to be learned from MND & diseases like it, is. In a word, acceptance.

None of us really want to be in the situation of having to deal with MND either first or second hand. One thing that I realise now is that I deal with it in what is maybe a strange way. Other than finding out what the theory of MN is & how it affects the body, I have deliberately not delved too far into how it affects the body. Some may feel this to be a head in the sand attitude, but I don't agree. As each stage of the disease happens, I deal with it in my own way. Part of that is not worrying about things that haven't happened yet.

It would be very easy, under the circumstances to fall into the trap of the "Why me?" syndrome. It's a dreadful disease & it is difficult to understand why it should be inflicted on ANYONE let alone nice people. This is where the acceptance comes in. WE don't know why, we don't think its fair. But there it is. Right in your face. You need everything you have to deal with it. So... acceptance. you just have to accept that it's a huge part of your life now. You don't have to like it, just accept it. Save all your energy for dealing with it. You will sure as hell need it.

A rite of passage

2011-08-28T18:13:00.002+12:00

Chris came down to see us this weekend. You know Chris, Jude's youngest son & my strong right arm. I'm glad he did, because this weekend was the biggy for Jude & I. We have had a Hospital bed sitting in the garage all week & I have been going out , looking at it & contemplating the significance of it. You see, Jude has reached a point where she is no longer able to support her own weight & needs a commode & a wheelchair to cope with life now. Our bedroom is quite big, but there isn't really enough room around our bed for me to manage her in & out of bed any more. Hence the hospital bed. To accommodate it has required a major rearrangement of all 3 bedrooms. I won't bore you with the details, but it was very much a case of all hands to the pump. The inimitable Colleen, our care giver & good friend, came round & helped as well. To be fair, her & Chris did most of the work, & I sorta hung round like a spare wotsitsname at a wedding looking lost. The bedrooms are all sorted now, with just a bit of fine tuning to do, but everything is useable now. I must admit to feeling sad looking at our double bed in the spare room now & 2 single beds in our room. I will admit though, that the increased ease of managing Jude in & out of bed helps ease the hurt a bit.

We also have a patient lifter waiting in the garage as well, but we can't use it yet, as it was minus $1600.00 worth of battery pack & lifting sling when we got it. That will help a lot with the nightly shifts from bed to commode & back. I am as gentle as i can be, but I know I hurt her arthritic leg every time I lift her.

The animals are very unsettled, with Tigs, who likes to snuggle up between us spending most of last night going from one bed to the other. Fattums isn't much better & the little dog isn't at all happy about being relegated to the foot of the bed, but there just plain isn't enough room for her up by my pillow any more. They will adapt, as will I. Time heals most things I guess.

I had to go down to The Red Shed To get a couple of things this morning, so i took advantage of Chris still being here to give the little dog a walk down in Victoria Park as well. We both love it down there. As soon as Whispa knows we are going there, she starts yipping & mooing with excitement, jumping up & down huffing & snuffing out her window. Sundays are always a nice time down there, especially with the lovely weather we had today. Sunday is the day that the Miniature Railway runs & it really is a big rite of passage for all Thames grandparents to proudly take their grand children down there & pretend that its just for the little ones that they ride it as well. I know, because I've done that. For the princely sum of $1.00 a ride, its an inexpensive way to enjoy a spring morning with the little ones.

So Whispa & I go for a walk. Its a great way to vicariously share the joy & excitement. We both enjoy the walk round under all the beautiful old Pohutukawa trees as well. The little dog gallops madly round in the wet grass thoroughly enjoying herself, while I pretend not to hug the trees. Its a lovely way to destress & recharge the batteries for the coming week.

The Secret Garden

2011-08-11T08:05:00.002+12:00

I don't know if it is a pensioners complaint or not , but I am actually starting to enjoy gardening. Those that know me well enough will tell you that I am more a hunter gatherer than a farmer, but in spite of my self, I am starting to enjoy it. You see, Jude is gradually becoming more & more intensive in her care needs. Sometimes I find it very painful just watching her try to do something for herself. She never gives up, but there are a lot of things now that she just simply can't do for herself. Simple things that you & I take for granted, like getting out of bed, or feeding herself. Even putting a rug over her knees. Suffice it to say that the gardening that she loved so much is only a fond memory now.

So I have stepped into the gap. I know she worries about the gardens & my ability to cope with them because she has asked the District Nurse how to go about getting a disability grant to get them done. I have always tried to tailor jobs around Jude's routine, but as she is now sleeping a lot more, it becomes difficult to get things done that require leaving her home on her own, as the simple task of taking her mask off, getting out of bed, coming to the lounge, sitting in a chair & putting a rug over her knees is beyond her now, so a trip to the super market instead of being a leisurely thing is now a frantic dash to get home in time to put her to bed, or help her go to the toilet. Fortunately, an ex workmate's wife has offered to sit with her for me which will be a big help.

As a consequence, I find myself with time on my hands. A simple chore like hanging out & bringing in washing is pleasant, but you can only stretch it so far. Enter gardening. I have always looked after the vege garden, so have started with that. I have resolved to do at least half an hours gardening a day, until they are looking at least as if someone may actually give a passing thought to them if not actually love them. So far its working. The vege garden is looking respectable again & I intend to start on the front garden today, because thats the one that Jude looks at the most. I intend to get her gardens tidy then plant them with masses of ground cover so that I will mostly just have to prune her beloved roses.

The Secret Garden ? That's in my head. On a sunny afternoon when you're on your knees with a little black dog snuffling around beside you, your hands in soft fertile earth, it's an awful lot easier to try & make some sort of sense out of life. At the very least it provides half an hour or so where you can let your mind take flight & soar in places that are just memories now. I still don't like gardening & its a form of self discipline that I need to do it , but aside from pleasing Jude, the side effects in my head are well worth it.

The Taking of Pelham 123 & other stuff.

2011-07-31T22:47:00.003+12:00

I sat & watched the 2009 remake of this movie tonight starring Denzel Washington & John Travolta. I've never watched either it, or any of its predecessors, although I had heard of it. Its a damn good movie. Its a very credible action movie with a certain amount of related violence that shocks with it's gritty realism, not entertains because of its improbability. The fact that it has been remade 3 or 4 times kind of speaks for a very strong story line. It kept my eyes open for 90% of it anyway, which is doing real good for me at the moment. we seem to be having a bit of a time of it at the moment you see, which makes for very broken nights on both our behalfs.

I explain. When Jude was in hospital, she naturally had her BIPAP machine there with her. Easier than using a hospital one as hers is set up for her & she trusts it. Trust is an important factor for her these days. Anyway, our BIPAP is somewhat newer than the hospital ones & different to operate. Sadly, Jude had nurse Hamfisti assigned to her for one of the night shifts who obviously thought that the way to turn it on was to press the on button as hard as you can while screwing it remorselessly in a counter clockwise (I think) fashion. This as I eventually found out has the lovely effect of making the button part company with its housing & partly disappear down it's own fundamental orifice. This has the ongoing effect of sending the machine into paroxysms of test modes, spontaneous startup/shutdown cycles & all sorts of fun things that , at 2.00 AM, present all the entertainment of a slow motion train wreck.

I finally figured it out, figured how to get it useable & phoned the Sleep Clinic at Waikato to make arrangements to uplift a replacement. The next hurdle was getting someone to sit with Jude while I was away. (4 hours is just a bit too long on her own) Our usual person had an important appointment on the day & couldn't do it. We ended up double booked, but the main thing was that I could go off & not worry about her which was great. Enter the new BIPAP machine. Apart from it sounding like no.2 engine on a 747, it worked well. Too well in fact. Way too well. Jude started complaining of wind & it got to the point where I was literally having to deflate her every hour or so during the night via her PEG tube. We nutted it out between it that this thing was pushing too much air into her & because of her reduced muscle control, a substantial amount of it was being pushed into her stomach. Another trip to the sleep clinic on Saturday afternoon revealed that the original technician that set the machine up didn't set the flow right & it was pushing through half as much again as it was supposed to. All is now well, with the noise greatly reduced & Jude getting the right amount of air that she is supposed to. The moral of the story ? If you are being given equipment of any kind, particularly replacement stuff, Don't be afraid to get it operating while you are still at whatever clinic you're at. It could save you trips & sleepless nights later on. Jude is doing OK. She is recovering as well as can be expected, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that she did get a hairline crack in at least one of her ribs during resusc. She doesn't complain, but I can see it in her eyes when I turn her over at night. I know how it feels, because I've done it myself 2 or 3 times & the only healer is time, about 6 weeks of it.

I finally got out for a walk this afternoon. Just lately its been a case of commitments that don't allow it or weather that precludes much more than the obligatory 100 yard dash to let the little dog do what she has to, but today was beautiful. I couldn't get out this morning because of visitors, washing & other stuff, so we went this afternoon. There is something rather nice about a Sunday afternoon stroll. It's surprising how many people are out & about either with or without their beloved pets. One thing I love about walking with a dog is that it acts as a superb icebreaker & allows me to meet all sorts of interesting people. Today, I met this lovely young couple feeding the ducks. They are Tasmanian (we wont hold that against them) & have been working at Wanaka. She is now working for DOC in Thames doing work in the Biodiversity Field, whatever that is & they are living up the Kauarenga Valley. We had a lovely chat. Its small pleasures like this now that keep me reasonably sane & happy..

Catching Up

2011-07-24T16:04:00.002+12:00

I am in catch up mode a bit. Life has been somewhat eventful for the last week or so. You see last Thursday week Jude ended up in hospital yet again. Fortunately, this time it was the local one, so there was minimal traveling involved. What happened was effectively my fault, but I'm not beating myself to death about it. I do feel guilty, yes, but not in an all encompassing, soul destroying way. If Jude held me responsible for what happened, then yes I would feel substantially worse, but she doesn't, bless her, so we both just put it down to live & learn.

Lately, we have been trying her with small cups of coffee & a taste of wine on her toothette sponges just to moisten her mouth & at least give her the taste of it. Anyway, I was eating a particularly tasty orange Thought a tiny morsel of it might bee good to suck on just for the taste of it in her mouth. Jude agreed. It wasn't, so out came trusty Igor, the suction unit. Jude started to get a little panicky as she was getting very short of breath & reflexively bit down hard on the suction tip & dislodged a tooth.. Lots of blood & mucous & the 3rd call for an ambulance in as many weeks. He thought it was incredibly funny when I asked him for frequent flyers points. I followed along with her BIPAP & a change of clothes & got there just as they were transferring her from the ambulance stretcher to a hospital bed. AS I got there, the driver said, "Is her face always that color?" "No! " says I, then all hell broke loose.

The upshot was that it took 4 doctors something like 4 minutes to get her back for me & in the end it took shock paddles to do it. I know this terrible affliction will eventually reach out a cold bony hand & take her from me, but thankfully, it wasn't this time. It wasn't right, it wasn't time & I wasn't prepared to let her go at that point.

She is home again & recovering now, but still very frail & fragile. I can't praise the hospital doctors & nursing staff enough. Admittedly, either Jude has worked with them as a Friend of the Emergency Department, or I have grown up & gone to school with a lot of them as well but still... It's a lovely new hospital wing with very enlightened views. I was even allowed to bring our little dog into the room & have her on the bed, where she sat with her head on Judes arm gazing soulfully into her eyes, but all is right with the world now. Jude is snuggled up in bed with a cat curled up with her & the little dog has deserted me for the warmth of the fire in the lounge.

We've had problems with her BIPAP as well. Wouldn't shut off, wouldn't turn on, going in & out of test modes & all sorts of weird things, which are bloody wonderful at 2.00 AM when you are trying to get her in & out of bed for a potty stop. I was all set to go through to Waikato for an evening appointment with the Sleep Clinic, but I managed to fix it. All it is is a worn stop start button that you have to very carefully pick out of its hole every once in a while. I'm going to send a picture of it through to them & see if a replacement is available. It's useable now though which is good.

Then there was the saga of our new cordless paging system, (Wireless Doorbell) It's been working intermittently for a while now. I replaced the batteries but that helps sometimes, sometimes not. I tracked it down though. You see I tape the bell push to Jude's get out of bed frame, which is made of steel tubing. The body of the bell push has an adhesive pad on the back of it which I haven't to date used, but it has compressed to being paper thin & this has been killing the signal. A small bit of hardboard attached to the sticky pad has solved THAT problem.

Now for the good news. We've had a good weekend. Jude has been spoiled rotten. Chris & Mel came down for the day on Saturday, bought some lovely flowers down with them & Phil & Jean came down as well, stayed the night & left about lunchtime today. We haven't really had all that much to do with Jean, but she is a lovely lady & really went out of her way to make a fuss of Jude which was nice. Its all left Jude very tired, but the weekend is a good tired with some happy memories.

Well that's about it. This coming week I'm going to see about getting Jude's teeth cleaned up, getting her hair tinted & trimmed & I'm going to try & overcome a personal phobia I have regarding paper work & get some done that seriously needs doing. All good positive stuff.

Glory Days

2011-07-14T13:41:00.003+12:00

My old mate Hawkeye dropped me an email last night. You remember Hawkeye. The old lag from Fire Service days. We keep in touch regularly & try to keep each other relatively grounded. Doesn't always happen. Usually our conversations degenerate to,"Do you remember...?" or who was it that ....?" Or more pertinently, "What ever happened to......? We argue a lot, but that's not a bad thing. It's a bit like a script for a bad rewrite of "Grumpy Old Men.

Anyway, Hawkeye sent me this list entitled "Extinguished," That names all the Fire Fighters from our era that have gone to the great fireground in the sky. There is an awful lot of them. A lot I knew about , but some I didn't. Its not good to learn you have lost old friends by seeing their names on a list. Reminds you too much of your own frailties.

But here we both are. Still, by the grace of God & the Fickle finger of Fate, still plodding along. We both agree that someone should write a book about the Glory Days when Firemen were real men & actually put out fires by going into burning buildings with no breathing gear because we were too proud to admit to human weakness. Men of iron & steel we were . 10 foot tall & bullet proof, at least thats how it seemed at the time. Now when we feel the effects of years of abuse to our bodies, we know different. Yes, we should write a book, but what we be the point. Nobody would believe it anyway.

Sleep well old comrades. May all your night shifts be clear of calls & may all your standby's be on group training days..

Louisiana Rain

2011-07-12T23:03:00.005+12:00

I was really looking forward to relaxing in front of the fire tonight with a little black dog on my lap, a glass of reasonable quality malt in my sticky little paw & some top quality Tom Petty playing on Prime in the show called Prime Rocks. Sadly, I was not to have it uninterrupted. It was one of Jude's worse nights. Up & down for most of the first half of it. The joys of being a caregiver I guess. We have , under the Dietician's supervision, been slowly changing her over to a full diet of the Fortisip Multi Fibre. We are at present at a rate of 4 of the multi to 2 of the ordinary, but its too much. She hasn't been feeling very flash, but it wasn't until the District Nurse came this afternoon that I found out that she is constipated. After the nurse left we had, yet again, another of our chats (one sided) about the value of keeping me up to date with regards to her symptoms. We are going to back her off to a 50 50 mix & give her something to soften her up & get her going again. I suggested taking her out on the back lawn & hooking the garden hose up to her PEG tube, but the District Nurse didn't seem to think it a terribly good idea. She did laugh though.

A dear friend some time ago suggested that a TENS machine might provide relief for Jude's hips & knee. I did check it out at the time, but they were a bit on the expensive side. I subscribe to one of those daily deal email things. Mostly, I just give em a quick scan & delete em, but today I sat up a bit. Out came the trusty old credit card & hey presto, 2 minutes later 2 TENS machines are on the way for a princely sum of $40.00 (I have joint aches as well & fight a constant battle with my lower back from lifting Jude round all the time) If they help, fine, if not then it's not a huge amount to shell out, as they had something like a 60% discount on them.

Anyway, to make the title of my post relevant, here is some classic Tom Petty. Smooth as.... Louisiana Rain... Enjoy

Victory

2011-07-11T21:04:00.002+12:00

I managed to get Jude into the spa this afternoon. Her knee has been giving her hell lately & although I have found a way to get her in & out with little drama, it's taken till today to do it. Basically, I have a bar stool with a revolving top that's the same height as the spa pool. After a couple of experiments that didnt work, we found the best way is for her to back up to the stool on her walker , hitch herself up on to it as much as she can. I remove the walkerget the rest of her on the stool, turn it round & lift her legs in. From there its a relatively easy thing to take her gently under the arms & lift her into the pool with me.

She did enjoy it so, but like everything extracurricular these days, there is always a price. An early night, not even watching Castle. Still, I can always get that on TV on demand.

Stormy Weather

2011-07-10T16:57:00.002+12:00

Well, it's been a lusty blustery few days here. Because we are so sheltered, we dodge the worst of the wind, but nothing alas, can shelter us from rain. So , armed with 3 days worth of washing I hit the clothesline this morning. For the record, I don't do lines in garages or clothes horses. Can't stand them. I will if the situation warrants throw the odd load in the dryer, but definitely prefer natures way the best. I got it all dry. I was enjoying my usual quiet time folding & sorting the washing. It's always the same. The little dog snuffles around the edges of the garden making it seem as though there is a regiment of hedgehogs on manoeuvres & Fattums the cat rolls round on her back playing with what ever bit of stick she can find. On a day like today when there is just enough wind to render the washing nice & soft as well as dry. I knew that rain was inevitable from the lowering black clouds approaching. Still it was a little disappointing to feel the first few drops on the backs of my hands when I was still only two thirds of the way through getting it into the basket. So that made for the usual mad dash of grabbing it all into the basket & inside before it got more than a few drops on it. I went inside leaving Fattums lying on her back in the middle of the lawn enjoying the feel of rain on her fat old ginger tum.

I have solved the problem of getting Jude into Sherman. I'm told that all by myself, I have re invented the transfer board. Whatever. It works. A nice smooth board with a handle on one end that I sit on the car seat, then sit Jude on it & slide her across. Much easier than bodily lifting her in.

One of the drawbacks of the patient/caregiver situation can be lack of human contact other than health care professionals & especially in Jude's case, I feel the lack of ordinary conversation. For some reason, friends, other than a very loyal minority, stop calling. This can be for a number of reasons, but chiefly I think because the sight of the patient scares them, they don't know what to say, or they don't want to tire the patient out. Well, we have had plenty of contact over the last few days. Thursday wasn't so hot. Jude had an appointment with the Respiratory Clinic in Thames for 10.30. basically, it was a waste of time, with me having to explain, yet again, why Jude can't do a respiratory function test. She hasn't been able to for the last 2 years or so. One would think the message would have got through after that long. After an hour, Jude was not in good shape & I was ready to tell them we were going home. Fortunately, they found her a bed to lie on & put her at the top of the list to be seen. Then we got seen by the new registrar, who proceeded to ask the same old questions that we have answered God knows how many times in the past & upset Jude by talking about a time when she wouldn't need the BIPAP. Basically a waste of time that took Jude most of Friday to recover from.

Saturday we had a lovely time. Packed Jude & the dog into Sherman & we went down to the market. It was a nice enough day weatherwise. Whispa very dutifully trotted alongside Jude's chair & we all thoroughly enjoyed being out & about & talking to people, not to mention coming home with a nice smoked Kahawai for me & a nice warm pair of hand knitted wooley gloves for Jude.

As if that wasn't enough, we had visitors Saturday afternoon. Both of us. Jude had her most loyal friend Joy come to see her, & Al dropped in to see me at about the same time. Al is an old workmate & one of the very few that has actually bothered to stay in touch after I finished working. It was a real tonic to sit down with an old mate & catch up on gossip over a few beers. Other than the washing & keeping up to scratch with dishes etc., I haven't really done a lot. But I do feel refreshed & recharged. Thats the main thing isn't it ?

A caring frame of mind

2011-06-23T15:10:00.002+12:00

Some times its easier to be a carer than others. It's easy during the day, when you are reasonably awake. Tailoring my own requirements around Jude's increasing needs for help is an on going sort of thing that requires a certain flexibility of mind. It is a case now of doing chores & errands down town while she is awake & watching TV. This isn't so hard as I am finding that more & more she is becoming a creature of habit. My only regret s for the morning is that it isn't practical to walk the dog at the time I used to, namely when the kids are walking to school. That I regret, as the kids love to stop & give Whispa a pat, but the later time has its advantages as well. I get to have my walk uninterrupted, which gives me serious thinking time.

Night time is the time that I find hardest to cope with at the moment. There is quite a ritual. When she is finally turned on her side in bed, she needs her mouth suctioned out. She does that herself. Sometimes I help, but I have a rule that I refuse to put the handpiece past her teeth. The next is to make sure the BIPAP is set up properly, mask straps adjusted correctly, water in the reservoir, mask clean & most importantly, a strip of plaster across the bridge of her nose to stop it from chafing. Fitting the mask is something not to be rushed, as it's better to get it right first time. Then there is a thin pillow to go between her knees to pad her painfully thin legs & arthritic knee, the final roll over to her sleeping postion, adjusting her pillow to the just right position, snuggling the blankets up round her shoulders nice & warm, the kiss goodnight, me saying ,"I love you," her clenching my hand, which is her way of saying the same, turning the light out & off to the lounge.

Sometimes I get to sit & watch the Discovery Channel for an hour or so with the dog on my knee, her heaving great sighs of happiness, me with a whisky & soda in hand. More often than not its me just getting settled & Jude ringing the pager because her mask isn't right, or she needs to suction her mouth again. This can happen 3 or 4 times before she finally settles. Once I'm sure she is settled &/or what I'm watching has finished, the little dog & I go for a 5 minute stroll then go to bed. The hardest bit is when I get woken up an hour after I finally get to sleep because she needs to go to the toilet. That involves waiting till she comes back so that I can settle her down again.

You will therefore, understand why sometimes it is very easy to get a little bit short when you continually get your down time interrupted. I have on a couple of occasions walked out of the bedroom in sheer frustration at my inability to divine what is wrong & remedy it. Sometimes I need to stop before I go to her & remind myself of a few things.

I think back to when I had both Carpal Tunnels repaired & How frustrated I was that I couldn't even wipe my own butt. I remember what an independent lady Jude has always been, now she can't even dress or feed herself, let alone express herself. I think about how it must feel to know that it isn't going to get better, only worse. I think about the gardening, patchwork & helping people that she used to love so much. I stack all this up against missing a few minutes of TV, or having a broken nights sleep & its a bit of a no contest really. Yes, it is difficult at times as the level of care increases, but doubly maybe trebly so for your loved one. So when the tough times come, just try & remember the love & trust you are being shown in that you have the privelege of caring for someone so brave. That certainly helps me to put a smile on my face & a kind word in my mouth at my low times.

Sweet Home....

2011-06-12T23:00:00.002+12:00

Well, my precious little family is all safely back in the nest. Jude didn't get an Ambulance home. She didn't really need it, she has recovered so much. We did have to hang around, however, till1.30 for an appointment with the sleep lab. Jude's BIPAP mask doesn't fit so well any more, so they wanted to fit her with a new one, which they did. Its a neat mask & has a lot of features that are better than the old one she had, but as far as Jude is concerned, it has one major problem. You see, it has these protruding arms that stick out for the head strap to hook on to. It's fine if you sleep on your back, but she doesn't. She sleeps on her side with her head snuggled quite fetchingly into her pillow. if she does this with the new mask, the arms tend to push the seal away from her face. I rang the sleep lab on Friday & asked for the old one back & in the meantime have repaired her old one with string & surgical tape to get her through till the new one arrives.

The little dog was overjoyed to see her mum. bouncing up & down, wriggling, hooting, squeaking & licking. All items in her repetoire of joyous action. And so diplomatic. She spent the whole trip over with her backside on Jude's lap, her tum on a cushion on the center console & her head & front paws on my lap. Utter bliss for a little black Dachshund.

One of Jude's nurses there had a trainee nurse under her wing for one of her shifts. She asked me if I could tell them both a bit about Motor neurone disease, management of patients with it & care & usage of BIPAP machines. I'm always happy to advance the cause in any way I can, but I must say that it felt a little strange to be lecturing health care professionals in a hospital, even though I do know what I am talking about these days. I learned a lot while I was there as well. I have changed my attitudes towards things medical & have decided to learn as much as I can in the field. I have learned that at Waikato, if you come to ED as a non urgent patient, you can wait up to 8 or 10 hours to be seen. I have learned that despite the shortage of staff, our hospitals still have some of the most dedicated compassionate & caring people that I have met in a while. I have learned how to reset an electronic drip & work the hospital suction system. I have even learned how to sleep in a hospital Lazyboy. No mean feat I tell you.

So we're home. Jude got a bit panicky trying to get used to the new BIPAP mask & because I couldn't find the panic button for her life link didn't want to be left home alone, so I had to phone her care giver to come round while I went out & got a few groceries. I've since found the button & she has settled to her usual calm self. She even came for a walk with me this morning. Now all we both have to do is get used to feeding her 6 times a day & work out new routines around it.

Ignorance is not always bliss

2011-06-09T06:44:00.002+12:00

For the last few weeks we have had an ongoing problem with infection in Jude's stoma. She has also had increasing levels of discomfort & distention in her abdomen, with no relief forthcoming from any quarter. This came to a head with two ambulance trips to our local hospital & eventually a transfer to Waikato Hospital in Hamilton. Yesterday she finally got her colonoscopy & a new PEG fitted. The old one had degraded quite badly, & this tallied with my theory of it being cause for concern. The big relief was, however, that there was no sign of an ulcer which was what they were worried about.

I should explain that Jude's PEG was fitted very early in her illness on the advice of a remarkable proactive Neuro nurse. She didn't actually need it to live when it was fitted. All we needed to do was keep it flushed with water. As her needs changed, so did the use of her PEG & we just worked it out ourselves, as it never occurred to us to seek advice. So, we just didn't realise that we had been putting far too much into her poor old tum at a time, like 3 bottles of fortisip & 200 mls. of water at a feed. Apparently, one bottle at a time is quite enough with 50 mls of water each side.

So, I'm due to go over & collect her today. Hopefully, her pain levels have dropped substantially & hopefully, they will transfer her by ambulance. This will give a far more comfortable trip than poor old Sherman can provide. When she gets here we go onto a routine of 6 feeds a day for her. We will probably work those around her sleep periods. It will probably take a bit of adjusting to, but I'm sure we will cope. Will let you all know how it goes anyway....

It ain't half hot mum...

2011-05-30T22:59:00.004+12:00

For a little dog that has spent both winters so far of her life, Whispa has proved to be quite up with the play when it comes to the fire. When I am setting it, she is right there being her usual inquisitive self. As you can see, she also enjoys the warmth. Another thing she has taken to doing is when I have my afternoon nap, she will sometimes get down off the bed , go out to the lounge & sprawl out in the sunny patch that comes through the lounge window about 2.00 in the afternoon. She really is rather keen on the concept of keeping warm. as I have found when I wake up in the morning, she is also not averse to snuggling down under the blankets with me if it gets cold. Either that, or worming her way in between my two pillows to keep warm. Yes, I know I shouldn't let her, & yes, I know she should sleep on her own bed on the floor, but she is such a loving little animal that I just let her be where she wants to be.

Jude has been having problems with her stoma lately with infection. The ointments aren't helping & she is in constant pain with it. The pain patches make her nauseous, so we have been using liquid paracetemol. The last time we went to the doctors, he took a swab & gave her 2 different creams for it. which haven't significantly helped. The District Nurses have been coming twice a week & treating granulation on it with silver nitrate, which does help a little. WE have a big day booked tomorrow. Our carer comes at 08.30ish & the district nurse soon thereafter. Sheena, the District Nurse, has lit a fire under the physio at the hospital & we have our first hydrotherapy appointment at 12.30 as well. I think I am going to have a tired little chicken on my hands by the time I get her home.

One of the problems that I thought we had surmounted raised it's ugly head again this weekend. Communication. She saw fit to tell her son that the cold water & cold Fortisip that we pump in to her is giving her the chills. Not so bad in the summer I guess, but most uncomfortable in the winter. I've solved it. Warm water, & remove the straws off the sides of the Fortisip bottles, take the foil seal off the top & put the 3 bottles in the microwave for 1 minute.

The open fire is good, but we have to be very careful about smoke coming into the room. I think it's going to be a difficult winter.

Blue Smoke goes drifting by

2011-05-25T20:37:00.002+12:00

Very much so over the last few days. Sadly it hasn't been drifting so much as hanging around. There hasn't been enough breeze to shift it. Jude has also had a couple of really bad nights as well, but I didn't connect the two until about 2.00 AM this morning when I got up for about the 4th time to suction her mouth out. I could feel the smoke in my eyes & smell it.

Perhaps I should explain. Normally I fill our firebox with wood & shut it right off. That way it smoulders all night, keeps the lounge nice & warm for Jude when she gets up & all I have to do in the morning is open it up again & add more wood. It does produce a lot of smoke though & if there isn't any breeze at all the smoke doesn't go away. If it doesn't go away it ends up in our lungs. Not so much a problem for an old smoke eater like me but for someone as delicate as Jude is these days, its absolute bad news, so I opened the dampers & burnt the wood off. We both slept better after that. So we know now that we need to save our fires for windy or rainy nights. Live & learn I guess.

It's been a funny old week. last Thursday, while we were out for our walk, my little dog got attacked by some mutt not on a lead. When I finally got it off her poor little Whispa took off like a rocket. We found her about an hour later something like 2 kilometers away. I found out how much she means to me then I think. Christopher came down again this weekend. He is always good to have around. Not only does he provide good moral support, he also just quietly puddles away doing stuff round the house without being asked, which is wonderful. Jude's brother & sister also came down for a flying visit on Sunday morning for the second weekend in a row. Elsa left her rings here on their last visit & they decided that it was a good excuse for a second visit to come down to get them. It was good for Chris to get to spend a little time with them as well.

Tuesday saw me doing my second gig at the library. Attendance wasnt that great, but I counted it a win because a reasonable amount of people stopped for a while to listen to at least one of my songs. All the bugs have been ironed out with my new strings & the old beast stayed sweet sounding for the whole hour & I felt really good about it so its all good.

Well, thats my week. At the moment, I'm working out in my mind an idea for a pair of ramps to raise the seat on Judes wheelchair to the same height as the seat in Sherman so that I can slide her straight across from the chair to the wagon. I think I will make it from wood first, to make sure it works, then talk to an engineering firm to get it fabricated from lite aluminium. Will keep you posted regarding it & post photos. Have a good week guys.

Anniversarys & stuff

2011-05-18T23:15:00.002+12:00

My youngest son phoned me tonight. He realised that it was our 20th wedding anniversary today & just wanted to make sure that I was doing alright with the idea. We chatted for a while & seeing as tomorrow is his daughter Conaires 2nd birthday & seeing as we had sent her a present, he suggested that we both flash up Skype so we could watch her unwrap her pressy, so we did. That took all of 30 seconds. She surely isn't a save the paper sort of gal. I thought I did well for a present for her. Its a kitset kite, that includes paint & a brush, so that you can decorate it your self.

For a two year old, she is doing incredibly well. She is talking quite legibly & actually called me "Poppy." That was a nice end to a mixed sort of day emotion wise. I have sort of been having my ups & downs emotionally these last few days thinking about what has been, what is & what is to come. I try not to think about the bit yet to come too much. What is can generally occupy my mind quite successfully. The anniversary gift guide says china or platinum & apparently we should be celebrating ideas & symbols. Somebody asked if we were doing anything special tonight. I said, "Yeah sure. We are going out for tea if we can find a restaurant whose concept of BYO includes the concept of 3 bottles of Fortisip & a 50ml catheter syringe." Didn't fancy our chances much, so stayed home & had a tin of Irish Stew that needed eating. Was OK, but would have been nicer with a bit more meat in it.

So anyway, I ordered her a rather lovely bouquet of flowers that had some beautiful red roses in it that she loves so much. That & bought her a soppy card as well. It all made her cry, so I suppose I did the right thing....

The Last Taboo

2011-05-15T08:24:00.002+12:00

I have crossed a lot of psychological hurdles within my own mind when it comes to dealing with Jude's illness. Without going into too many details, most of them involve what I consider to be the infringement of what I consider to be her personal space. Things that I prefer to do for myself when it comes to my own body & that I find incredibly difficult to do for someone else. Still, when you see your loved one in distress & unable to communicate that distress, you are only left with one option. That is to do what needs to be done in a matter of fact fashion in a way that is caring & causes as little embarrassment as possible.

As you know, we have taken delivery of a suction machine for Jude's mouth. What you DON'T know is that I have an almost pathological fear of invading someone elses oral space. I even went out & bought a pair of tweezers so that I could put her Listerine breath freshening strips in her mouth without having to put my bloody great sausage fingers in her mouth. Anyway, Jude had a few difficulties getting settled when she went to bed last night. All I wanted to do was settle down & watch Kevin Costner save the world yet again in "The Guardian," but she needed help about 3 times. Eventually I figured out that she was having problems with an inordinate amount of phlegm in her mouth that she couldn't clear, so off I trots to get the vacuum cleaner.

The previous times she has used it, she was able to do it for herself, but late evenings aren't good for her, so she indicated in no uncertain terms that she would like me to do it for her. I'm not good at the best of times with suction in my own mouth. Unpleasant memories of dental treatment, but the thought of slurping around in someone elses mouth gives me the horrors. Not any more though. It's another personal hurdle that I have crossed & a little bit more confidence in my own ability to cope with things. No doubt there will be more to come, but I feel that little bit more confident about dealing with things.

In other news, I've done my first of two gigs at the library. Apart from a huge case of the jitters, I've learned a lot that hopefully will serve me in good stead for next week. It's taught me a lot about doing a show on my own anyway. It's a lot of years since I have done that, but I'm getting there.

The weather is cooling down so they say. We've had it pretty good so far. have only lit the fire twice & it was more for psychological benefit than warmth, but my bones are telling me that we have reached the end of the golden weather. Jude's natural brother & sister are coming to visit today. haven't seen them since before Xmas, so that should be good. Meantime, I better get my sorry ass off the computer, get some breakfast, get dressed, walk the dog & tidy up the lounge a bit. At the moment there is music spread from one end to the other.. Sighhhh.. Its a hard life sometimes, but it's the only one I have, so I try to make the most of it..

More steam, Igor.......

2011-05-03T21:44:00.002+12:00

Jude's vacuum pump arrived today. Thank you Atilla for your prompt action. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not complaining about it. Far from it. Its proved it's worth already. Gave Jude's mouth a good vacuuming earlier because she needed it. It does look very Steam Punkish though. Either that, or something out of an old Hammer Horror movie. Lots of visible moving parts, a delightful noise to it and a vacuum gauge that wobbles & flutters as its working. The little dog finds it all incredibly fascinating watching it. Jude finds it absolutely fantastic, so yeah, its an oldy for sure , but worth its weight in gold. I think we'll call it "Igor."

We had a very productive afternoon, because not only did we have Sally, the physio, bring the pump out, we also had Lynn , the district nurse, here as well to instruct us in its operation. I sorta had the idea though, because I very carefully watched the ED nurse at the hospital on Saturday night. It turns out that its actually easier to let Jude do it herself. She knows where the problem is & knows how far down her throat she can put it without choking. Sally is also going to arrange time in the hydrotherapy pool at the hospital to give Jude some respite for her knee, which is troubling her badly. We are both looking forward to it a lot, because she is missing our spa pool. It's too awkward for her & she still has a persistent little infection round her stoma that makes it a bit dodgy for her to go into the pool at home anyway.

I've got butterflies. We went to the library yesterday & got to see the publicity that they have set up to promote my two little recitals that I am going to be given. Its absolutely fantastic, but very scary, so I'm putting in a lot of effort into organising a coherent & relevant sort of repertoire. I think I have it sorted. What is really good is that I am getting callouses back on my finger tips. I'm really pleased about that.

Hey it's good to be back home again..

2011-05-02T10:08:00.005+12:00

As nice as it was to get away for a few days R & R, it's always good to get home again. There's nothing quite like your own bed & being able to do what you like when you like. Not that I didn't enjoy myself, I did. Had an absolute ball. Finally got to see Tane Mahuta & what a magical experience that was. Okay, so you go down a beautifully formed & maintained track with boardwalk when you get near the tree to protect the root system. But for me it was almost enough to see the beautiful unspoiled native bush on either side of the track. Coupled with that was the rain. I enjoyed it. There is nothing to me like the smell of wet native bush.. I stood & closed my eyes for a minute or two & it took me back further than I care to admit to when I prospected for a living & used to spend a week at a time out in bush like that.. Memories....

The only other thing we really did of any consequence we did was go & pretend to fish on the beach at Paihia. We didn't actually catch anything, but we didn't really expect to. It was enough just to have an excuse to sit on the beach & watch the world go by. And catch up with an old Fire Brigade buddy. What would be the odds ? We pull up, get out of the car & hear, "What are you two old bastards doing here?" all the more unusual in that we were talking about him only the night before. Good to see you Steve after all these years.

So home. It's always good when people do things willingly & gladly for you. Even more so when folk do things over & above the call of duty. Like when your stepson & his wife come down to care for their Mum while you have a well earned break. When you come home, you find that not only have they done a superb job of it, but have also had big tidy ups, getting a lot of the little jobs that you haven't had the time, inclination or general energy to do, & your house is that tidy that the cleaner grumps at you complaining that she has nothing to do. It gave me the incentive I needed to get stuck in & finish some sorting that needed to be done as well, with the upshot that just under 200 kg of rubbish went to the dump. There was a good breeze blowing, so I had every intention of round about 4.00 O'Clock to get the washing in & mow the back lawn which was dry enough to do at that point.

We all know what happens with good intentions though, don't we ? Shortly before I was going to haul my sorry ass out of this chair & do it, Jude came in, very obviously in distress. It's hard enough at the best of times to figure out what she needs unless she is using her ipad, but when she is panicking & something is very obviously seriously wrong & I am starting to panic as well, then it becomes next to nigh impossible. We sorted out eventually that some of the gunge that builds up on the roof of her mouth had dislodged & gotten itself into her windpipe. We ended up calling the ambulance, but by the time he got here, we had just about got her right. For all that , we decided that it would be best if she was transported to Hospital. So we spent the rest of the afternoon & part of the evening there while they checked her out & aspirated her mouth. A really great team up there & although it was quite a busy Saturday night, we got looked after fairly promptly & very well . The upshot of it all is that there is now an aspirator on its way over from Waikato, so we can sort problems like this out ourselves. I think that we will be using it on a daily basis rather than the sponges on sticks to clean the crap out of her mouth before it becomes a problem.

Chris phoned tonight. It seems he has been talking to someone at work with a nursing background & she has come up with what seems to be a good suggestion. Listerine apparently produce these little thin squares of mouthwash that dissolve on your tongue & freshen your mouth up. Going to check it out tomorrow. I have a lot of time for Chris. He devotes a lot of time & energy into trying to find ways of making his Mum's life that little bit easier. His wife, Melanie, supports him in this unconditionally. I count myself very fortunate to have the two of them on my side. It just makes my life so much easier. Thanks guys.

It's New Zealand Music month this month. This is what I'm doing for it.

Pretty cool huh ? I'm doing about an hour for each show. Have you got any idea how many songs you have to sort out & practice to fill an hour ? Its a lot. I have been combing You Tube for new takes on some of my old standards & there is plenty to choose from. I have restrung The Beast with a brand of string that I haven't used before, but had recommended to me. They are lovely. The base strings have a wonderful booming sound that I have looked for for years, so I am adapting some of the old standards to accentuate this. I'm also going to jump in at the deep end & do something that I have never done before, namely use my harmonica rack in public. Hopefully, it should go well. Fingers crossed. Also hopefully, I have left enough good songs for the second show. Don't really want to repeat too much.

En Vacance

2011-04-25T14:13:00.002+12:00

I've always like that French term for going on holiday. It always seems to promise exotic destinations & activities. Well, I am en vacance in the little Northland town of Kaikohe, with my old Fire Service buddy Hawkeye. In between talking ourselves dry last night, we made vague plans to go fishing & make the pilgrimage to see the Giant Kauri, Tane Mahuta today. Mother nature decreed otherwise. It's pouring with rain & the wind is howling around Ken's snug little cottage like you wouldn't believe. The fire is going, the little dog is curled up at my feet, the whisky is drinkable, the company is good & the books are readable.

I'm quietly relieved that we didn't go today. I think I'm more tired than I have been for a very long time. I had a good 2 hours snooze earlier & may have another later. I took the little dog for a walk this morning as is my usual wont. It's always interesting going for a wander in a different town. Kaikohe is interesting as apparently, it doesn't have a "good" area or a "bad" area. its all mixed in together. For instance, there was a beautifully kept house on one side of the road & an absolute derelict that didn't even have doors on the other. A real social contrast.

Ken has just informed me that according to the local paper. the weather today is about as good as its going to get all week. I'm beginning to have serious doubts as to the veracity of tales told of huge fish & balmy weather. It's probably as well that Ken has a good supply of movies in stock. On a serious note, this time away is making me realise the importance of a battery recharge every now & then in the form of a little selfish time every once in a while, even if it is spent in front of a fire reading & drinking whisky.

The Pharmac Blues

2011-04-14T21:51:00.002+12:00

As of the 1st of April,(yeah I know, April Fool, hahahahahaa.... cue hysterical laughter) our beloved Pharmac, arbiter of which pills & potions us lowly peasants are allowed to have dispensed to us either free or at a reduced rate made some quite sweeping changes. It would appear that they have finally woken up to the fact that pharmaceutical companies have been creaming it somewhat at their, (Pharmac's) expense. So as of the 1st of April things have changed. Substantial amounts of drugs have come off the free list or had their subsidy greatly reduced. So are we going to see a decline in the annual dividends paid to the shareholders of the pharmaceutical companies ? Ooohhh nooo dear readers. Guess who is paying ? us poor taxpayers, beneficiaries, old age pensioners & anyone unfortunate to be ill.

One of the things to be affected is Jude's Fortisip. The subsidy is being reduced to the point where the end user will be paying $1.00 per 200 ml bottle. Doesn't sound like much, but thats $10.00 a litre , more than milk & Jude is totally dependent on the stuff put through a PEG tube. We were very lucky. We have an excellent relationship with our pharmacist, so we knew well in advance what was going to happen & had plenty of time to investigate alternatives, which we did. It took not inconsiderable time. Not only on my behalf, but also our pharmacist & our doctor, sourcing acceptable alternatives that were covered still. We got there, to the point where we were initiating moves to get our authority changed. That in itself was going to be a mission as Pharmac's computer in Wanganui is conveniently on the sick list & all new applications have to be handwritten, submitted by fax & can take anything up to 2 weeks to approve. Oh what Fun.

Jude has been having problems with an infection in her stoma, which has been treated with ointments & antibiotics, but we have stopped the anti bi's as they are giving her the runs. Anyway, Sheena, our favorite District Health Nurse, has also been treating it with silver nitrate, probably the most effective of anything. She has also solved our hassles with Fortisip. She has been talking to our hospital dietician, a nice young chap, who informed her that a new directive has been issued stating that anyone who is totally dependent on Fortisip via a PEG for sustanance can, wait for it, still get it on full subsidy. All that has to happen is your GP has to write either "Prescribed condition" or "Bolus fed through a feeding tube" on the script. Talk about round & round in circles of diminishing propensity until you vanish in a puff of smoke up your own fundamental orifice, but alls well that ends well I guess.

Now in other news......

Jude's new toy arrived today. A brand spanking new 16 gig ipad with wifi thats never been booted up. That in itself constituted a problem as we had no instruction book either & Apple are somewhat close chested about promulgating such things on line. Anyway, a call to our local computer store, (Computer Geeks, very helpful folk) got things underway. That & the nice lady from WheelChair Solutions showing me how to turn it on & off got me started. My God, what a process. Lets just say it involves an early start, a packed picnic lunch, a computer, a credit card & an incredible amount of patience.

Anyway, after a few false starts, forgotten passwords & considerable bad language, I was able to present Jude with her new voice. She now has an ipad loaded with a programme called Proloquo, which effectively gives her a voice to talk to people with again. I get the satisfaction of a job well done & seeing the look of happiness on my darling's face. Money can't buy that.

You were always on my mind

2011-03-31T17:22:00.002+13:00

I think that one of the hardest aspects of being a caregiver to someone who is terminally ill, is coming to the realisation that no matter how much of yourself that you put in, no matter how much you love, no matter how much you care, you still, in the long run, are not going to win. It is incredibly easy to beat yourself up over the little things. Like when you have just sat down to relax in what you consider to be your time & your darling pages you for something. To be moved a bit in bed, the BIPAP on/off. If you're a caregiver you will know what I mean. Somehow, you find it within yourself to stifle that first burst of annoyance because you have just started a conversation or a game on line, or in my case just sat down for your half hour practice on the guitar. After all, lets be brutally honest here. YOU have chosen to do this. Nobody ever said it was ever going to be easy. On the contrary. Professional caregiving , I guess, must be hard enough, but when all is said & done, the emotional attachment isn't quite the same, no matter how caring & compassionate you might be. Also, you get to go home after 8 hours & be a normal human being.

Caring for a loved one is a full time & very scary commitment. Not only are you responsible for the care & wellbeing of another person & , in my case, their spokesman, as Jude cannot speak, there is the emotional aspect of it as well. You deeply love the person that you are caring for. It's not an easy thing to see them wasting away knowing that no matter how much effort you invest, nothing you can do is going to reverse the situation. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not really wallowing in self pity, or at least I don't think that I am. Although it is always in the back of my mind that, yes, I am going to lose her & no, its not going to be easy, I do know that in my darkest times I can console myself with one thing.

That is, that I am doing the utmost & absolute best that I can for her. No "ifs buts or maybe's" I'm doing the best that I can. I don't have any nursing or palliative care experience other than what I am gaining on the job, but I do have a caring, compassionate & very able team supporting me. That helps a lot. Thanks guys.

Jude decided to come shopping with me yesterday. There were one or two things that she wanted that she couldn't really describe to me, so she came. Its always good taking her for groceries. We put her in her wheelchair, grab one of the special trolleys that clip on the front of the chair & off we go. She sits there like royalty holding the shopping list & points out the stuff that we need as we go. I don't know, but I guess that it helps her to feel useful. Anyway, we had just about finished when we met a lady that we hadn't seen for a number of years. She was visibly shocked when she saw Jude & how much she has deteriorated. Thats OK, but then she proceeded to tell me in a very loud voice how sad it all was & how sorry she felt for me etc etc etc. All the time totally ignoring Jude. Maybe she thought Jude's mental faculties were gone as well. Thats a particularly nasty cross that MND sufferers have to bear. The loss of control in the facial muscles produces a very vacant look. Not so, as we all know, but it's quite annoying when people just talk over the top of her as if she isn't there.

Anyway, I'm going to leave the last word in this post to Willy Nelson. I think he sums the whole thing up well..

Care Giver Blues

2011-03-28T22:52:00.002+13:00

I think that Jude & I are starting to get to the hard bit in our journey. I know for certain that Jude is finding day to day things a real struggle & needs more & more help to cope. The down side of this is that I am finding that I have less time for my safety valve outlets. Every day now it seems that I have to think of new ways of organizing my day so that I can get enough "me" time in to get by. The kicker is that at the moment, the worse she gets, the more time I need & the less time I get. Just another of lifes little conundrums to figure out I guess. At least I know now what my problem is & can work on it. Little things, like remembering to give Jude her evening feed before I start beating something to death for myself, so I don't have to stop halfway through mine to do hers.

One major innovation I have come up with is the purchase of a cordless doorchime. The chime bit isn't much bigger than a pack of cigarettes & so fits handily into the pocket of my cargo shorts that I tend to wear. The buzzer bit fits neatly into a soft mobile phone case & hangs on a lanyard around Judes neck. It has a range of give or take, 30 metres, so pretty much works anywhere round the house. The whole set up for under $30.00.

Whisper has found a friend. There is a 6 month old brown male Dachsy halfway along the road that I walk every morning. He's a nice little chap except that his head & nose seem too big for the rest of him. maybe he will grow in to it. Just like I guess I will grow in to the way things are now.

Loving her was easier.

2011-03-27T15:48:00.003+13:00

Well, Cory & Rob have gone & are safely home in Texas. I couldnt play for them as the tail piece on my guitar broke. Its now replaced & my trusty old Eko is all better & tuned now. It took a couple of days. You dont just throw the strings onto a 12 string & wind em up & hope to play it, specially one as old as mine. Like all of us, they take a little while to settle in & take up the load. You can't hurry it. Its better to leave it sit over night a note or so lower than concert pitch. You can hear it creaking while you put the load on.

The next day sees you right to hook up the tuner & set it up properly. There is a timeworn joke that goes like this.......

How long does it take to tune a 12 string ?

Nobody knows because its never been done.

I will admit it does take a while & unless you have a good ear, (I don't) then a fitted pickup & an electronic tuner are pretty much a must. You know when you have it right, because the instrument comes alive, resonating beautifully. Would you guess that I'm a fanatic when it comes to 12's? I've only been playing one for 45 years, so yeah I guess.

Anyway, I haven't touched it in a while & I have opened my big trap & agreed to do a lunchtime recital at our local library sometime in May as part of New Zealand music month. I also have vague promises of a couple of other gigs round & about the place. So, today being a bit of a too much of nothing sort of day & having already cleaned all the paper & crap out of the garage, I decided to set up a practice corner in the garage & start dedicating at least half an hour a day to practice. So, I dug out my music etc., & started working my way through my music. I was going great guns too until I flipped over to this song & started playing it...

Parting is such sweet sorrow

2011-03-23T18:02:00.002+13:00

For the past three weeks, we have had the pleasure of Cory & Rob's company in this country. They are from Texas & were here for a well earned honeymoon. We haven't had the pleasure of their company in our house for very long, 24 hours on their way in & a couple of days on the way out, but just long enough. Just long enough to make a friendship that I am sure will last a lifetime. Just long enough that, unusually for me, I shed tears on our parting this afternoon. Just long enough that the house feels very empty without them here. Come back soon guys. You were here just long enough to make me feel that I have known you all my life. I love you both dearly.

For whom the bell tolls

2011-03-14T21:18:00.002+13:00

I got some very sad news today. A lady that we met while we were on holiday has just passed away. We didn't really know her at all. She was pretty much in the same boat as Jude in as much as she couldn't speak either, so they just sorta sat there & smiled at each other a lot. To complicate matters, she also had early onset Alzheimers. We found out a bit about her from her husband though. She was a school teacher as well as a music teacher, so all in all, a very clever & intelligent lady. Now she's gone. Its very sad. You could tell that she was a lovely & dignified sort of a person. Rest in peace, Judith Angus. Life treated you unfairly. May you be at peace where you are now.

I don't enjoy receiving news like that. it reminds me somewhat uncomfortably of the uncomfortable inevitability of this dreadful disease that we are facing. There is no get out of jail free card, no last minute miracle cure & no hidden exit. We don't like looking at that. We know where we are heading. Every day brings something new pointing the bony finger in the only direction that it can point, be it having to spend more time each day on the BIPAP machine, sleeping more, or getting more unsteady on her feet. Not only does it make life harder for her, it also limits the amount that she can do every day, so I am learning a new skill. That of organising time out of the house to achieve maximum results. We have the library to a fine art now. I slowly push her down one or the other of the aisles. She points out books, I retrieve, she peruses & decides if its readable or not. Meantime I keep an eye open for myself & books on the higher shelves that she can't see because of her inability to lift her head very far now.

She gets a lovely massage Mondays & Fridays, they help her a lot. We have asked DSL if we can have our carer in to shower & dress her 7 days a week now. I could carry on doing it, but I feel awkward. I know that Jude can feel that, but bless her she doesn't say a word. So its easier to let Colleen do it. Its what she does for a living & she does it very well. Add to that the fact that she has been a personal friend for a lot of years & you get the idea. Depending on what time I wake up, I get an hour or so in the morning to puddle on line without having to keep an ear open for Jude needing help. 3 claps means she needs help. Anything else is approval of something on TV or in a book or what ever. Anyway, I usually wait till she is out of bed, gone to the loo & settled in front of one or the other of the tellies. She hasn't said anything, but I think the TV in the bedroom might be a little high for her. Something to check on. Once she has settled, the little dog & I go for our morning walk. I have found a definite benefit to waiting until I get back before I have my breakfast. I don't feel so sluggish & an empty stomach helps the thought processes.

The rest of the day basically revolves around me trying to do the non noisy stuff while she is sleeping. I can generally get a nap for an hour or two in the early afternoon while she is watching her home renovation & cooking shows. Strangely, at this time of year anyway, I actually look forward to bringing in the washing. It's very quiet & peaceful in the back yard. All you can hear is the Tuis Pigeons & starlings all having their late afternoon chats. All accompanied by a little dog happily munching on her bone. I buy her beef soup bones. They have a lot of meat on them & make a pleasant change for her from chicken necks. I used to just haul the washing off the line, dump it in the basket, then maybe sort & fold it while watching TV in the evening, but I have found a certain enjoyment in folding sun crisp washing & sorting it as I go. less crinkles & wrinkles as well.

So, here I am at 1100 pm, at the keyboard with my post Jude bed time scotch on the rocks. It helps settle me for the night. That & a 5 minute walk so that the little dog can have her last potty stop of the day before she curls up by my head, gives a couple of happy piggy little grunts, carefully puts her head on my shoulder, I suspect to try & make sense of what is written in the book I am reading. It never fails to amaze me. She sleeps not 6 inches away from me all night & yet in the morning we have a mad gallop round the lounge with enough enthusiasm that you could be forgiven for thinking she had been locked in a shed at the bottom of the garden all night. She has boundless enthusiasm for what ever she does, be it going for a walk, going out in the wagon or curling up for a nap with me. I honestly don't know where I would be mentally without her, she is such a joy to have about.

So there we are. Judith Angus has gone on. She is free of the indignity of having to have other people having to care for a body that increasingly won't do what the brain tells it to do. I can only imagine what that must be like. I have an inkling, because I live with it & see the frustration on Jude's face when she can't even do simple tasks like pull up her own trousers, or watch people sit down & eat. Its not a nice disease.

Magnolia, you sweet thing

2011-03-04T22:17:00.002+13:00

I did a double take when I walked past the internal garage door late this afternoon. The reason for this is that my next door neighbor finally lost patience with having to sweep out his garage every morning. You see, he operates a sign writing business from his garage & the detritus from his Magnolia tree is not very conducive to attaching decal type signs to vehicles, which 90% of his trade is.

To be honest, I'm not really upset about losing the tree. Yes, Magnolia's are beautiful, but only if they are in the middle of a field, some considerable distance from the nearest house. When you have a 50 footer that is not much more than 10 feet away from 2 houses, its a pain. The branches, until I pruned them have rubbed the paint off a substantial part of my garage roof. The leaves don't exactly help when they clog the guttering up most of the time either. So, I'm not sad to see it go. I won't have to sweep the courtyard so often either. What I will have to do though is split up a whole heap of firewood, because I scored the trunk. Whats even better is that its cut to convenient length & has been stacked on my side of the fence nice & close to my wood bin. I don't know how good it will be, but I have plenty of Pin Oak & kiln dried pine to mix it with, so it should be fine. It will all keep Jude warm for the winter anyway, which is all that really matters to me.

We are now giving Jude 2 different tablets for different reasons via her peg tube. One lot we dissolve & put through at the start of her morning meal. The other, Amitryptelene, we give her as she goes to bed at night. The early one is no problem as it all gets flushed through with her feed, but the evening one has taken a bit of sorting. See, the Amytrip doesn't dissolve all that readily, so we have taken to putting it into about half a syringe full of water at least an hour previous to her bed time. If you draw air in as well, it allows you to give it a vigorous shake to dissolve it properly when you are ready to administer it. The other thing that I figured out today & did for the first time tonight, is put enough air into the syringe to flush all the liquid through the PEG tube. Common sense I know, but it took me a few days of worrying about her not getting a full dose to come up with it.

I'm glad it's not just me. I have been really worried about a lack of energy & a general lethargy for the last week or so. I've wondered at it's cause. Depression, the weather, altered medication have all crossed my mind. It's been really bad. All I have wanted to do is sleep. So I have. Nothing has changed but at least I'm not alone. Jude's caregiver told us that she feels the same way as well. If I can summon the will power & actually drag myself to do something, I'm OK, but it is really difficult to even summon the energy to take the dog for a walk in the mornings. That I do grit my teeth & do. She gets really disappointed if I don't & it's good for my health as well. Or so the Doctor tells me anyway.

The air that I breathe

2011-03-03T21:43:00.002+13:00

Well, its been an eventful week. As well as our visitors on the weekend, we had an appointment with the Neurologist on Monday. We got given some news there that I am going to have to pass on to Judes kids, so forgive me if I don't share it here until I've told them. Needless to say I'm not looking forward to doing it & it is, at the moment added stress that I don't need.

Jude is starting to become more & more reliant on her BIPAP, both during the day & also at night. Physically, she is getting very unsteady on her feet, can't dress herself & can't even roll on to her side when she goes to bed. We are, I think, both starting to get a little scared. WE do have very good help around us, but it's not there 24/7. Most times , its just Her & I. I'm hoping that cooler weather will bring some relief for us both, but I'm not holding my breath. Neither is Jude. She is actually having difficulty getting enough air into her system anyway without interrupting the flow in any way.

Hands Across The Water.

2011-02-27T23:11:00.003+13:00

OK, so I used that caption on my Face Book page as well, but I really can't think of a more appropriate title. We have had the pleasure of the company of international guests for a very hectic 24 hours.

Not just any international guests, mind you. We had Cory & her husband Rob with us. Cory is the niece of my dear Texan friend Kathy, with whom I have corresponded in one form or another for the last 45 odd years. Cory & Rob are lovely people. Right from the first hug across the barrier at the airport, I knew we were going to get along fine. I think the only time the 3 of us stopped talking was when we finally collapsed exhausted into bed last night. We had a blast. I took them for a drive up the Kauarenga Valley & stopped for a swim at what is, in my estimation, one of the most beautiful fresh water swimming holes in New Zealand, complete with a cliff to jump off at different heights. Rob, to his credit, did launch himself from the mid range ledge. Cory & I discovered pressing engagements at the other end of the pool.

The nicest thing about it , I think, is that for just a little while, I could relax, & do something normal in good company. Sadly, Hoffman's Pool is out of the question for Jude now as it is a fairly rough track to get there. Lying back in the water brought back some lovely memories of times past when we used to go there to relax. Sadly, our time together had to end all too soon as they had reservations to fly to Queenstown to do some tramping, but they will be back for a few days at the end of their trip, so hopefully we will be able to spend some time on the water & include Jude this time, so , for now, its Haere Ra, Haere Ra & Haere Mai Haere mai.

I'm getting concerned for myself. I'm starting to find simple pleasures in life out of such mundane things as hanging out the washing & doing the odd spot of gardening. I've thought about this a fair bit & I think that the main factor is time. When you work, things like gardening & washing are chores that you rush through so that you can get on with the main business of relaxing in your leisure hours. I don't have that problem now. Our back yard is a quiet & gentle place where mostly all you hear is bird song. While I'm there, the little dog is generally busy snuffling round, either very carefully picking flowers or rosehips & eating them, hunting for God knows what in the garden, or lying down crunching a bone. Either way, its relaxing. If I'm weeding, which to tell the truth I really don't enjoy, she is right there with me investigating every clump of grass that comes out. I enjoy pruning the roses now as well. It gave me great satisfaction tonight to bring in a modest bunch of red & white roses to put in a vase for her to enjoy. I know she loves them so.

Healthwise, she has stabilised somewhat; I think the cooler weather is helping a bit. She even managed the trip to the airport & back without too many visible signs of distress, although I must admit that I did enjoy my afternoon snooze as well. She has an appointment with the neurologist tomorrow afternoon, the first in a while. I think that traumatic as it has been, she has stabilised at the next level of her illness & I guess we will both just have to get used to it. It's not easy though.....

The Nutty Gritty of it all

2011-02-23T21:50:00.001+13:00

Its absolutely dreadful what has happened in Christchurch. It's very hard to get your head around the mortality of it all & just how ephemeral human life is. My heart does really go out to the folk in Christchurch. I will admit that I have got to the point where I prefer not to watch the news any more. It all has a depressing sameness about it all.

Anyway, with all due respects, I feel at the moment that I have enough problems on my own plate at the moment. Things are starting to get a bit scary for both of us. Jude is starting to have serious problems with her breathing & is also getting very frail. I'm having problems dealing with it. Watching the one you love most in the world fighting for breath with a look of genuine panic in her eyes because she can't express herself has to be the absolute pits when it comes to experiences. Closely followed of course by the feeling of powerlessness when you can't do anything to help her.

At the beginning of all this, I blithely assured myself that I would find the strength to cope with everything as it came to pass. but I'm finding it more & more difficult to get by each day. One of the hardest things I think is that at a time that is proving to be difficult, a dear friend & confidante has left the country. I can still talk to her on line, but it isn't the same as a sit down over a cup of coffee. On the bright side, we are anticipating the arrival of some new Friends from the states on Saturday. Also today, I made a good contact to get me out doing a few music gigs again. I have the room in the garage now to set up my gear, so all I have to do now is get motivated enough to not only do it, but also get my head in the right space to sit & practice for half an hour a day. Watch this space.

Hot nights feeling shitty

2011-02-20T20:09:00.004+13:00

It's still far too hot. At least at night there is a vestige of cooler weather, with the faintest hint of a breeze when I walk the dog late at night. Even Fattums has condescended to come on the odd occasion, much to the little Whippy Dog's concern. Last night was dreadful. For one, the dog got it into her head that she had to sleep between my pillows. Yes she does sleep on the bed. No I'm neither apologising for it or making excuses. The worst thing about hot nights is that it makes it even harder for Jude than usual. As it is she is quite noisy at night, but I have mostly gotten used to it, but the heat makes it a lot harder than usual for her. She is finding it really difficult even though she doesnt say anything. I can tell that it's doing her hard, because she has noticeably less energy during the day. The BIPAP during the day is working well. We went to see the Respiratory Specialist on Thursday. Struck a different guy than we have had in the past with a new take on stuff. He has prescribed an asthma inhaler for her. Not because of any help with her lungs, but because it helps dry her mouth out. The irony is that she is now on 3 different drugs, all prescribed because of their side effects.

I'm living in a state of excitement & expectation at the moment. I have a dear friend in Texas who, though we have written to each other since our early teens, have never met. her niece & her husband though, are coming to New Zealand next Saturday & are coming to stay with us for a few days. Can hardly wait.

I guess I will have to clean up a bit though. I have left sweeping the courtyard as the Magnolia tree that causes 90% of the mess was supposed to be coming down last week. Not before time either. Although they are very beautiful, the only place they should be grown is out in the middle of a paddock. Not where their branches overhang the roofs & yards of 2 houses. I won't be sorry to see it go. My vege garden is amazing me. The tomatoes have now grown higher than the stakes, with some beautiful trusses of fruit forming. I have pruned all the lower foliage right back in an effort to get as much sunshine onto the fruit as I can. I'm hopeful that I will get at least some fruit off them before winter sets in. Everything else, including the weeds is growing as well. I do pick away at it it most days, so it doesn't look too bad. That is if you squint & look over your left shoulder....

Summer Nights

2011-02-08T09:40:00.002+13:00

Can somebody please turn the thermostat down ? It's way too hot & sticky for both of us. Jude especially is having a lot of difficulty with it, needing both the fan & the evaporative cooler going all day to cope. Even with them, she is still getting a lot of phlegm on her lungs. We have tried Robitussin Chesty, but that doesn't seem to help. On another MN sufferers blog, we have found out that he uses his BIPAP for a couple of hours before bed, which helps break down the stringy bits in his chest & makes it easier for him to get rid of it, so we have tried that & yes, it works. The other thing that is helping is a nightly Amitryptelene tablet. It seems to help break down the phlegm & the soporific effect also helps her get a good nights sleep. Just remember, that if you are putting it through a PEG tube, that it needs a good half hour or more to dissolve in water. What I do is put the tablet into the syringe, half fill it with water & sit it upside down in a glass so it doesn't run out.

The garden is thriving. So are the weeds. I'm hopeful that with light showers forecast for today that it will get cool enough for me to be able to get out & start emptying out some of the pots around that only have weeds in them. My ultimate aim is to get round the shade house tidied sufficiently so that Jude can get out there in her wheelchair & potter round a bit if she wants to. There must be something wrong with me. I'm actually starting to enjoy doing a bit of gardening...

RIP, Gary Moore

2011-02-07T10:48:00.001+13:00

Another one for the great Blues Band in the sky. We gonna miss you mate...

How does your garden grow ?

2011-02-03T10:03:00.003+13:00

If it's anything like mine at the moment, like a damn rocket. Those of you that are actually paying attention will remember when I planted everything in my vege garden. My tomato plants are nearly a metre high already & have got fruit formed. Sage & parsley are useable & I'm having trouble keeping up with my Kos lettuces. Mind you , there is a down side to this. The weeds are growing at the same rate. A friend has given me a surefire natural spray for Oxalis, (2 tablespoons of bicarb of soda per litre of water) & it works, so I have been hanging off hoeing until the wind died enough to try it. I think the fact that the air feels like the inside of a green house at the moment probably has something to do with this.

A dear friend sent us this link Written by a gentleman who also has MND, though from the tone of his writing, he is more advanced than Jude in some respects. We have gotten some really good hints & advice from it, So its definitely worth a look. Other than that, Jude is holding her own (just) although we are both praying for a drop in temperature & humidity. Winning llotto would be nice as well.

Come for a walk.....

2011-01-28T11:33:00.024+13:00

Me & the little Whippy Dog go for a half hour walk every morning. We thought you might like to come with us..... The first bit is up our driveway.. It's always a good place to start I suppose.. I normally let her choose which way to go at the end of the drive. She normally turns right, because that is by far the most interesting way to go.

Invariably our first stop is next door, because thats where Woofy lives, & Woofy just adores the little Whippy dog...

We carry on up the hill. This fellow always says "good morning " to us in a big gruff voice. I don't know his name, because we haven't been formally introduced yet..

This is where Rosie lives. Rosie is a very enthusiastic Red Kelpie. She wasn't home this morning, but some morning when she is, I will try to get her to sit still enough to take her photo. This is her mate, Blue, who takes a very indifferent view of little Whippy Dogs....

We carry on up the hill till we get to the old concrete bridge . From there the walk gets pretty as we follow the creek up through a newly established native tree reserve.

Then comes the Whippy Dog's favourite bit. We come out into about 5 acres of reserve. There are all manner of interesting things here for a little dog to sniff at....

Dad to check on every once in a while Horses to look at across the valley...

Up the steep driveway that makes Dad gasp
& wheeze & say rude words....

This is a ginger cat that swore at the little dog
& swatted her nose, thus proving that ginger
cats are the same all over... Attitude.......

The top at last

This pic shows the Race Course in the fore ground with the Waihou river behind & some of the gardens with the beautiful Hauraki Gulf as a back drop..

More of the town & the Gulf & our friend Joy's house..

The race course & on down the hill,....

Last straight heading for home & across the bridge...

Along to Aunty Irises place. She is nice. she gives us bones for the Whippy Dog...... Back into our street at last !

And home at last.. Are your feet sore ? Are you ready to sit down & relax over a cup of coffee? Have you got a good honest sweat up ? Yes to all 3 for me. The benefits ? A happy little dog, the knowledge that I have gotten some good exercise in & a nice clear mind ready to face whatever the day should choose to throw at me. Yes, we both enjoy our morning walk. We hope you have as well.

The rain, the Park & other things

2011-01-25T10:21:00.002+13:00

We've had a few days rain here. Other parts of the country got a bit of a hammering what with floods & all, but we had it relatively good here. It was good steady rain that has really soaked in & is doing the vegetables a power of good. Sadly, the lawns & the weeds seem to have found new purpose as well, but hey, thats OK I guess. Give me something to do at the very least. The little dog is not, I have found, terribly enamoured of weather, having to be physically dragged out of the house on her lead if there is more than a heavy mist in the air. Once past the end of the drive, she will plod along with dogged determination, making it plain to all & sundry that she is NOT enjoying herself even though she is off the lead. As compensation, I took her up the hill to the park, where she usually gallops around sniffing all sorts of interesting smells, but noooo.. Not when its raining.. All the grass means when its raining is that you get your belly wet as well as your back. As for any potty stops ? Surely you jest sir. Damn she can save it up, but everything started working again with a vengeance yesterday morning. Today it was back to being interested again. Lots of places to stop & sniff that she had been too miserable to give attention to in the last few days. We have a small creek at the back of us, that lately has been that low that it hardly seemed to be flowing at all, with lots of green weed in it & all the detritus that uncaring folks seem to throw over their back fence rather than dispose of it properly. Its now flowing briskly on its way to the river, with the stream bed nice & clear & clean again, looking quite rejuvenated.

Sadly, the humidity is back. I don't enjoy it & it knocks Jude about rather badly. It hurts to see her struggling for air. The new cooling fan is a help, but bed times haven't been all that pretty lately. We have an appointment with our doctor on Wednesday to see if he can recommend something to clear the phlegm from her lungs, Joan from Hospice Waikato due in this afternoon, Sally the physio coming Thursday & a massage with Val on Friday. We have only just gotten back to going to Val. We used to go all the time before we went down South & it just sort of slipped by when we got back. Too much of everything else I guess.

We had a good weekend. Chris & Melanie, Jude's youngest son & his wife, came down & stayed Saturday night. It was his birthday, & they were good enough to come down & spend it with his Mum. They are being very supportive, which is wonderful. Well, I better go. precious pot plants to bring in now they have had their drink of rain, Mealybugs to spray for on a couple of them, tomato plants to tie up & cabbage tree leaves to rake up ready to mow the lawns when they dry out. Who said retirement was a life of leisure?

Covers worth Listening to

2011-01-22T10:03:00.002+13:00

I originally hit Youtube looking for Bob Dylan singing "Just like Tom Thumb's Blues," but it's not there. I really wanted to share it with you so I went looking through the covers. I was drawn, strangely enough to the Grateful Dead's version, but they were really stoned (surprise surprise) & the camera work was, at best, erratic. So I stumbled onto Brian Ferry. Not an artist I have ever really listened to for no particular reason, just never got around to it. Imagine my surprise to find that he has covered Dylan fairly extensively. First is JTTB. An incredibly moving & , to me, extremely desolate song that brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. Ferry does a masterful version. Enjoy....

Next on the list is Positively 4th Street. Dylan wrote this when he was going through a particularly messy break up with Joan Baez & it's a particularly bitter song. Baez retaliated with "Diamonds & Dust." A somewhat gentler & remonstrative reply. Once again, a very faithful & sensitive rendition of this song.

Speaking of faithful,(Like the segue there !) I found this by Marianne Faithful herself. I have a lot of time & admiration for her. She managed to recover from a very severe downward spin in her life & come back to be even better than she was. I just love her rich smokey, nightclub too many cigarettes voice that is somehow reminiscent of a glass of 30 year old Artillery Port sipped slowly on a warm summers evening.. Enjoy

Reflections on Serendipity

2011-01-17T08:31:00.002+13:00

The word serendipity, so we are led to believe, is one of the hardest words in the English language to translate. It owes its origins to the old Persian name for Ceylon, Serendip, which I think is a much nicer name than Sri Lanka, Don't you ? It has come to mean over the years the art of finding something that you aren't looking for, or didn't know was lost.

Just over 12 months ago, Jude lost her engagement ring. She was very upset about this. Out of all proportion to the monetary value of it. You see, when we got married, we were on a very tight budget & couldn't afford an engagement ring, so a few years went by before we could afford one. We got this particular ring from a lady in Pukekohe. It wasn't incredibly expensive, but it was very pretty & it just felt "right." haven't you ever bought something that just felt right? So, the sentimental value far outweighed the monetary value. You can imagine then how distressed Jude was to have lost it. Not that we didn't search diligently for it you understand. In fact, we turned the house upside down looking for it. I even resorted to taking all the u bends out & checking them, but to no avail. We have both made half hearted searches both on line & in shops for a replacement, but nothing seemed right, so we went without, but I don't think Jude ever stopped feeling bad about losing it.

So, here we were yesterday afternoon, sitting in the lounge, sheltering from the heat & thinking up excuses as to why we weren't doing anything when Colleen breezes in. Colleen is Jude's caregiver. She is also a long standing dear personal friend & the most infuriatingly kind hearted & optimistic sweetheart you could wish to meet. So in she comes looking brighter & cheerier than normal." Have you guys lost a ring?" says she. "Why yes we have ," says us, ( really just me saying it with Jude nodding her head vigorously) so she opens her hand & there is Jude's ring!

Turns out that some time ago, Jude lent Colleen her jar of ring cleaner & Colleen had only gotten around to using it yesterday. On giving it the customary shake, she heard it rattle. Investigation showed Jude's ring nestling safe & sound therein. So everybody's happy. Colleen is happy because she has made a friend happy. Jude is happy because she has her treasured ring back & I'm happy because she is happy.

Now if somebody could find the thermostat & knock back the temperature & the humidity.......

Not much change

2011-01-14T17:26:00.002+13:00

It's still bloody hot. Well actually, more humid than hot, & I don't like humid. Jude is firmly ensconced in front of the tellie watching tennis. Me , I spend a lot of time watching paint dry, or grass grow. Not a big fan of tennis really, but it delays installing the new point & click games I have been given, thus keeping her occupied for a lot longer. I took her to the doctors yesterday. It seems she has been having dizzy spells since before Xmas. She didn't want to worry me ! Therefore she didn't tell me. So here was I fretting my heart out because I thought she was going downhill fast. Its a hardy annual argument/discussion that we have from time to time. i can't help her if she doesn't tell me what is wrong. The doctor seems to think that it might be due to electrolytic imbalances in her blood, so we have had blood tests done & should find out Tuesday or so.

As you know, I have been gardening lately. I keep telling myself that its good for the soul. I might even believe it soon. My little vegie garden has got useable parsley already & the cos lettuces are very close to being able to clip the odd leaf for a salad as well. I spent about half an hour outside, putting up a runner wire for the grapevine, running a hoe through my vegie garden to get rid of the Oxalis, (A never ending job) & having a look in the shade house to see what is in there in pots that I can transplant into the gardens. There is quite a bit actually. That I guess will be the next task. Its really quite pleasant out there now that the grape vine has grown enough to provide pleasant summer shade. All I need to do is empty some of the pots to improve access. Its actually quite pleasant out there with a little dog dutifully trailing behind & one of the Ginger Ninja's in attendance, (Fattums of course) strictly in an administrative role of course.

It aint half hot mum......

2011-01-08T15:57:00.002+13:00

Damn but its hot here. I have actually refilled the spa pool & kept the temperature down to about blood warmth level, just to cool off. Jude has been doing it very hard. She has actually resorted to using her BIPAP machine during the day, but its awkward. Very difficult to either read or watch telly while wearing it. On Attilla's suggestion, I went looking for a dehumidifier, but with no joy. I did however find just purely by chance at the Red Shed, A thing called an evaporative cooler. Basically, you put ice & cold water in the top & cool air gets blown out the bottom. It helps immensely, for which I am very grateful as she was finding it very hard to cope..

We have had Chris & Melanie staying with us for a few days. Its been an absolute delight. Mel is one of these folk who just have to be doing something all the time. It's been wonderful. The washing has been done, hung out, brought in & folded, the kitchen gets miraculously tidied. All those hundred & one jobs that you don't realise how much you share until one of you is too ill to play their part. Christopher came down to help me tidy up the garden. Its been that hot, that we have just dashed out in the early evening to get about an hours worth done. Its been enough though. The gardens are now cleared to the point where I can see what I'm doing. I'm not sure what I'm going to plant in them though, but ground cover is going to be fairly high on my list, I don't like weeding.

But, they have gone home now sadly, so its back to the grind again. I guess I better go. Vegetables to water, Sherman to put away, washing to bring in, tea to cook, sweat to drip. God, I lead a busy life..

Oh, P.S.

2011-01-04T15:20:00.003+13:00

We got a pleasant surprise when we came back from Auckland at Xmas.. A sort of a late Christmas present I guess you could say. This was in bloom. pretty isn't it ? And, like all cacti, ephemeral. It only lasted a day or two, but absolutely stunning while it did.. Enjoy..

Oh, & a dear friend sent me this one suggesting I should modify Sherman accordingly... Cute Cwnda, cute...

Grow dammit...

2011-01-04T11:46:00.003+13:00

I've been procrastinating over my vege garden, but have finally got my act together. Bout a week or so ago, I hauled & heaved a trailor load of weeds out of it. Its not a very big garden as you will see, so you can imagine how overgrown it was. Last week I zapped all the regrowth weeds with me old mate, a glycophosphate weedkiller. Today I really bit the bullet. out came the trusty rake to level it all out & aerate it a bit, then opened one of my compost bins & spread 3 good wheelbarrow loads of good, rich black compost. Then off to the garden center.

I made it quite clear to Jude that all we were buying this trip was vegies. She is a bugger for buying stuff to put in the main garden, putting it down somewhere & when I find it, its past redemption. Having given a lot of thought to what i wanted to plant, we set forth. With Jude in her wheelchair,(Stops her wandering off looking at stuff) & one small dog in tow we sallied forth amid the bewildering array of plants various & sundry. This is what we ended up with...

As you can see, its not a big garden, but then there is onlyme to feed out of it. The beans on the rack are self sown from last year & the rhubarb just grows regardless of how I ill treat it. Other than that, I,ve got the makings of a good salad I hope. Celery, Silverbeet, (Swiss Chard before you ask Barbara!) Cos lettuce, Tomatoes, Garlic Chives, Parsley, Sage & a first for me, Globe Artichokes. Now it just has to grow.

Of course, I had to have the managing Director to supervise each plant into its hole. Whispas really is a bright spot for both of us with her funny little ways. While I was hanging out washing the other day, she was very carefully picking Hips off Jude's miniature border roses & eating them.. no hope..... Oh yes! we have found that she is rather partial to a dry white wine if its suitably chilled to. She will drink beer, but only under protest if nothing else is available. Even Tigs is easing up on her campaign of terror & so she should. Whispas came to her aid big time when Mac , the German Short haired Pointer from next door was chasing her. Sent him home with a big flea in his ear she did.

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T08:06:00.002+13:00

Well, another damn year done gone. We stayed up & saw it in though. Not a bad effort for a couple of old codgers like ourselves. We toasted it in the traditional way with a very good quality single malt whisky, ( Laphroaigh) Jude had a wee taste & put the main lot through her PEG. Even our little drunkard Dachshund had a tot. I must admit she has expensive tastes though. I keep a bottle of the cheap stuff on hand for things like a tot in the coffee, or a whisky & milk if I fancy it, you get the picture, but she's not interested in that.. Oh no! nothing but the good stuff for our Whispas.

I haven't made any New Years resolutions. I never do if it comes to it. The only thing I would like to do is lose a bit of weight & I'm doing all I'm prepared to in that area already. I think I have enough happening in my life without eating food I don't enjoy & starving myself. Thats my story & I'm sticking to it anyway. I dont know how to do any better concerning my main goal in life, namely caring for Jude, so its pointless speculating in that area anyway.

So Happy New Year to you all. Thank you for your support & your care. It really is appreciated. If you have made any resolutions, how about adding another to the list. That of setting yourself realistic, achievable goals & sticking with them. I have learned that its the little day to day accomplishments that give the most satisfaction in life. So go for it.

Flesh & Blood

2010-12-31T11:58:00.002+13:00

Well, we finally went & done it.. We bought a new DVD player that quite literally brought us into this century. Nothing really wrong with the old one except that I got tired of having to wind it up with a key. No, seriously, all it would play is photo's, MP3 discs & Dvd's. Wouldn't play anything downloaded straight from the puter, & I got sick of the 3 stage conversion process that I needed to go through to play them. So, they were on Boxing day week sale cheap, so we got one. Could have gotten one for $30.00, but decided to do the HDMI thing & lash out on the $90.00 one with an HDMI lead. Glad we did. The quality is so much better.

I like going to see Morty. I always take a flash drive or two & she always fills it up with games & movies. Up till now, the only way we have been able to view them is on the puter. Not now. Our new DVD has a USB port, so we have watched the latest offerings direct from the flash drive. My favourite is definitely the Johnny Cash Documentary. Some beautiful family scenes & awesome music. Thank you Morty. I sat through most of it with tears in my eyes. This track though, made me quite unashamedly cry.... Enjoy....

Well, thats Xmas that was....

2010-12-27T17:33:00.002+13:00

We're home. We stayed a day longer than we intended. Chris & Melanie just made us feel that comfortable that it was easy to do so. Besides, we both had gift cards for a chain of book shops that we don't have in Thames, so we had to go shopping at one of the malls local to up there. A fatal mistake really. We ended up buying all sorts of stuff as well as redeeming our vouchers. That included a 12 place setting canteen of cutlery (Stainless steel) for 1/4 the normal retail price. (Well, you just have to don't you with a deal like that..)

We got some nice presents & had a wonderful time, which lets face it, is what its all about. Whispas was good. Didn't blot her copybook once & also totally ignored Chris & Mel's two guinea pigs & generally impressed everybody with her charm & good manners. Still, its good to be home though. We left early in the morning to dodge the heat, but I think everybody else did as well, as the traffic was quite heavy. So we're home.. Roll on New Years, so I can hoist a dram for Auld lang Syne....

Christmas Blog

2010-12-23T21:16:00.002+13:00

Merry Xmas you lot. Thank you for your support over the year. Its nice to know that there are actually folk out there who actually read what I write. You all obviously know how our years been if you've been reading this. its been a busy year. Jude remains reasonably well & in good heart. We are off to Jude's youngest son's place for Xmas & we are anticipating a wonderful time. So, what ever it is that you are doing to celebrate Xmas, enjoy it. I will leave you with my two usual Xmas songs,, Enjoy & take care..

Kirsty Mac as gorgeous as ever & Shane Mac Gowan at his glorious drunken best.. Enjoy & merry Xmas...

Hello, my name is Whispas..

2010-12-19T22:49:00.002+13:00

And I'm an alcoholic.

We had a cruisy day today. Well, its rained almost all weekend, so what else can ya do? We got half a dozen movies out & have been quietly gnawing our way through them. Today, we didn't even bother getting Jude dressed. We weren't planning on going anywhere anyway. So the inevitable happened. We got visitors. One of the guys that I used to work with & his family to be exact. They came bearing gifts in the form of a bottle of his best home brewed whisky & a sample of his Irish brew, so naturally, I had to reciprocate with a dram or two of my finest Laphroaigh, then a sample of his. He does a nice brew, quite drinkable. We had a lovely time. They had the sense not to stay too long & tire Jude out, & she enjoyed a wee taste of the sacred drop smeared on her gums. Certainly not enough to get drunk on, but enough for her to get the taste anyway.

Whisky isn't usually an after lunch tipple for me, so a nice little lie down after they left was in order. There was nothing worth watching tonight after Joanna Lumley's wonderful programme on The Nile, so we elected to watch another movie. About halfway through, I decided that a wee drop o' whats good for ye was in order, so I elected to sample Tony's Irish brew. Very good it was as well. By this time the little dog, who is feeling much better now , was sitting on my knee. I sorta got engrossed in the movie & the glass came slowly down till my arm was resting on the arm of the chair. Next thing I knew, this long black snoot was in the glass & the tongue got in about 4 good laps before I realised what was happening. I debated tossing what was left in the glass but reason prevailed. They use alcohol to sterilise stuff & why waste good whisky. I could have given the rest to the dog I suppose. She doesn't have as far to fall as I do, but I didn't.

Striking a happy medium...

2010-12-18T21:35:00.002+13:00

I did something tonight that I wouldn't normally do. I went with Jude to an evening with an extremely good & very well known local full trance medium. She has been practicing locally for years & has more or less retired now & has been so for a number of years now as it takes quite a physical toll on her. Jude used to go to her evenings on a regular basis, but I didn't care for it overly much. You see the main spirit channelled is very much into telling us all to adopt full survivalist mode.

Not that I have anything against survivalism you understand. Its just that I choose to prepare for events like that in other ways than hoarding & storing food. To me, knowledge will be of infinitely more value & doesn't deteriorate like food does. Anyway enough of that. I went so that Jude could go. This medium only does one evening a year now, generally at Xmas time, so Jude really wanted to go, so of course, I went too. We pretty much got what I expected, but we got a personal bonus as well. You see, the medium concerned has two main guides, the second one being her healing guide, who is , to say the least of it, a bit of a rough diamond. He had some very personal words of comfort for Jude, which we both found absolutely wonderful. Left us both with tears in our eyes. For Jude to have found a measure of peace is infinitely worth it all.

The little dog had her big operation on Wednesday. I have been guilty of putting it off a bit, but as her sisters are all starting to come in to season, I thought it wise to get it done before Christmas. Would be just our luck for it to happen while away at Chris's place.. Spots of blood everywhere.. Yay...... Anyway she has come through with flying colours. When I picked her up she spent about five minutes telling me how crook she was. But she's been really good. Hasn't picked at her dressings at all so far. She's starting to get her appetite back too. At the moment, she is sitting behind me happily chewing a nice meaty bone.

We've had a decent bit of rain too. Not half hearted heavy mist like we have been having. Real good heavy down pouring rain that soaks into the thirsty dirt, & overflows the spouting, which I haven't emptied the magnolia leaves from yet. It will make the gardening easier too I guess. The next chore is to level out the vege garden, transfer the contents of one compost bin to it, then turn it over. A session with a rake should see it ready to plant. I think I will have to talk to the folk at the plant shop as to what is plantable at this time of year. A kittle of lots of different stuff I think. The rain has also shown me another funny little habit the wee dog has. When she gets wet, she licks herself dry like a cat.. Really funny.

Since you've asked.....

2010-12-14T16:21:00.004+13:00

A comment on my last post, the China Girls one, has asked how Jude spends her day. I think I know who you are but I'm not sure. I would be happy if you would remove all doubt, but if you really want to preserve your anonymity, thats OK as well. Anyway, here goes.

Basically, I just facilitate what ever she wants to do. She spends a lot of time sleeping these days. She has 3 or 4 naps during the day, & is rarely later than 10.00 pm to bed. We have a carer in Monday to Friday to shower her & dress her, as her upper limb strength is now such that she can't lift her arms much above waist level without holding it with the other hand. Her lack of motive ability in her hands also mean that such normally simple jobs as doing up & undoing bra straps is now beyond her capability. A hand held shower that I put over the bath for my mother & a transfer stool are an absolute godsend, making it so much easier to shower her. We are very lucky with our carer in that Colleen is also a very dear friend of ours from before Jude being ill, so I have evry confidence that she is being treated with love, dignity & compassion.

I feed her. At present she has 2 meals of 3 bottles of Fortisip, a liquid food, a day. She has these via her PEG tube administered with a syringe. At this point, she also has however much water she feels she needs via the same way. Very occasionally, she will make herself a strawberry milkshake & sip quietly at about half a glass of that.

Her day is spent mostly either reading, watching TV, or puddling on the computer. She was lucky enough to be granted an electric powered lazyboy chair, which is where she spends her time either reading or watching TV, We also have a TV in the bedroom, so she quite often snuggles up again in bed in the morning, some times watching it, sometimes sleeping again. A very dear friend of ours provides us with a steady diet of point & click games for the computer that are relatively easy physically for her to play. She is also happy to converse on Skype. Our name there is Truckenman, so drop in & say "Hi" Don't be offended if she doesn't answer, because she will probably be playing full screen games.

The little dog is more my mate than hers. Jude definitely belongs to the Ginger Ninja's, & that ius scary territory for a little black dog. Inevitably, if she is sitting or lying down, either one or the other will be either close by, or actually sitting on her lap. As to her mobility, she is still able to get around to a limited degree, but runs out of strength & breath very easily, so if we are going anywhere that involves walking, mall, supermarket, main street etc., then it is far far easier to bundle her into the wheelchair that we carry all the time in Sherman.

Her favourite TV programmes are mainly food, renovation shows & detective series like CSI. OH, not to mention the inevitable vampire series.

AS far as what she thinks is concerned ? Well, probably the best person to tell you that is her, so without further ado, for the first time ever on my blog, here she is.......

i am very blessed with the people who assist me day to day. It is not easy because i am used to doing the careing (i.e.) belonging to F.E.D.s fulfilled that for me. I am coming to terms with my non functioning hands no matter what i do they just won't work like they used to. No more patchwork or quilting and no more gardening. B--------R. So I now use them as much as possible on the computer for crosswords, writing on the computer to fill in my christmas cards, and I read a lot I always used to so that has not changed. I love to go out but I tire very quickly very frustrating. my weight is slowly going down. i have spent most of my life trying to do this very thing, but it is a bit scary just now how to stop it I am blessed with a wonderful family whom I love to bits, they are helping to do things like catching up on the windows that desperately need cleaning. The cleaners that come into your home never do the job properly .makes me very angry . I have the odd thing like shooting pains in my neck that gets on my nerves (actually, I wish they did) I could go on but... I'M FINE. Blessings to you all.

Hi, me here again... Not a lot really I can add to that.. Take care.

My China Girls

2010-12-13T21:01:00.002+13:00

We went for a wander today, me & Jude. It's been a while. You know, like normal people. Park the car wander up & down, go in to shops that take your fancy, that kind of wandering. Except for us, its a little different, what with Jude in a wheelchair now, but it was still nice. We did have a few things to do though. We have been investigating getting Jude either an I Pad, or an A Pad & we wanted to check them out. We found out that nobody in Thames actually sells them yet. They do, however, sell the accessories, which I thought a touch strange. We, or rather I, finally made an appointment with the Vet to get Whispa speyed on Wednesday. I'm not excessively happy about getting it done, but I guess it has to be.

We did a bit of shopping as well. Jude has been a bit on the down side with a couple of things. So we went looking for some nice light summery stuff & ended up at the Sun And Moon. Its one of those Asian emporium sort of shop, but more the higher end of stuff. They import some really nice kit in from Taiwan, but have gravitated towards clothing more since they have opened. Only natural I suppose, frocks sell better than high end Chinese furniture I guess. Anyway, we bought 2 or 3 lovely pieces for Jude & a pair of Polaroid sunglasses that fit over my scrip glasses. It transpired, as it usually does, that an explanation of Jude's condition was in order. So, after the usual exclamations of sympathy, the 3 lady's present had a chat together in Chinese, then started giving her a most wonderful half hour session of acupressure, not only doing it, but explaining what I can do for her as well. What charming people. So nice that you don't mind buying the one or two extra bits they gently pressed on us. They did give us a discount on what we bought, at least I think they did. All that really mattered was that we went home feeling nurtured & a lot happier than when we went out.

Canned Heat.

2010-12-13T08:40:00.002+13:00

Damn its hot. 21 C , 75% humidity, no wind & its only 8.30 AM. My poor little dog has gone from a sausage dog to a hot dog. I may have to give her a cool off under the shower later, even if she doesn't like it. We went away for the weekend to one of Jude's brothers' place in Auckland. They have started having a pre Xmas get together. It was nice & Jude enjoyed, but I think I am in danger of becoming a little reclusive. I am starting to show a marked preference for my own home & routines. If its hot here, I can take my gear off & wander round inside in my undies. If I can't sleep, I can get up & puddle on the puter, or just whatever I feel like doing.

Most of all, I think i was really looking forward to a nice cold shower. Sadly, that didn't happen. because we had been away a couple of days all the water in the pipes was tepid, so that was the best I could do, but it was good to sleep in my own bed again.

Today ?? Well, I have to get new spark plugs for my boat, check the relative merits of Apad & Ipad, get some washing done & on the line,maybe see about getting Whispas speyed, then go home & spend the rest of the day melting. That is, if I can't get the shower cool enough...

Can Ya Dig It ?

2010-12-09T20:46:00.003+13:00

I've finally raised the initiative to start cleaning up the gardens. Well its a bit of a must really. There are quite a few Dockweeds in different places & they are starting to come in to flower. If you have ever had anything to do with Docks That have gone to seed, you will now how prolific the seed crop is, so I have started. I cleared out our vege garden this morning. None of our gardens have had anything much done to them since before we went down South, so you can imagine what they looked like. So, out of our small vege garden I managed to fill our little trailor with quite a respectable load. Well, I did prune the rambling rose with my usual careful slash & burn technique. I didn't do it on my own though. I had my usual little helper with anything I do these days. It's quite amazing really. She takes a very intelligent interest in what ever you happen to be doing. As long as it doesnt involve water that is. She is very firmly of the opinion that water is best confined in taps or orderly streams or bowls to drink out of. Sadly though, once she sussed out the general idea of gardening & had made sue that there was nothing there for her to chase or cause harm to me, she got very bored & had to have a little lie down..

We had an appointment at the respiratory clinic at the hospital today. All our specialists are starting to become like old friends. I'm not sure, but I think that Jude's fortitude sort of sticks in their minds. Certainly, all the hospital staff remember Jude from her FED days & all that see her come over for a hug & a chat . Its lovely to see & I would imagine, heartening for her as well.

SAturday, we are going to Jude's brothers place in Papakura for an early Xmas get together. Brian is going to be doing a big Asian meal, something that he is very good at. I'm not sure how many of that side of the family is going to be there, but all of her kids & grandkids are going to come as well. We're going to stay the night with them. Its always good there . They treat us like royalty. Its good to be spoiled every now & then I think.

No accounting for taste

2010-12-04T10:08:00.002+13:00

As you all know by now, we have acquired our little black & tan Dachshund. She is by nature very nosy. Well, with a beak like that ya gotta be. We have noticed that after I give Jude her PEG feed, she, (the dog, not Jude,) sits & licks my hand, so on a whim this morning, Jude poured out a little Fortisip for her. Dozey bloody animal likes it, vanilla flavour & all ! As I say, no accounting for taste.

Christopher & Melanie are coming down to stay for the weekend. The plan is hopefully to get some fishing done. I hope so, because some big fish have been caught were I fish & its a long time since Chris & I have been fishing together. Will do us both good I think.

We had rain last night. Trust me to have put out all the cushions on the outside furniture yesterday. I'm hoping that the moisture will soak in & soften the ground a bit, as I have resolved to actually bite the bullet & start tidying up the gardens. They all went berserk while we were in the south island & looking at the overall picture is very daunting. Confucious said that the longest journey begins with the first step. I took that step yesterday. I got out the electric hedge trimmer & trimmed the little hedge down the driveway. I also trimmed off about 3 foot of one of my nice long extension leads. After that, I think I need cold alcohol & a nice lie down....

Humble Pie

2010-12-01T21:54:00.002+13:00

Every once in a while, you see something that fills you with admiration. This interview is one such item. This lady has the same disease as Jude does. Admittedly she is a lot younger than Jude is, was probably a whole lot fitter & is less advanced than Jude is, as can be seen by her ability to still talk a little. Even so, I am filled with admiration for her & what she is trying to achieve. Jude & I sat & watched this interview with tears streaming down our cheeks. Please take the time to watch it, & please think about helping her in what she is trying to achieve.

We went over to see Whispas' mum this afternoon. We needed to take the cage back that she loaned us to bring her home in. We had a lovely time & learned a few more things about the breed in general & her in particular. On the way home we stopped in to see Yvonne, an old acquaintance from driving days. As always, I got a lovely warm welcome & a huge hug from her & we had a lovely catch up.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start tidying up the gardens. I know that they are worrying Jude. You see, they have gotten away quite badly since we have been away down the South Island. Looking at them in total is disheartening to tell the truth. I don't actually enjoy gardening. I know some people do. Jude does. I find it distracting & somewhat tedious & boring, although I must admit that the end results are worthwhile, namely Jude being happy. Its a huge job for one person, but I'll do my best. At least I'll have fresh beans to eat. They have regrown in the vege garden in spite of total neglect..

Chris & Mel are coming down for the weekend so that Chris & I can go fishing. That will be a nice distraction from gardening & Jude always loves to see them. They are staying overnight, so Chris & I will no doubt be able to sink a few & forget about the worries of the world for a while. There is always Monday for that.

On morning Tweedles

2010-12-01T07:16:00.002+13:00

I make no apologies for the use of the word "Tweedles" I inherited it from Whispas" breeder. Its the euphemism for attempting to induce our little dog to urinate on the lawn. We have developed quite a morning ritual now. It starts about 6 AM when, from force of habit & a full bladder, I get out of bed. I try to sneak to the toilet so that I can have the morning pee in peace & quiet, but invariably halfway through, there is a dab on the back of my leg from a cold wet little nose. Just one dab is all. Just a "Hi dad, I heard ya & here I am." dab. From there its the bathroom for the morning round of tablets. Then the fun begins...

It starts when I get down on my hands & knees & lasts about 10 minutes, with a little dog careering madly round the house in absolute bliss that we have both made it through another night. When we have both settled down the phrase, C'mon, time for tweedles starts the next phase in the ritual. We head for the back door, where Fattums, one of the Ginger Ninja's is waiting. She leads, we follow. Out through the courtyard pausing only long enough to destroy the nights work of our resident spider. He/she patiently spins a web in the trellis archway leading to the back lawn every night. I very carefully wipe it away with my hand every morning. Either that, or if I am forgetful, wear it draped artistically round my face like some form of arachnid veil. I don't enjoy that so I try to remember to use my hand.

WE have a lovely ten minutes or so on the back lawn. The Starlings resident in the Birch tree make themselves known & express their disapproval at the presence of a cat. Especially the cat that has been responsible for dispatching a significant proportion of their fledglings over the years. But hey, thats nature I guess. Fattums & I then have an in depth conversation about the state of the union, whats on the agenda for the day, a purring demonstration &, most importantly, what I intend to serve her for breakfast.

Whispas meanwhile , has her usual aimless little wander round the lawn. Sometimes she goes "tweedles," sometimes she doesn't. I'm not too stressed these days if she doesn't. She seems to have the whole house thing sorted out now & generally saves it till we go on one of our frequent strolls. Once everything is sorted to Fattums' satisfaction we head off back inside. I put the jug on for the first coffee of the day, put down a variety of tasty morsels for their Ladyships approval, finish making the coffee, then go through & open the lounge curtains.

By then, her houndliness has finished her breakfast & is waiting at the office door for me. I have to wait a few seconds before I can turn my 'puter on. You see, I get preempted by a dog who does her best to push the button that turns the 'puter on. I then settle in for my morning browse, Whispas settles at my feet for her morning nap & who knows what the cat does.

Christopher, Jude's youngest son, is coming down for the weekend. We are both looking forward to it. He & his wife Melanie are going to overnight. The idea is that we are going to go fishing on Sunday morning. Melanie isn't a fishing person though. What I am hoping is that all 4 of us might go for a cruise. Mel has never seen the beautiful islands that we have dotted about the coastline up Coromandel way, so it would be nice to take her. I think Jude would enjoy it as well, but we will see what the weather is like. If the sea is at all lumpy, Chris & I will just go fishing. There are a few things he & I need to chat about & a boat at sea is as good a place as any that I can think of to do it.

Atilla the Hungarian

2010-11-25T20:54:00.002+13:00

We went to meet the new Neurological Nurse at Waikato Hospital yesterday. You see, sadly, Pat Simpson has decided that its time for a change & moved to the Stroke Unit. Their major gain, our major loss. So we went to meet her replacement. His name is Atilla Herman, & yes, he is Hungarian. Even more importantly, he has 25 years experience in the field & comes across as being very competent. Certainly, he had a couple of good suggestions that he threw our way, so we counted it a productive afternoon.

I've been feeling incredibly lethargic over the last few days. It has been taking me all my time to get even the very basic things done around the place, let alone get ahead stuff. Its a vicious circle really. The worse it gets the less I feel like doing it & the less I know where to start. I did take Jude for a walk with her friend Dian this morning though. That is always good for the soul. We started at the wharf & walked as far as the supermarket along the coastal walkway that we now have. Its a wonderful asset & very well used. Lots of folk for us to pass the time of day with & a variety of dogs for Whispas to exchange sniffs with. When we got home, I decided to declare today a rest day & opted to curl up & try to snooze for the day.

I say try, because that's about what it amounted to. Every time I tried to get to sleep the phone would ring. Mostly inconsequential stuff but one of the calls was really bad news. Jude's daughter rang to say that one of her friend's husband had some incredibly bad news today. You see, he has been unwell for a number of months now with stomach pain. When we were there on the weekend, she took him to the hospital twice because the pain was that bad. They finally found out what it is & told them today. Not good news. Pancreatic cancer & less than 12 months to live. They are both in their early 40's & have 4 children, down to a 7 year old daughter. Life can be tough sometimes. pancreatic cancer is very painful & , sadly, inoperable. My heart bleeds for them.

It seems as though tragedy is the order of the day at the moment. Certainly, let us feel for the families of the 29 miners that perished at Pike River Mine. Let us also remember that coal mining is a very hazardous occupation, one that is extremely well paid & also that the men were down there because that was what they liked doing. Let us be thankful that their end was in all probability fairly quick & painless. I realise that this doesn't provide any comfort to the grieving families, but it would certainly be a lot more humane way of dying than counting your days down with your body steadily growing more & more weak & painful. Not that I would really care for either way of death.

Jude is going to Patchwork tomorrow. Hopefully, I will replace the starter cord on the line trimmer & attack the weeds along the driveway. Then there are the lawns to do & the gardens to weed, and..... and.... and... and...

All Gods Chillun's

2010-11-22T20:29:00.004+13:00

We did an overnighter in Albany for the weekend. The reason was our two eldest grand children were having their first communion on Sunday. Now I'm not a Roman Catholic, nor ever have been. I was dragged up in a good old Presbyterian family, but these two little tackers have a nun for an aunty & go to a fairly high end Catholic school, so I guess it really was an inevitability to happen. We took the little dog with us. Aside from distinguishing herself by peeing on the carpet, (shock horror) I don't think she particularly enjoyed herself. Two male Shi Tzu's are bit over the top don't you think? She sorted them out eventually though. Our morning walk was a bit of a mixed bag though. We went a lot earlier than usual. You have to there a bit, because of the traffic. The biggest thing I noticed was how built up it all was. Nowhere at all for a little dog to look for where other dogs had posted their presence. And it was raining. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the walk in spite of it all.

I enjoyed horsing around in the pool with the kids too. Rather belatedly, I remembered how long it has been since i have had a sore back. You know, you have so much going on in your life that an old acquaintance like a sore back can just slip away unnoticed & ride off into the sunset. That is until you are horsing around in the pool with the grandy's & come up with the bright idea of getting them to stand on your shoulders & balance there while you walk around the pool. Awesome fun at the time for all of us, but I woke up this morning thinking, " I've got a sore back... Damn its a long time since I've had a sore back." I don't mind, its gone now & I really enjoy my time with those two kids. We get on really well & have a lot of fun.

Anyway, Sunday morning rolled around with all the inevitability of a downhill steamroller race. The kids looked positively edible don't you think?
Ok, so we all raced off to church & amidst lots of standing up & sitting down, strange (to me anyway) rituals & some exceptionally good music from a very competent youth orchestra & choir, we got to see our little darlings walk solemnly up the aisle with their hands clasped in front of them & partake of their first communion. Although I'm no longer a practicing christian & its been more years than I care to remember since I actually took communion, I still remember the mystical feeling it involves, so it was a very nostalgic feeling watching them. They had a very proud Grandma as well don't you think ?

Attilla the Hun

2010-11-20T11:52:00.003+13:00

We are going to met Attilla The Hun on Wednesday. Well his name IS Attilla & he IS Hungarian, but hopefully thats where the resemblance ends. he certainly didn't threaten ritual disembowelment if we were late for our appointment, so I guess that's a plus. I should explain. Attilla is the new Clinical Nurse taking over from Pat Simpson & he has something like 25 years experience. he sounds like a really nice sort of chap & I am really looking forward to meeting him, quite aside from the fact that he is going to do a complete overhaul of Jude's case & make sure that everything is as it should be. That is really good to know.

HAPPY SOMETHING OR OTHER....

I just thought you should know.. This makes my 500th. post since I have been writing my blog. I guess that has to count for something. Thank you to all those who follow me regularly, past & present & give me the incentive to keep on writing. It means a lot.

Priceless

2010-11-19T07:31:00.004+13:00

I'm trying to write this with a Dachshund curled up on the desk in front of me. Its not easy, as you can see.

I had a good day yesterday. I went fishing. Both our grand children in Auckland are being confirmed on Sunday, so she wanted to go to the Catholic shop & get something suitable for them.This really isn't my thing, but one of her friends who is also a reformed RC offered to take her, so it made for a nice afternoon for them both. I rounded up me new mate Kevin from the dairy down the road & we went fishing instead. This is what I came home with as well as 8 other very nice fish.

It was a bit lumpy out, but it didn't really matter, good company & some nice fish in the bin makes all the difference. I'm going to smoke it this morning, no doubt under Whispas' capable supervision. I'm going to take it up to Auckland with us as my contribution to Sunday lunch. Kind of appropriate really I think Don't you ? I had the best nights sleep last night that I have had in ages. I haven't gone fishing in a while because Jude has just been too tired for it , but bless her, she understands my need to be on the water & our home help who is also a very dear friend is happy to cover & keep an eye on her. It does us both good I think.

We can be heroes

2010-11-12T23:18:00.002+13:00

I've finally plucked up the courage, (& the requisite cash) to go & get a partial plate made to help what is left of my top teeth tear steak & dinosaur bones to bits. Now, I naively, I've never had a denture before, expected that one would just pop the jolly old thing in to place & hey presto, all would be well & life would be rosy. Not so. First your tongue has to get used to having this bloody great slab of acrylic on the roof of its mouth. It actually takes up quite a bit of space, alters your speech patterns & everything. Dunno about eating yet as I haven't managed to chew a mouthful & swallow it yet without it feeling extremely weird. But I will get there eventually I guess. Everybody else does.

While I was doing all this, I also took Jude in to get her top plate refitted as with her weight loss it was way too big. Naturally, we had to explain what was up with Jude to explain her low tolerance to things like half a cup of goo & fingers in her mouth. The practise is run by a mother & daughter combo in company with a very cute 6 month old baby & a sassy Chihuahua. The mother lost her husband who used to run the pracice about 3 years ago to cancer under very tragic circumstances. The daughter is now qualified as a technician & Mum does the fittings.

I was rather taken aback, lost for words & very teary eyed this morning. You see, not only did they present me with my teeth, but also with a huge bunch of flowers, for being in their words, "A very brave man." Coming from them, that was a real tribute that I'm not really certain that I deserve.

Bitter Sweet

2010-11-04T21:10:00.002+13:00

I changed my mobile phone provider from Vodafone to 2 degrees recently. Taint no biggy, nobody will be going broke or making a fortune, because I'm on prepaid & mainly just use it for text messages. Sadly, in the form of a trap for young players, I neglected to transfer my phone numbers from my SIM card to the handset. I should explain that I took the option of retaining my existing number. Much more straight forward right ? Yep, except that when you switch to two degrees, your old sim card is disabled, so I have been reloading everybody's number. If you have my cell number incidentally, please drop me a TXT so I can get your number again. Anyway, i got to the point of sorting out my Darlings cell number. There was a number on our house phone, but I wasn't sure if it was the right one, so I rang it to see. It wasn't. It was her old number. An old Telecom one that still had an answerphone message on it that she recorded when she could still talk. I've listened to it about 3 times now, just to hear her talk the way she used to. Happy & cheerful & beautifully spoken. I don't know that I should really listen to it again.

I don't often dream & I usually have difficulty remembering them, but I had one that I vividly remembered last night. I had finally lost my Darling & we were in church for her funeral. Everything was white. The floor, the walls, our clothes, even the ones that Jude was wearing, & the coffin. Then we all got up, went forward & all put the most beautiful white roses in the coffin with her. That was when I woke up, probably just as well. I told her about it this morning & we both stood & held each other & cried for quite a while. It did take me a while to get back to sleep after I had it, so I just laid there for an hour or so pondering on the meaning. I'm still not really any the wiser, just a little sadder. I had a heart to heart with Whispas about it this morning while we were out walking. She didn't really have a lot to say on the subject, just gave me one those ineffably wise looks & went off in search of a quail family in the park.

She had an appointment with the respiratory clinic today. Our specialist is a really nice guy with a really natty range of bowties that his wife apparently makes for him. We had quite a chat about Jude's VPAP machine & what could be done to make it a little more user friendly. He is going to check. That & shopping for new nighties, talking to our Hospice Waikato worker & a visit from the district nurse sort of took up most of the rest of the day. I'm hopeful that i will be able to get into some of the jobs that have been piling up. I've looked forward to retirement for a long time, looking forward to increased leisure time. I don't think I have ever been so busy in my life.

Brown Eyed Girl

2010-11-02T23:13:00.002+13:00

Thats our Whispas. She is gradually settling in. We left her home on her own today as we both had a couple of appointments & it really was too warm a day to leave her sitting in the car. She coped OK, although we did have quite a heart to heart talk when we got home the first time. One of the things I had to do today was to go & have the first impression made for my new top plate. A different experience to say the least of it. You get this bloody great plastic thing that feels like half a shoe box full of cold runny goo shoved in your gob. The worst part is that when pressure is applied to make the mold, the excess runs out the back & settles on either side & on top of your tongue. While it is still soft, its not particularly pleasant but it soon sets. had the first wax plate this afternoon. Feels strange, but I guess I'll get used to it, especially if it means being able to chew my food better than I have been able to until now.

Having a dog is proving to be a good thing for me. It actually gives me an incentive to establish a routine. I now get all my morning chores done by about 9.00 o'clock & then take the snossidge dog for a walk. I'm finding all sorts of delightful places & people around the place that I haven't encountered before. Hopefully getting somewhat fitter is a bonus. My latest find is a delightful little park up the hill a bit complete with a family of quails that don't seem to mind being chased in a half hearted sort of way by a small dog.

I've finally got the lawns back how I like them. Tomorrow I will fire up the Mighty Atom edge trimmer & do the finishing touches. Then its weed spraying, then its weeding the vege garden & hopefully planting something edible. Oh, we have some dear friends coming to visit tomorrow afternoon. Who said retirement was a breeze....

The Electric Chair is here...

2010-10-31T17:36:00.002+13:00

Seriously, we now have an electric chair in the house. OK, so its actually an electric wheel chair, but you have to admit the headline grabbed your attention didn't it ? It arrived on Friday & its quite a beauty. Four speeds, reclineable & you can raise & lower it so that Jude can reach stuff a bit higher. It apparently has a range of some 30 kilometers, which will let Jude visit all of her friends in town & even get as far as the supermarket if she wishes to. The only problem is, that the nice folk who brought it over from Hamilton left the battery charger behind, so as it only has a minimal charge in it, she can't really use it until they send the charger over on Monday.

Whispas, our new family member, is settling in very nicely. I finally dragged my sorry butt out to make up the bit of fence that I needed to shut off the back yard to keep her safe today. I looked round for my carpenters pencil to mark a bit of wood for the cut & here she is very solemnly holding it in her mouth. Why is it you never have a camera when you need it? She would be the most naturally inquisitive dog I think I have ever had anything to do with. Doesn't matter what you are doing, she wants to be a part of it. She is quite happy as well, to just lie in your lap & snore of an evening. It's going to be very difficult even to give her up for the couple of days needed to have her speyed, but I guess we will all get through it OK.

Tuesday, I am finally doing something about getting a top plate made so that I can actually chew properly again. Its going to be quite a novel experience for me. I forget how many years it is now since I have had a reasonable set of gnashers in my top jaw. Well, thats about it . Tomorrow I guess I might even mow the lawns. All this exercise definitely improves your outlook on life. Mostly

We've got a Dog !

2010-10-22T19:49:00.002+13:00

Not just any dog, but a lovely little 2 year old female Dachsund. She has won a couple of trophy's at shows, but is too small for breeding so we are the lucky recipients. Her full name is Dacksford Wispas N Laughter, called Wispas. She is a good little mate who is bonding nicely with us already. She walks well & promises to be an utter joy. Now all we have to do is convince the cats of this...

How much is that doggy in the window?

2010-10-20T21:21:00.002+13:00

I've decided that I need another dog in my life. Cats are fine, but you can't load them into the car & take them to the beach for a swim. Well I mean, you probably can but I don't think it would be a happy experience for any of the parties involved. I have been haunting Trade me & pets on the Net, but i think that i am at a real disadvantage not living in Auckland, because thats where most of them are & that's where they want them to stay. All i want is a smaller dog, preferably about 3 or 4 years old thats grown out of the stupid stage & doesn't chew stuff or pee on the carpets any more.

I may have found one at our local SPCA. He's a little miniature Foxie. He wandered into the council offices in Paeroa & effectively gave himself up. He's been in the pound for the requisite 7 days & is now up for adoption. He's getting his little nuts cut out & getting microchipped tomorrow, so I think I might take him on 7 days trial. It all depends on how he gets on with the Ginger Ninja's really. He's quite smart, so I don't think it will take him long if he doesn't already know that cats are bad juju.

Why do I want a dog ? Companionship mainly & an excuse to actually get out & do some exercise in the form of walking. We think this little man is about a year old, so he should be mostly over the stupid stage. Well anyway, I guess we will find out. There is another little dog we have been told about locally, but we haven't heard, so I guess thats not really a good sign. Time will tell anyway I guess..

Cough Please...

2010-10-14T15:51:00.002+13:00

I think I caught it in Dunedin. Certainly my eldest son & his family all have it. A real shitty cough that you get for a week or so. It goes away, then comes back again just when you think you're fine. It's very debilitating in the end. I think I have had it back about 4 times & this time it really seems to have settled in. So much so that I went to the doc's today. He's given me a course of fast track anti biotics, so hopefully, that will clear things up. It's very difficult to enjoy retirement when all you want to do is sleep all day. At least I can do it without any guilt trips about letting a boss down by not being at work. That's one good thing I guess.

Meanwhile, Jude remains disgustingly healthy, albeit glued to the telly for the Commonwealth Games. I haven't watched much at all except for the seven's rugby. It's a principle for me. I find it scandalous that a country with so much grinding poverty & social problems can throw so much money at a feel good thing like the games. Anyway, normal service will resume tomorrow night... I can't wait... Sharpe, Sea Patrol......

We are going through the process of applying for funding to get our big bathroom converted to a proper wet area for Jude at the moment. Its quite a lengthy thing with lots of paperwork. Fortunately, our Occupational Therapist is a darling & very helpful, so fingers crossed I guess. Will let you know how we go.

It wasn't as much of an issue while we were away, but I am slowly coming to terms with the food situation, not having to buy so much in the way of grocries etc. The most important thing & also the hardest is actually making sure that I have at least one nutritious meal a day that includes the odd bit of greenery & fibre. I am getting there, eventually.

I'm Retired. Do it yourself

2010-10-12T09:43:00.003+13:00

I bought a Tee shirt some time ago with this message printed on it. half in jest it was. but it's slowly dawning on me that it is actually true. Well, the bit about being retired anyway. OK, so all it means is that I don't have to seek paid employment any more, or go through means testing, but effectively, thats it. Quite a sobering thought when it all starts to sink in. I don't feel old enough for it in a lot of respects & in others I feel way overdue. Now, what am I going to do with all this leisure ? Hmmmm... Ok, so there are lawns to mow, concreting to be done, gardens to weed, edges to be trimmed, Sherman to wash, housework to do & most importantly Jude to care for.. Hmmm... What'll I do first ? I dunno, maybe I should just think about it till tomorrow.. Yeah, & theres the garage to sort out & the courtyard to tidy.........

Oh yes !!! Its good to know that its not just silly old drunken buggers that fall down while running. This from this mornings Herald...

I feel her pain......

Ground Control to Major Tom

2010-10-10T10:03:00.002+13:00

Well, we have been home a couple of weeks or so now & had a weekend with the kids in Auckland for Jude's birthday which was good.. Well, its official. Jude is now registered as a superannuitant & I am registered as (get this!!) her underage partner ! Financially, we are a bit better off than we were but I guess the GST increase will make heavy inroads into this. All the bills are still here. Power & Phone demanding to be paid or else.. Doesn't matter that you have paid your bill early for the last 2 years or more, get behind when you are on holiday & they just about turn the Beadles loose on you. Oh yes. The rate bill is here as well. missed the rebate on that as well.

I suppose I didn't notice any gradual change being away, but Jude has deteriorated somewhat with her physical abilities & her energy levels, leaving more for me to do. I suppose its because I have had one of those bloody awful recurring colds with that hacking cough since we left Dunedin, but I don't feel up to much. By the time I catch up on the washing & housework I've had enough, so the stuff like lawns, weeding, sorting out the garage, washing Sherman etc., etc., just sorta take a back seat. meanwhile, my neighbor has gone fishing. I should envy him, but I don't. Too damn tired to worry. I guess I'll come right eventually. The situation isn't helped by Prime TV being taken over for the commonwealth games. I didn't realise how much of my evening TV is on Prime. I think I need to ring my old mate Hawkeye for a good old fashioned dose of harden the fuck up. That may help.

Oh yeah, Jude & I both had appointments with the Orthopaedics specialist on Thursday, her for her knee, me for my arm. The only solution for Judes knee is a complete replacement, but after talking to a friend that was there who had her knee done in May, she confirmed what she has already pretty much decided. The knee can stay as it is. Me ? I'm coming right, arm is healing nicely, it was better to leave it out of the sling rehabilitation wise & the chances of any complications are slim to remote. Oh, & it should stop hurting in another 2 or 3 months. Lesson learned.

Happy Birthday my love

2010-10-07T21:40:00.005+13:00

I felt like an axe murderer. Only home 5 days & here we are packing to leave again. OK, it was only for the weekend, but try & rationalise that to a very upset ginger cat watching you drive away. The occasion? Jude's 65th birthday last Sunday. Judes daughter, Sharon opted to put on a birthday party for her Mum. & she did it with style. We went up & stayed Sat. night with her youngest son Chris, & arrived rather like visiting royalty about 1100 am on Sunday. Needless to say, Jude had a ball. Christopher made, iced & decorated the cake for her.. Not bad for a bloke huh ?
Here's a few more pics of the day for you to enjoy....

So , that was it. A lovely weekend spent with dear family & friends with lots of tears of joy, especially from two ginger cats when we got home. For me the highlights of the weekend aside from the obvious one of Jude's happiness, was the look on Sharon's face when Jude showed her the celebrated tattoo.. Priceless. Even more so was Renee snuggling up to me on the sofa, giving me a hug & saying, "I love you Poppy." Money can't buy that one....

In retrospect

2010-10-07T20:57:00.004+13:00

Sadly, I didn't take an odometer reading before we left. Some simple addition based on the distance table on our trusty sheet map though, informs me that we have done at least 3500 km. This doesn't take into account the odd side trip & , to be fair, includes an approximation of distances involved from Haast to Jackson's Bay & West Port to Karamea, beyond & back. Still, give or take the odd (very odd sometimes) thousand k's or so, it's still a fair distance for a couple of oldies in a dated & elderly Isuzu Mu.

To be said in defence of Sherman, he never let us down on the road at all. Even starting first crank after standing in the snow for two days. The only problem we had was blowing a couple of radiator tubes, but to be fair, he waited till we were safely in Dunedin before that happened. I rather think that it was probably righteous indignation taking the form of a very mild protest at what he was being asked to do.

I think that if I was to pack again for a trip like this that I would take a lot less in the way of clothing. Some of the stuff we took didnt even come out of the bags. Soft bags are definitely the way to go as they pack a lot easier. Our system of one carry in, one reserve clothing & a combined bag for woolies worked well. Don't forget to include an empty bag to stow your washing in.

One thing we found is that all Motels now have full wet walkin shower facilities in at least one generally two of their units. don't be scared to ask for them. Motel owners by & large will go a very long way out of their way to make sure things are right for you.

Prescription medicines & specialist foods are a big consideration as well. Make sure you take more than enough. I ran out of my blood pressure tablets while away & it was a bit of a hassle getting them. If you have to do it, allow at least two days for hiccups. Find a friendly chemist in the neighborhood & ask if its OK. Then get his fax number to give to your doctor's receptionist to send it through to. Remember too that if it is repeat medicine, to only order a months worth, as repeats half a country away aren't really a lot of use. For Jude's Fortisip, our Chemist filled a 3 month scrip for us in one hit when I told her our plans. I also took anextra carton or two that we already had. Not wanting to run out, I also asked our Dr. for an extra months worth in the form of a scrip. This he was happy to do.

Take care of yourself when you are on the road. The most spine chilling moment for me of the whole trip was when I found out that a cast on my arm rendered my car insurance void. It's a dreadful feeling being stranded away from home especially when you are trying to give your darling the holiday of a lifetime. I opted not to wear the sling they gave me & to get rolling again as soon as we could. I would be lying if I said it was an easy road, especially with dire warnings of possible future need for surgery ringing in my ears. My rationale was that at least by that time, I would be home & have familiar support systems in place to be able to cope with it. Still, loading & unloading bags & wheelchairs with a bent wing isn't an easy call. Still, pain killers are your friend in that situation. It turns out that according to the Orthopaedics guy that I saw today, I did the right thing. Wearing a sling extends rehabilitation by another 2 to 3 months while you build your arm muscles up again & gain back the movement in your shoulder. Its apparently going to take a couple or three months for it to come right anyway, but at least I can care for Jude properly in the meantime.

One of the first things I did when we got home was put Jude on the scales. We were both shocked to find that she had lost another 10kg & subsequently, she has increased her Fortisip intake to 6 bottles a day. Time will tell if this is enough.

So here we are home again. Jude is happy as a sandboy with a heap of fond memories. I'm sore, hurt in places I didn't know I had from pushing a wheelchair round & absolutely exhausted.. Would I do it all again ? Hell yeah.. Well maybe in about 3 months when I have fully recovered & my arm stops hurting, but yes, with no hesitation at all.

Happiness is a warm bear home safe & sound.. Paddington would like to thank everybody for helping to give his Mum a wonderful holiday & lots of lovely memories.. It is time for a little bear to rest happily for a while now Thx, Bai XXXXXXXXXXXX

Head down, Ass Up & Rolling.....

2010-10-06T20:21:00.003+13:00

So here we are gassing up somewhere on the Kapiti Coast with a lot of K's in front of us. Shermans last refuelling was at Karamea, on the West Coast, so it was time he was topped up. Sunday morning went very fast, & it was with great reluctance that we parted company with Pete at round 1045 to go & check in for our 1200 crossing. Imagine our joy to see our old friend the Santa Rosa tied up at the wharf.

It didn't take us long get checked in, boarded & snugged down in our cabin in the drivers section. It was a very smooth crossing, the only hassles being the tribes of school kids swarming round yelling & giggling. I couldn't really sleep, but I dont know if it was the noise or just the excitement of setting foot on home turf again. Although the sea was calm, mainly due to a strong southerly wind holding it down it was a stirring trip. I found myself a sheltered spot on the lee side & sat & listened to the wind screaming in the rigging. I wouldn't want to be out in my boat in it.

All too soon & not soon enough, we were driving Sherman out of the cavernous vehicle hold & making our way back up to Silverstream for a welcome reunion with Heather & Robb. You guys rock. You have two wonderful children as well. Give them both a pat on the head from us both & take several for yourselves. We really appreciated everything you did for us.. Paddington wasn't all that certain about Turbo though..
So we left Rob & Heather about 0815 on the Monday morning. Allowing for fuel & comfort stops & the obligatory meal at the Turangi truck stop, we didn't make bad time. We elected to come home via Tokaanu, coming back onto SH1 at Tokoroa. Country roads with no towns & no police patrols.. We made it home by 4.15 pm, which I thought wasn't too shabby. We had texted ahead, so two friends were waiting to help me throw everything in the spare garage & park Sherman up for a well earned rest. The Ginger ninja's were very happy to see us home, didn't stop talking to us for a good half hour. How do I break it gently to them that we are off next weekend as well for Jude's 65th birthday? Oh well I'll (yawn) worry about that (yawn ) in a day or so....

Homeward and Outward Bound

2010-10-06T10:07:00.007+13:00

It's never easy coming to the realisation that your holiday is coming to a close, although when it has gone on for as long as ours has, there is more than a little yearning for home & familiar beds. Its not easy to leave though when your hosts at a motel are as friendly as old friends, coming out to see you off & taking time out from their busy schedule to talk to you for ten minutes or so, making it very difficult to leave..

However, leave we did, setting a course up the Buller Gorge. There is an almost mystical feeling knowing that you are going to be following a river almost to it's source, wondering what it must have been like for men such as Buller & Brunner who came through on foot, with only Maori tracks to guide them, not knowing how long they would be away or, indeed if they would even survive. By this time, we were feeling more than just a little maxed out when it came to rivers, mountains, stunning views etc., & had more or less decided not to worry about taking any more pictures, but there are always exceptions when you are down south, like this...

A place where the road has literally been carved back into the cliff, because there was no other alternative. Apparently, it is only just high enough for trucks & buses to negotiate safely. Then there is this...

A little island in the middle of the river weighed down under a mass of native bush. One can but only conjecture on the native wildlife living there.

So on we go. It is quite an amazing feeling getting to see places that we learned about in the history books, like Inangahua & Murchison, where there were such devastating earthquakes early on in our short but colourful history. Finally, we reached Richardson, where Jude fulfilled another of her Bucket list things, namely a visit to the Hoglund Glass Studios. Cameras are forbidden there, but you can see their work here . From there, we went into Nelson to look at the museum. Sadly, we got the wrong one. What she didn't tell me at the time was that she wanted to visit the one that had the wearable arts display. Never mind, the place was culturally uplifting anyway. Sadly, we had the only sour part of our trip in Nelson in the form of a verbal dispute over who had more right to a handicapped carspace. Us or a pigmentaciously disadvantaged gentleman in a lowrider Holden. Sorry Bro, you rather lowered the tone of what was otherwise a lovely city.

We were going to stay in Nelson, but a couple of phonecalls assured us of a bed at Peters place in Picton & also a berth on Blue Bridges 12.00 oclock crossing on the Sunday. Onya Blue Bridge, you guys rock when it comes to price, service, flexibility& good old fashioned hospitality. Dont change guys, you are awesome.

So we did the Nelson Picton leg via the Queen Charlotte road. Although it isn't the fastest way of getting there, it enabled me to cross something off MY bucket list, namely a visit to Anakiwa, specifically The Outward Bound School there. I was lucky enough to win a Lions Club sponsorship for a course in 1967. I found it to be a profoundly life changing experience & thoroughly enjoyed it. As luck would have it a new course was starting the day we were there. Course number 558. Mine was course 48.. My how time flies......

My old watch house, although in my time, it was a very small & draughty hut. They now have 4 of these ships cutters instead of the one we had when I went there. Lovely to see them being used & valued on a daily basis. They really are a beautiful craft

Anyway from there, it was on to Pete's place for our last night in the South Island. Cant think of anyone nicer to spend it with. It was lovely to meet you Peter & we enjoyed the hospitality. Thanks mate.

So here we are in Westport

2010-10-05T12:29:00.008+13:00

The weather seems to be falling into a bit of a pattern. Stunningly beautiful mornings followed by wind & rain in the afternoons. Our intentions for Westport are to go all the way to the end of the road past Karamea, which takes you to the start of the Heaphy Track. Then we were going to go up to Denniston & have a look at the mining relics & the coal mine that has been on fire for years. However, one thing I am learning about the South Island is not to be too ambitious about how much ground you can cover in one day. What looks like a snap on the map invariably turns out to have lots of hills & winding roads involved. Such was the case with Karamea. Its very pretty, but after 50 odd kilometers of narrow winding road up hill & down dale, you can get over it. Not that it isn't pretty, its just that you realise that you don't have any option but to return the same way.

You do however eventually reach the end of the road & believe me the trip is worth it. Aside from the scenery, the look on Jude's face was worth more than all the bad road in New Zealand put together.

Anyway, after all that driving & the fact that it was pelting down with rain as only it can on the Coast, we opted for the warmth of our motel unit. It was creeping on towards 4.00 o'clock anyway. Denniston et al can wait for another day. I think you would need a week to explore the area properly anyway..

Onwards, ever onwards

2010-10-04T21:16:00.008+13:00

I'm learning as we go. All sorts of things. How tired Jude can get if we aren't off the road by 3.30 4ish so that she can have a snooze when we are booked in to a motel. I'm learning that there is a whole different set of muscles that you bring into play pushing a wheelchair. That it pays to reconnoitre before you go walking somewhere & make sure it is wheelchair friendly. That going sight seeing with a wheelchair is easier if you know how to handle it, not as a complete bunny learning on the job like me. Most importantly, if you put your hand in the wrong place when you're opening one, they bite hard. Another thing learned is that if your partner is too tired, or just plain physically unable to go look at something, bring them back a little keepsake. A rock, a bit of driftwood, or even a hand dipped in the water & rubbed onto a cheek can mean so much. Also meals. If your partner is, like Jude, totally dependent on Fortisip via a PEG tube, don't feel guilty about stopping somewhere for a leisurely lunch. It took a little persuading to get Jude to come with me, but at least she got to taste local delicacies even if it was only a little taste on the end of her finger. It means that you get a decent break from driving too, which is very important.

Greymouth was our next stop of any consequence. After Shanty Town of course. What a wonderful asset this is, providing not only a great tourist attraction, but also employment for local people, who were very helpful, even moving the train so that Jude could take the ride up through the bush.

This desperate pair in the local saloon weren't very cooperative however....

In Greymouth we were quite tickled to find this somewhat realistic piece of concrete sculpture on the foreshore.

Anyway, onwards & upwards as they say. Punakaiki is a good example of doing your homework. I went & checked at the visitors center to find that the circular path at the top has steps on one side of it, so you have to come back the way you went. Doesn't really matter, because you can get right round anyway by going back the way you came.

Anyway, after all this vigorous (on my part anyway) sight seeing, it was a pair of very weary but happy travellers who finally booked in to a motel in Westport for a couple of nights

Past Haast to Frigid Franz Part 2

2010-09-30T20:57:00.004+13:00

So from there, we really didn't have a lot of options but to head north, so we did. It was a slow trip as there was, all the way along regardless of weather, lots of very pretty places to stop & enjoy the view. This was one of them. It was on top of a hill somewhere or other & the whole layby was a dedicated memorial to the surveyors that opened up the coast..

A sure sign of an enlightened local body was these composting toilets at this spot. Our local council wont have a bar of them, which is sad because they really are very environmentally friendly...
After all this excitement, it was nearly an anticlimax to stop for lunch at the salmon farm . I will say that the farm, along with most attractions on the Coast is very wheelchair friendly. It is an absolute pleasure to go to these places & have easy access for a chair & friendly staff that dont talk across or down to folk in wheelchairs. Anyway, we had a lovely lunch there, (Salmon of course..) & were fortunate enough to see our first ever Kotuku, or white heron.
So onward we pressed.This is a beach where , apparently, everyone stops & writes their name on a rock at the side of the road.
So, we did too....
We pressed on...... and on...... and on......... through lots of Beech forest like this...........

Across lots of bridges like this
Until we finally got to here.........
Here being a nice snug motel unit in Franz Josef. We didn't get to see this view until the next morning, as by the time that we got to Franz, it was persisting down rather heavily. Sadly, we didn't get to see either of the glaciers, as The Fox was coyly draped in a heavy layer of mist when we went through, & Franz Josef isn't visible from the road & neither of them are wheelchair friendly at all. It was a very interesting day weather wise though. In the one day we had sunshine, frost, snow, rain , hail, sleet, wind, thunder & lightning. As you can guess, this made for a very interesting day on the road. We were quite glad to snuggle up in a nice warm motel unit for the night & listen to the tumultuous sound of good heavy West Coast rain on the roof.

Past Haast to Frigid Franz

2010-09-30T19:11:00.012+13:00

This was the view I opened the ranchslider on our motel up to in the morning. The lighter bit at the top was golden when I first saw it, but by the time I got the camera, that had gone, but it was still very pretty
So , we loaded Shermy up again & actually headed south. I did actually hope to have a photo of a beautiful wild stag that comes out & wanders around the township of an evening, but he didn't cooperate while we were there. I thought I was the victim of a West Coast legpull till I was shown a photo of him at the back of our motel unit.

Our host at the motel recommended that we go to a place called Neils Beach to watch the local whitebaiters in action so we did...

The pic with Sherman in it is actually looking back along the beach toward dry land. At high tide, all this is under water. It was really great driving out there with the river on one side & breakers coming in & washing round your wheels on the other. Yet another occasion where I was thankful for 4WD. On the way out, Sherman insisted on passing the time of day with one of his Southern Cousins..

After quite a lot more very pretty, very narrow road, we effectively reached the end of the road, a very pretty, very tranquil little place that is steeped in history & derives its living from the crayfish industry.

My little Sweety contemplating the peace & tranquillity at the end of the line

Wanaka et al

2010-09-30T07:13:00.005+13:00

We liked Wanaka. It has somehow avoided the plasticity of Queenstown & retained its individuality, while still projecting a welcoming face, even though we didn't stay there.

We did, however, make the pilgrimage out to the airfield, to the Fighter Pilots Museum where we were shown round by a most unassuming elderly gentleman who casually informed us that he used to fly Corsairs when he was in his prime. Thank you Mr Berryman for being the consumate host & talking TO Jude & not over the top of her head even though she was in her wheelchair.

From Wanaka, we drove over the hills to Lake Hawea, all the way up one side of Hawea, back over the hills to Wanaka, then all the way along the top end of Wanaka & eventually into Haast Pass. What can I say about a drive like that ? You definitely get to a point where superlatives fail you & you resolve not to take another picture of lakes & scenery, but always in the south you are seduced by the view & the large number of laybys present everywhere for that purpose, so you do anyway.

It was two very weary little wanderers that eventually found a motel in the Haast township to stay the night.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

2010-09-23T21:22:00.012+12:00

So the bard said. That is the sad part of travelling. The inevitability of having to say goodbye to dear friends, no matter how much you are enjoying each others company. I guess also that you have to strike that happy balance of leaving at a time when your hosts have a genuine regret to see you go & timing it well in advance of them waving you goodbye with the thoughts, "Thank God they've gone." I think we achieved that happy balance with Michelle & Paul. They are both very busy people & were extremely generous with their time. Thanks Guys, we had a blast. Come up & see us sometime so that we can attempt in some small way to repay your generosity.

So onward & ever Southward we went, through a countryside slowly thawing after what was an incredibly heavy weekend's worth of snow. In fact, we went as far as

we could go, stopping only for the obligatory pictures by what is probably one of the most photographed sign posts in the world. I know that I have photo's of my parents there that were taken in either the late '60s or early '70s when they did their big trip south. They did better than us & actually got to Stewart Island. We had planned to, but, sadly, time & weather conspired against us.

Invercargill didn't impress us very much. It looks old & tired. I guess the half melted snow lingering round wouldn't help, but I still wouldn't care to live there. So it was out across more flat farm land with magnificent views of the Southern Alps looming ever closer & closer. Quite a strange feeling to have seen it all in film & photo & to know that we were actually going to see it all first hand very soon. A very moving moment for us was our first view of Lake Whakatipu, because it coincided with the song Smoke on the Water playing on the radio.
Very moving. The lake itself was absolutely beautiful.

We stayed at Queenstown a night, but were happy to leave. Its very touristy, very commercial, very plastic. We decided to take the alpine road up through Cardona. Not only was it a lot shorter, it was also just absolutely stunning

A Winter Wonderland..

2010-09-22T19:16:00.004+12:00

After an incredibly warm welcome from Michelle, Paul , their 4 wonderful kids, an indifferent at best greeting from Molly the Miniature Schnauzer & a good nights sleep, I tiptoed out to the lounge at about 6.30 am hoping to use the quiet time to jot down a few notes over my first coffee of the day. While the jug was boiling, I pulled back the curtains & spent the next 5 minutes absolutely entranced. Virgin snow as far as the eye can see. How absolutely beautiful. bear in mind that we were miles away from any other form of civilisation, so no tyre tracks, no vehicle noise, no nothing. As I Stood there watching a rather plump little Black Bird hopping along the narrow strip of concrete left that was still sheltered by the eaves of the house, I heard the hall door open. There stood Struan, number 3 in the kids pecking order & I think about 4. You may correct me if I'm wrong. he looked at me with this huge big grin on his face & said, " i maded you a winter wonderland. "

And he had. He couldn't help himself. He had to wake the other two in the end room & tell them. We had a lovely day. I helped make my first ever snowman. I trudged through a foot of snow over to the shed to help Paul feed the calves, being accosted by two pet lambs with short memories on the way. We went up to the top shed & fed the other calves. then we carried on up the hill as far as Harry, the Suzuki Carry, (Harry the Carry, get it ?) Then we loaded up with firewood to fuel the heating system at home. I had had enough by that stage & spent the rest of the day resting.

Monday saw us bid a sad farewell to this absolutely wonderful family. Thankyou to Paul, Michelle, Lachlan, Charlotte, Struan & Neive. You are some of the most wonderful people we know. We will both carry the memories of our stay with you for a very long time.

On The Road Again

2010-09-21T07:13:00.003+12:00

I understand now the old Simon& Garfunkel lyrics, “on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.” You see, as you know, our big trip has been interrupted because of my misplaced chivalry & the resulting injury. However, itchiness of foot was starting to reach intolerable levels, so in the face of the biggest low pressure complex anyone has seen for years, we set off, & southwards at that. We were absolutely determined to spend some time with Michelle & her husband Paul. We had met Michelle albeit briefly, last time we were in Dunedin, when she made the trip in to town & visited us at my son’s place.

The summit of somewhere or other in The Catlins

So blithely off we set. The weather in Dunedin up til yesterday afternoon had been quite pleasant, with just some strong winds. Yesterday, however was a different matter. By the time we left from the Meridian mall in Dunedin after what was, for us at least & I’m sure for both my sons as well, very painful & reluctant farewells, it wasn’t particularly nice. Lowering grey overcast with the first dustings of snow on the hills up the back. But only if you looked real close. Anyway, round about Milton, we ran into a little front & had our first little flurries of snow. Quite exciting it was, having never driven in snow before. Little did we know. We topped the tank off in Balclutha, just to be sure & set off happily along the Catlins road.

Mother nature was very kind to us. Our first sign that things were going to turn pear shaped was the odd little mound of snow here & there in the middle of the road. Easy stuff. I can handle this, so on we merrily went. As you can see, by the time we got to the summit of somewhere or other with , I am sure what would be a beautiful view under better circumstances, the snow was starting to be a serious factor in our trip. But we carried on. And on & on & on, with the snow getting heavier & heavier & heavier. Sherman coped with it all very well. I engaged the free wheeling hubs fairly early on & just used 4WD as needed, which basically became a permanent thing. I must say that at this point, I was starting to feel like a real Southern man, driving through snow with set of chains & a carton of Speights in the back. I must admit to being somewhat reluctant to use the chains, as I didn’t want Sherman bursting into song when I put them on him. (Sorry, that was a bad one I know.)

I must admit to being rather surprised to see a few camper vans being driven by what I considered to be very foolhardy souls & , indeed, in one spot came across one in trouble, where two of them had tried to pass in a spot where there was only one set of wheel ruts in the snow & lost traction & needed help from your ever present country policeman. Don’t ever say a word against the police to me again. This poor guy had been patrolling this particular stretch of snow bound road helping numpties that don’t have enough sense to stay off roads with 6 inches or so of snow on them while driving high sided front wheel drive vans.

Snow, snow & more snow.. All over the road at that

Sherman, of course, handled it beautifully. Assisted of course in no small measure by myself. I was lucky, I guess, in that the weather got progressively worse, so by the time it got absolutely dreadful, we were that close to Michelle’s place that it made sense to carry on. By the time we got to the Quarry Hills area, the snow was quite heavy. We finished up driving on virgin snow fall. the road was that little used that the only marks on it were the foot prints of resident hares looking in vain for a meal.. Damn we were glad to get to Michelle & Pauls, even though we didn’t know at the time that it was their place. I just decided it looked like a likely spot to call in & ask DIRECTIONS….. Sorry Michy, I couldn’t resist that one. So, you can imagine our relief when we spied this diminutive figure in a red apron waving frantically from the front lawn. Our destination at last & yes, it is true, snow doesn't make any sound at all when it's falling. Quite eery.

The view from Michy's front window

Well done, trusty old wagon.
Sherman about 2 hours after we arrived.

Cast Off !!!

2010-09-16T18:10:00.002+12:00

Thats the good news. That damnable lump of plaster that I have been dragging round for the last fortnight or so is finally gone. The bad news is that it has been replaced with a fearsome appliance constructed of padded black nylon & velcro that looks like it belongs in Madame Monique's House of Pain. Not that such an establishment either exists, or if it does, has ever been graced by my august presence you understand. The worse news is that this fearsome bit of bondage gear is designed to strap my right arm firmly to my tum & is supposed to stay there at all times unless showering or doing exercises. Fat chance of that happening. The even worse news is that if I don't wear it, I leave myself open to the possibility of corrective surgery later on. The absolutely calamatous news is that I haven't told Jude the last bit nor do I intend to.

You see I have a cunning plan. It isn't taking very long to figure out the range of motions that cause pain. Pain = damage. So if I don't do it, I'm not interrupting the healing process. Thats my theory & I'm sticking to it. I have to see the orthopedics department when we get home, so I guess time will tell. At least I will be home then & in the framework of the excellent support system that is already in place around Jude & myself.

So, we are going to carry on. We have come way too far to pull the plug on things at this point & it's important to me that Jude gets what I have promised her, so its onwards & upwards as of Saturday, although from the looks of the weather coming up, the Stewart Island trip might be problematical.