Well,so much for Xmas

Thats it over & done with for another year. here we are sliding inexorably into another year. Its been very quiet in some respects at work. Mostly bulk deliveries that can be gotten rid of early. I've had two nice short days out of three. This is good because we have Morty & the kids staying with us & it gives me time to spend with them..

Yesterday we went out to a local builders supply & purchased 1/4 of a cubic metre of a lovely white shingle & finally finished off my rock garden in the back yard. We think it looks great, but the Ginger Ninja's arent that sure. Not too big on change those two. Its bad enough that they have to tolerate the presence, albeit a very dignified presence, of Nushka, but change to their evening watering hole ? Not on old chap.

Hopefully today, I will be able to get the kids out to experience a poor man's version of Sea Biscuiting. I have acquired an old truck inner tube & with the aid of a length of lightweight rope, have transformed it magically into said object. Quite how it will all go being powered by a mere 15 horsepower, I'm not really sure, but I think the kids will enjoy it anyway.

New Year is traditionally a time for reflection & the making of resolutions. I have reflected a lot & have come up with two resolutions. I am going to make more time for Jude & I together this year. I am also going to brush up on my guitar playing sufficiently enough that I can hold my own in accoustic jam sessions that are being held once a month at a local bar. Hopefully, I might meet someone interested in forming the basis of a small, low budget semi accoustic band. At worst, a jam session is always a good chance to have a chat with fellow muso's anyway.

So happy New Year. I hope it brings you what you want. I somehow cant see world peace happening though.. But it would be nice, wouldnt it?

Road to Escondido

I have just bought this album & have so far listened to the first 7 tracks.What an awesome album. Smooth as silk, creamy as butter & slides down like a glass of Bailleys with a shot of Drambuie in it.

Its hard to believe that Cale is 68 & Clapton 61..Where has our youth gone ? Not the least of it by any means, is the involvement on keyboard of Billy Preston, the only muso to ever play with both the Beatles & the Rolling Stones. He also had a leading role in the movie "Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club band.

Damn this is one fine album. I think I will have to copy it so I dont wear the original out, because it is sure gonna get some air time..

Merry Bluddy Xmas

I havent blogged much in the last week or so. Its been a combination of being too damned tired & not actually feeling much like it. We have been busy like a bee with a bum full of honey workwise & last Saturday, my next door neighbour & good mate finally lost his battle with cancer. Rest in peace Geoff.

Xmas wise ? Well, the Boss conned me into being Santa Claus at the work do. Photo's posted as available. It went well. Had Xmas dinner with my Sis yesterday & took her thru to see my Mum in the afternoon not so good. Mum really wasnt at the top of her game. On the bright side, off to the big smoke tomorrow to have Xmas dinner with the grandkids. Looking forward to that . House inspection coming up by Morty & the kids... Looking forward to that too. Prolly another Chrissy dinner as well, cos herself allus stocks up too much... Looking forward to that too..

Well, Merry Xmas to you all & thank you for reading my blog over the year. I hope the New Year brings you nothing but joy. I would like to toast you all with an old Irish toast.... "May the skin of your bum never cover the head of a banjo"

This is Dotty

By her human servant's own admission probably the most spoiled cat in Te Aroha. She runs the accounts payable department for Williams Furnishing in that fair town. Its a wonderfully old fashioned family store in which you can find all sorts of treasures, including the owners, who were only too happy & went to considerable trouble involving bribery & cajolery to get Dotty suitably posed in her favourite spot for me.

Such a lovely store & lovely folks to deal with, but then, most of the retailers there are. Must have something to do with living in the shadow of a mountain , the name of which translates out as, "The Love"

Happy Birthday Jim

We miss you

Dammit.....

I LIKE this sign....................................

Requiem for a friend

I went to the hospital tonight to say goodbye to a friend. I havent known Jeff for all that long, only a couple of years. Since he, his lovely wife & his teenage daughter moved in next door in fact. he has led a most remarkable life; from a fitter & turner on the Tyneside to a personnnel manager in a Saudi Arabian fish farm in fact.

Jeff could always be relied upon to find something humerous in any situation, from our Kiwi ways, to being blown up in a terrorist attack. Even collapsing in the classroom & subsequently being diagnosed with terminal cancer of a particularly savage kind. When I first met him he was a big man with a big presence. In 6 months, I have seen him melt away to nothing. The two of them are very strong in each other & it has been quite amazing to see. Now they are both worn out & had enough. Jeff is ready to move on & Lorna understands & is ready to let him go. I admire their courage.

So fare you well my friend. Both Herself & me will miss you greatly, but we understand your need to move on. We love you...

Tapu Lifting

One of the headlines on the New Zealand Heralds web site this morning concerns the lifting of Tapu on State Highways 1 & 2 by a concerned group of Maori elders, or Kaumatuas. For my overseas readers, the state of tapu is real & a very serious thing. I have experienced its effects first hand. Something is declared tapu for a variety of reasons, the most frequent these days being violent or accidental death. For instance, if somebody drowns in the sea, then that area is declared tapu until the body is recovered & nobody gathers seafood until it is lifted. The particular tapu that I encountered involved a large carved panel stored in a museum that I was working in as a handyman at the time. It needed to be shifted, but for some reason , I just didnt feel inclined to touch it. We found out that it was tapu for religious reasons & I also found out that one of the other employees at the museum had handled it, gone home & cooked tea for her family, & the entire family ended up ill for 6 weeks, so I dont scoff or mock tapu at all, because to me it is a real thing & is to be respected

Anyway, back to the gondolas as the Monty Python team is wont to say. This group of Kaumatuas is involved in a joint effort involving themselves, the New Zealand Police, The Fire Service & Fulton Hogan Construction to lift the tapu on 2 very notorious stretches of highway & free the Wairua or spirits of those killed violently in road accidents on both stretches of highway by spraying 10 000 litres of water taken from the Waikato river along the road & prayers spoken at two strategic points along the way. The MP for Clevedon, Judith Collins has suggested that this is a waste of time & effort, & that the police would be better involved in fighting the rising crime rate in South Auckland.

This may be so, but frankly, I think she should keep her big mouth shut. Anything that may reduce the road toll along these two stretches of highway has to be good. The police are going to work it in to their existing patrol schedules & the convoy will be moving at 80 km/h, so there will be minimal disruption to traffic. As someone who has not only worked the sharp end of vehicular accidents & death for more years than I care to remember, but also experienced the gut wrenching agony & trauma of losing a family member in a motor accident, my prayers are with them this morning. Anything to make these two bits of road a little safer to travel.

Now all we have to do is find some form of ceremony to instill common sense & sanity into the average lemming like driver commuting to & fro from his metropolitan residence to his weekend retreat.

WOW

OK, so we went to the "Vertigo" concert that U2 gave & it wasnt very good. "Very good" doesn't actually do it much justice. It would actually be fairer to say that it was bloody brilliant. To be part of some 40 000 odd people all singing along to "One Tree Hill" would have to be one of the most moving experiences I have ever had short of the time I ate a dodgy chicken dish at the Victoria Street Market & was crook for 3 weeks, but thats another story, & not a pleasant one.

This is Self & Herself outside the stadium. We hired a van & took both ourselves, Morticia & her two rug rats along. We got there nice & early, & the nice security guards were most helpful in showing us where to go to get to the "Wobbly Walk" carparks. Both Herself & Morticia have the magic cards. This put us within 200 metres of the main gate that we had to go in to.

A picnic lunch that herself had constructed took care of some of the 3 odd hours that we had to kill before show time. A good book took care of the rest for us, but was a little harder for 2 teenagers that arent quite so good at the "Hurry up & wait" thing. Another nice security guard, (Love those guys), let us into the corporate tent area so we could use the toilets there.


After pledging our firstborn at the souvenir stands for a programme ($35.00) & a T shirt each ($45.00) We finally got inside to our seats. Seeing the queues at the food stands made me very glad that herself had gone to the effort of bringing our own. This is the view we had of the stage, so we had pretty good seats I thought. If we wanted a better view, there was always the big screens at each top corner of the set.

Before U2, we had to suffer through 45 minutes of a non descript rap artist called Kanye West, who uses as backing classical instruments such as violins, violas & a harp as backing. An original idea, but one that just somehow doesnt quite seem to jell. The best part of his set, other than it finishing, was the female Negro vocalist he had as a backup singer. Damn she could sing.


















This was the scene shortly before the lights went down & U2 started rockin


This is the stage area once the boys were doin their thing & what a thing. As a muso, I can generally tell if a recording is from a live performance or not just from the instrumentals. Some bands have a tendency to pad numbers out with protracted instrumentals so they dont have to play as many numbers. Not these boys. They get on stage & just fairly rip in to it all.

There is something magical about the combination of Bono's vocals & The Edge's guitar work, especially live , that just makes the hair stand on the back of the neck. Ok, so we had to have Bono's customary little speech about ending world poverty & I'm sure that they could contribute to that by lowering the prices at the stands a bit, but hey it was all good. Midway through one track, not quite sure which one, because the fumes from the herbal tobacco being smoked around me were sorta taking effect, Bono asked everyone to take out their cell phones, light em up & wave em around. Damn that looked good. Then they gave a number to text your full name to.

During one of the two encores, they started scrolling a few of the selected names across the big screen & guess what ? There in lights & capital letters across the top of the big screen at the U2 concert was yours truly's name. AND afterwards, I got a text message from Bono as well. OK, so it was just a form message directing me to his web site for world hunger , & Ok so every other person who texted in probably got the same message, but that aint the point. I can still casually drop it into the conversation at work Monday, along the lines of, "Well, when Bono sent me a text message...."

At the start of the second number , he took a few minutes to thank us all for waiting. That was really nice to hear, & all I can say is "Damn it was worth it, every minute & dollar of it." All I have to do now is make an appointment with my bank manager & drag my eldest son along...

Uhmmmmmm.....

I'm not actually gonna comment on this picture

Well, what a day

This is my new set of wheels. Its a 1992 Isuzu Mu with a turbo charged 2.8 litre diesel motor & a manual gearbox. Its got a few minor things wrong with it, but I dont care. I love it to bits already. Herself & me drove down to Rotorua this morning to get it. it wasnt a terribly pleasant day, but it didnt really matter.

We called in to have lunch with Morty & family on the way home. Its always good to see them & its starting to get exciting, as its down to days now until the U2 concert. Nushka as usual did the canine meet & greet thing with her usual style & grace, with only one small lapse when she prostituted herself for a portion of Apricot Danish.

The good bits hadnt finished, because when we got home, there was a message on the answer phone telling us that herself had won a raffle at the Hospital, the prize being a nights accommodation, dinner & breakfast at Hotel du Vin. Lovely... Get to see the grand kids etc tomorrow sio that will be good as well.. More later

Parallel Parking

This picture really does give a whole new perspective to the process of safely parking a motor vehicle doesnt it ??

I'm glad I dont need American help

It's far too costly. In the news tonight , they interviewed veterans marching in the US equivalent of our ANZAC Day parades. The subject in question was American involvement in Iraq. One old chap, who probably only saw action in the nearest bordello he could find, poked his chicken chest out & said, "Waaalll, we wupped the Japs & now I guess its our turn to wup these guys." This was in response to being told that Coalition fatalities are approaching the 3000 mark & injuries the 22000 mark. Another geriatric redneck had this to say after being told that the civilian casualties are nearly impossible to estimate.. "Waalll (do ALL American opinions start with "Waaalll") They brought it on themselves you know." I wont tell you my reaction to THAT gem. Suffice it to say that herself started chasing me round the lounge waving a bar of soap in determined fashion. I guess Saddam Hussein could probably find cold comfort in the old saying,"We're gonna hang yuh right after we give yuh a fair trial. "

Does it really matter who fires the bullet or sets off the bomb ? Dead is dead for chrissakes. I find a certain measure of cold comfort in the news that the Democrats are taking over the Senate. Now theres another thing you shouldn't get me started on. The American political system. Even Americans that I know dont really understand it. I guess thats why a lot of them have emigrated to New Zealand.

Don't get me wrong here. I actually do know some nice Americans. Its just that I dont really want their military forces "helping" me. THAT looks like a costly & extremely protracted arrangement, & i'm not sure I want it.

I've been here...

But do you think I could find this shop ?? Searched in vain I have on numerous occasions for it & now a friend sends me porno........ photographic proof of its existence... Not fair really is it ?

We knocked the bastard off

Two days, two people, two wheelbarrows, seven previously unheard blues Cd's & a lot of sweat, & consumption of bulk alcohol, but we did it. Yes folks, this is an epic story of a couples triumph over adversity, hard work & a hell of a lot of firewood. Yup, its all neatly stacked away & ready for winter, although with the weather the way it is at the moment it is our personal opinion that winter aint all that very far away. As well as the wood, I also managed to get the netting on the rack for the beans to grow on . Damn do I need a soak in the spa at this point, but herself is riveted to the telly watching the All Blacks giving the Froggies an absolute trouncing. I suppose it will make up in part for them bombing the Rainbow Warrior.. A bas le DGSE. Gros merde ils sont etre.

Thats basically the weekend screwed. Once the rugby has finished, it'll be a soak in the spa, cos herself is hurting as well. Then I think I will flash up the Barby & cook tea there because neither of us can be stuffed washing dishes, so its burnt offerings for tea tonight. What is it about mercilessly incinerating perfectly good meat that appeals to us blokes? I guess it must be some form of atavistic memory of chummy nights around a fire in a cave long long ago. I dunno. Anyway Ed & I are to share the crappy late run week about from now on. That is I suppose till the next emergency crops up & I have to change round yet again. Must be some kind of lesson I'm supposed to learn from it about getting comfortable & complacent, but I'm buggered if I know what it is.

Anyway loyal readers, I hope your week is a cruisy & enjoyable one. Depending on what i end up doing , I guess I will write soon. Take care, & please leave a comment if you want to. Would be nice to have a name or two for some of you viewers.. Later...

Le peche de jour

unfortunately wasn't this fine fellow, but he & some of his friends did keep us company tonight. You see, Herself & I finally managed a night out for a leisurely unhurried & extremely delicious meal at the Old Thames Restaurant. We have been there on odd occasions over the years with indifferent at best results, but tonight we had a lovely meal. Nice , relaxed & unhurried, with really lovely food with himself in the pic looking over our shoulders. he is a good 8'' long, & a very handsome fellow. cant help wondering how he would look in a nice crisp batter, served with a plate of chips though... And uhmmmm, still haven't had any replys to my somewhat generous offer regarding the woodpile...

I havent blogged a lot lately

It isnt because I dont love you all, its just that a lot has been happening. I have also been on a really shit run workwise, getting home late & not seeing herself very much at all. Was out & about in all that shocking weather in Auckland yesterday, but made it home safe & sound alright . Hopefully will fill you in on how my week has been sometime over the weekend. That is, if I survive stacking the 10 to 12 cubic metres of firewood that we had delivered yesterday. Any volunteers to help ? I will provide food, cold alcohol, encouragement, exhortation, good music & a soak in a hot spa pool when we have finished. Its only gotta be stacked about 20 metres away in my wood shed & its all flat concrete to get there.. Catch ya later..

Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon

We went & saw my Mum this afternoon. She was actually pretty good today. She actually told me she loved me for the first time in a while. Herself raided the garden for some flowers to take for her. This is what she came up with. Pretty neat huh? Herself is justifiably proud of what she can produce from her little gardens. I spent the morning burning rubbish & emptying & refilling the spa pool cos the water was starting to get a bit on the stale side. Now its hurry up & wait for it to heat up so that we can throw our tired old bodies into it.

Had a lovely day yesterday visiting with Morticia & Pugsley, Wednesday being away at a family gathering. Didnt get to see Tommy though. Nushie did condescend to allow me to feed her chicken & donuts, which I suppose is something I guess.... Its always nice to see Morty & we are all looking forward to U2 soon.......

Leave them alone for God sake

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"!

She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this"

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm stuffed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe

I had a quiet little cry this afternoon

It sorta snuck up on me just a bit. You see I got this double CD from the library this morning & thought that i would have a listen to it while I was building herself a frame to protect her strawberries from the predations of our avian friends. Anyway, I put it on & started listening to it. Its full of tracks that I haven't heard anyone else except me play for a whole lot of years. It took me back to times when I was under 20, had just bought my first 12 string, was a member of a folk music club, had heard Dylan for the very first time. Arlo Guthrie singing Alice's Restaurant right through (with feeling) & a whole raft of other things including people that I thought I had long forgotten. I
t all put me in mind of one of the most poignant songs that I think the Beatles ever recorded. Here are the lyrics for you, so you can shed a quiet little tear or two & feel just as maudlin as I do at the moment..


There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more

Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
In my life i love you more

I dont think I have to tell you the name. Heres to all my friends past & present. I love you all

Ooops........

Flat straight road for about 3 km's in both directions..... No other vehicles involved....... Beautiful fine morning........ Ooooppsss......

This is Tiger

he works for Environment Waikato at their Paeroa branch. He has been there about 2 years now. He was a bit of a street kid when they got him & very wary of men with boots, so I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions as to why. he didnt even know how to play when he arrived there. He has made up for lost time since so they assure me . He is now master of the "in" basket & making sure that all folders in the bookshelf are right way up & in the right order. he also does a very good meet & greet routine. The human staff there just love him to bits & are very proud of him.. Not bad for a street kid from the wrong side of the tracks huh ?

I love a rainy night

Yep old Eddie Rabbitt had it right there alright. There is something very satisfying about lying in bed at night listening to the rain falling on a corrugated iron roof. In our house, the insulation in the ceiling muffles the noise just enough that you dont have to raise your voice to be heard, or be woken up when it starts.

The other thing about rainy nights is that I find them very romantic. Even outside in the spabeque watching the steam drift off from under the gazebo is relaxing.. Did I mention that I find rainy nights romantic ???? maybe I did..

Well, its Labour Weekend

And typically for Labour Weekend its currently pissing down with rain. But thats not really of much account . basically we have had a good weekend. Sharon & Richard came down with the grandkids & thats always nice. They really are growing up fast. The grandkids that is. Sharon & Richard do act mature on occasions as well. Didnt do a lot, but it was nice just for them to be here & to spend quality time with them. I couldnt get down & play with them too much as I banged my ribs up somewhat last Thursday at work & two visits later to the hospital later am still sore. Coming right though.

Alf's family came down to tidy up & clean out his house & tidy up & have a garage sale.. Damn a lot of stuff got sold at bargain prices. Two big rubbish skips of crap have also gone from the property as well as all but two of the old car body's so its all good.

On a sad note, my friend Jeff has been readmitted to hospital. He has terminal cancer & i dont think that he has much longer to go somehow. Just wish I could bundle the three of them up & make all the hurt go away, but that is only possible in story books I guess . All we can do now is be there for them now. Other than that, its been good to have extra day off. Its helped the poor old body along substantially, so happy labour day.

This is what Wikipedia has to say about Labour day

A Labour Day is an annual holiday celebrated all over the world that resulted from efforts of the labour union movement, to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers.

The celebration of Labour Day has its origins in the eight hour day movement, which advocated eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours for rest. On 21 April 1856 Stonemasons and building workers on building sites around Melbourne, Australia, stopped work and marched from the University of Melbourne to Parliament House to achieve an eight hour day. Their direct action protest was a success, and they are noted as the first organized workers in the world to achieve an eight hour day with no loss of pay, which subsequently inspired the celebration of Labour Day and May Day.

Labour Day in New Zealand

In New Zealand, Labour Day is a public holiday held on the fourth Monday in October. Its origins are traced back to the eight-hour working day movement that arose in the newly founded Wellington colony in 1840, primarily because of carpenter Samuel Parnell's refusal to work more than eight hours a day. He encouraged other tradesman to also only work for eight hours a day and in October 1840 a workers' meeting passed a resolution supporting the idea. On 28 October 1890, the 50th anniversary of the eight-hour day was commemorated with a parade. The event was then celebrated annually in late October as either Labour Day or Eight-Hour Demonstration Day. In 1899 government legislated that the day be a public holiday from 1900. The day was celebrated on different days in different provinces. This led to ship owners complaining that seamen were taking excessive holidays by having one Labour Day in one port then another in their next port. In 1910 the government "Mondayised" the holiday so that it would be observed on the same day throughout the nation.

Apparently its a pretty big thing in Canada as well. It does seem strange that we "celebrate." I feel that it might be more appropriate to spend the day in mourning somehow. We seem hell bent at the moment on giving away all the hardfought benefits that our fathers worked so hard to obtain. Like who actually works a 40 week any more ? I wouldnt know what to do with my spare time if I only worked 40 hours. And who belongs to a union any more ? I dont , but I am lucky enough to be employed by a company with a heart. There are those who arent though. I guess one of the good things to come out recently is the extra weeks holiday after you have been employed in the same company for 10 years. I have just qualified for that.. yay...

Reading.. The Gospel of Judas by Simon Mawer, fiction, with the interesting concept of a scroll found in the Dead Sea area written by Judas that starts off by stating that he saw Christ die & that he didnt rise & he had viewed the decomposing body. All this is being translated by a Roman Catholic priest.. Hmmmmmmm......

Listening to. The Best of Jethro Tull Kick ass rock at its best.. I just love what Ian Anderson does with the flute..

Work things

This is the truck that I am driving at the moment. Its a Nissan CH 350 six wheeler. This means its 350 turbocharged horsepower. It has a 10 speed Eaton Fuller Road Ranger gearbox. The deck will hold 18 standard pallets & we have fitted it with a mezzanine floor so that we can carry long stuff like packs of timber. It is fitted with a lazy axle, which means that we can raise the rear of the two back axles. This puts more weight on the drive wheels which gives more traction. This is helpful as we do a lot of farm deliveries with it.Its one very nice truck to drive, & will be sad to return it to its regular driver...

We finally made the big time !!!!!!

A New Zealand man who drove into a power pole after using dishwashing liquid for brake fluid has been honoured with a Darwin Award - given for idiocy.

Darwin Awards recognise "individuals who ensure the long-term survival of our species by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion".

Author Wendy Northcutt has gathered them into a book highlighting unintentional, foolish, bizarre, avoidable injuries or deaths.

Three New Zealanders appear in her latest book.

The dishwashing liquid man did not actually kill himself, so had to be content with a "notorious" award, for those who do foolish harm to themselves.

He opted to use dishwashing liquid as a cheaper alternative to brake fluid.

Perhaps predictably, his brakes failed as he tried to steer around a bend. His car slammed into a powerpole.

He was washed up: his car was not registered, and his licence had been suspended, so police charged him.

He was sentenced to 220 hours of community service and further licence suspension of a year.

Two New Zealanders won posthumous awards.

One man jacked up his car to repair it, using a car battery under the jack to create more height.

The battery collapsed, the jack toppled over and the car crushed him.

The other was killed when he apparently overrode the protection system of a food processing plant by putting a weight on a lever which shut the machine down. He suffered fatal injuries when he was pulled into the machine.

Past award winners have included terrorists who set their bombs on daylight saving time and delivered them on standard time, blowing themselves up.

People who tried to put garlands around a tiger's neck have been honoured, as have Cambodian men who took turns to stomp on a land mine they had brought into a bar.

Thank you to The New Zealand Herald for this one. It really is difficult to believe that folks can be so bloody stupid, but there you are I guess..

Thanks a Billion

My cousin Shirley sent me this email ....

A billion in perspective


The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a
casual manner, think about
whether you want the "politicians" spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising
agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate
our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at
New Orleans . It's amazing what you
can learn with some simple division .

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the
Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild
New Orleans . Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every
man, woman, child). You each get $516,528.

B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your
home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D.C . HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??

This is too true to be very funny


Kinda makes you stop & think.......


Dont it ??

Bye Bye Blackbird

Its ironic I know, but as I am posting this, I am listening to Max Geldray his Orchestra actually playing that particular song as part of The Goon Show. Anyway, on to the reason for the picture & the post.

I guess you remember me telling you about Mr Bird & his nesting efforts ? Well this is Mr Bird. As this picture was taken, he was in the process of fossicking about in our garden & on our lawn for his dinner. Not 30 seconds before, Fattums, one of the Ginger Ninja's had just stalked pass not 10 feet away, to the complete unconcern of Mr Bird. If he maintains this level of nonchalance, he is going to end up as an integral part of an old nursery rhyme, namely 4 & 20 Blackbirds...


This is Mr Dog. I didnt get his christian name, but he is the self proclaimed managing director of a motorcycle shop that I delivered to this morning. He strolled out to meet me all full of his self importance. After the proper formalities, a handshake, he proceeded to list his qualifications in the closest way he could to talking. What a lovely friendly dog.







This was the view from the cab of my truck this morning.. What a glorious day it was. A real pleasure to be out & about. a lovely spring day. It was very difficult to imbue myself with the sense of urgency needed to get all my freight kicked out in time to get back to the depot in time for the change over. Unfortunately the forecast aint so flash for tomorrow.. But I guess thats spring for you...

Subterranean Homesick Blues

I had occasion to go up to my Mum & Dad's old house today. I had to. You see I received a notification from the noxious weed inspector that there was an outbreak of a noxious plant called mignonette up in one corner. I havent been up there in a while. Its a head thing regarding my Mum I think. After paying my respects to Pip & Toby, who are both buried between the lemon tree & the orange tree, We went up & checked. Turns out the mignonette is coming through from the neighbors place, so we dobbed them in when we got home.

Although we didnt take keys with us, we had a look round & herself has earmarked a few plants that she wants to uplift. Its a weird feeling walking round a property that you grew up on & feeling like a stranger, seeing someone elses crap lying there that they cant be bothered taking away. Seeing the grapevine that Mum so lovingly tended running wild, & a whole heap of other shit. I think I will be happy to see it change hands finally & get the care that it deserves. It was my home as a child, but I havent had the time or the resources or the inclination to do anything to it over the years. I've been too busy fighting my own personal dragons I guess.

So we eventually came home. A sleep & a long soak in the spa helped. So did a yummy tea of homemade American Hot Dogs. After 7.30, TV was crap, so sat down & watched Cross Roads, a movie I hadnt seen for a long time. I had forgotten how spooky Stevie Vai can look & how damn brilliant Ry Cooder & Sonny Terry are. To me, Ry Cooder is the unacknowledged start of that movie.. I do love slide guitar blues. The movie made a whole lot more sense to me now that I have cd's with everything that Robert Johnston ever recorded on them. He was just an absolute master, & the crossroads thing is really in fact part of his legend. Who knows ???


This bit I copied & pasted from Wikipedia. It says it a lot better than I can ever put it...





Robert Leroy Johnson (May 8, 1911 – August 16, 1938) is among the most famous Delta Blues musicians and arguably the most influential. Considered by some to be the "Grandfather of Rock-and-Roll," his vocal phrasing, original songs, and guitar style influenced a range of musicians, including Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, U2, and Eric Clapton, who called Johnson "the most important blues musician who ever lived."

Of all the great blues musicians, Johnson was probably the most obscure. All that is known of him for certain is that he recorded 29 songs; he died young; and he was one of the greatest bluesmen of the Mississippi Delta.

There are only five dates in Johnson's life that can undeniably be used to assign him to a place in history: Monday, November 23; Thursday, November 26; and Friday, November 27, 1936, he was in San Antonio, Texas, at a recording session. Seven months later, on Saturday, June 19 and Sunday, June 20, 1937, he was in Dallas at another session. Everything else about his life is an attempt at reconstruction. As director Martin Scorsese says in his foreword to Alan Greenberg's play 'Love In Vain: A Vision of Robert Johnson', "The thing about Robert Johnson was that he only existed on his records. He was pure legend."

On Conspiracy theories

I have a friend who is really big on conspiracy theories. You name it , he is in to it; Alien abductions ,ley lines, area 51, the possibility that we didnt actually get to the moon, Angel Hair, cattle mutilations, you get the picture. The fact that between us, we maintain the Southwest Pacific Division of the Confederate Navy & are the sole members doesnt really speak volumes about the mental stability of either of us I guess. Anyway back to the conspiracy theory thing, as the actress said to the Bishop.

He is of the opinion that the reason the North Korean nuclear test was a flop is that they tested at the wrong time of the month. No, nuclear devises dont menstruate. It appears that they do detonate much better if you light the fuse & retire to a safe distance when the moon is waxing. at the moment the moon is waning. he has the figures to back it up & all. I dunno if he is right, but I am discreetly wearing my tinfoil lined hat at the moment.

You can never be too careful you know......................................

My Bete Noire

If I have a Bete Noire, it is pretty young blonde women. I have been reduced to a state of speechlessness by one or more of them on one or more occasions, the latest being today. I am at present doing the delivery run out of Hamilton that encompasses Morrinsville, Te Aroha & Paeroa. At present I have a helper, but that will cease next week when he goes on holiday. We had a small pallet of some 10 or so cartons to deliver to one of the liquor stores in Morrinsville today. As it was a small quantity, we decided that rather than go through the drama of getting the fork hoist out & all the resultant rigmarole, it would be easier to strip the pallet down & load it into a shopping trundler or two, which we were doing.

So, out comes this rather pretty young blonde lass who works there . Not only is she extremely easy to look at, but she is wearing very tight jeans. Now Herself will attest as to my weakness for a shapely bum in tight jeans, her own having been groped on numerous occasions while similarly clad. anyway, back to the blonde.. Out she comes, sidles up to me & says, "So, its just a hand job today is it ?" I of course immediately responded with such conversational gems as, " ah... uhmmm I errr yes uhmmm Ok." Ohh yes. I am the absolute model of suavity & coolness.. Meanwhile, my sidekick is hiding his face, but I can see his shoulders shaking, so I KNOW he's laughing... Revenge is sweet & a dish best savoured cold.. Meanwhile, remind me to stay away from blondes for a bit.. They aint as dumb as they seem you know..

Gross

There really are some things a woman should stay the hell away from & leave for men to do. Body building is one of them.

Happy Birthday John

We really do miss you. Thankyou for the music & the joy you have brought to the world in your too short lifetime. We really do wish you were still here doing it. Your heart was that big that you loved the whole world.. Oh & happy birthday Julian as well. I hope that you love your Dad & are as proud of him as we all are

Is there no hope whatsoever at all?

Had a lovely night out with herself last night. We got invited to a themed 21st Birthday party for the daughter of a dear friend. The only stumbling block was that the theme was Ken & Barby. Initially, i wasnt going to have a bar of it, but some thought came up with the idea that we would go as Geriatric Ken & Barby. The second pic is what we won for the best costume.. Neat huh?

On a different note,(E flat minor) I was out giving the edges a trim with the dreaded petrol powered edge trimmer this morning. As i was working a male Starling was following me along selecting bits of long grass & carrying them off to who knows where for his nest. During one of the frequent breaks to allow for the changing of linewrestling with the vagiaries of the fuel system & the ever important swearing, this little chap hopped right up to within 3 or 4 feet from me & stood & stared. I'll swear he was trying to say thankyou for the free building materials. I gravely informed him that that
was ok, but he better watch out for the Ginger Ninja's, because they regard ground bound avians as legitimate prey. He gravely took it all in & then went on his happy way. I for my part gave up on the blasted weed trimmer & went inside to watch a Star Trek rerun..

Groovy

Nice to know that i'm not the only Robert Palmer fan. Was doing some deliveries in Whangamata & saw this outdoor plant shop.. Really DIG the name. Love the song as well. Do you Know that the town of 29 Palms is home to the Marine Air & Ground Combat Centre.. The worlds largest Marine Corps base.. Its also that freakin hot that 29 palms is all that grows there hence the name

There is hope for the young ones yet

I was as is my accustomed duties, doing deliveries in Waihi today. Specifically, to one of those shops that sells cheap junk. Amazingly, they sell a lot of it, so we deliver there with regularity. Anyway, I was walking out to get the next carton when this young lad walked by with his equally young (15 or 16) girlfriend. Clutched to his skinny little chest were two slightly dogeared LP's. (You know, those round black things that were all the go before cd's) Being a dyed in the wool vinyl addict with an extensive collection, I made comment on them.

"Yeah, look what they are," he said, holding them out like the Holy Grail for me to inspect. Two very early AC/DC albums that he had paid damn good money for at a local record exchange. The condition of the vinyl was immaterial I guess, as they were destined for pride of place on his wall at home. I then told him about some of the discs that I have in my collection. he stopped short of actually kissing my feet, but not by much. he then turned to indicate his young lady & said with reverence in his voice, "She can play Smoke on the Water."

How absolutely bloody awesome.. What a neat couple of kids. It really did me old ticker a power of good talking to them.
This is a not particularly good pic of our Tigger Puss taking time out to smell the flowers. Not very good quality I know, but with cats one must sieze the moment.. If they think they are the center of attention, they will cease forthwith in their endearing activities. Tiggs really likes those flowers. keeps going back to them. Herself is of the opinion that its the stocks she likes..

Happy Birthday to us...

Last night marked the occasion of our annual work conference & evening meal & get together. It was a little bit special as it marked 10 years for my bosses ownership of the company, so there was the usual speeches about where the company was heading in the future & what our roles in it would be.
I wasnt really prepared for the next bit though. You see, I have been working for them for 10 years as well. I was inherited as employee/slave/general rouseabout when they bought the company. Quite nonplussed I was when presented with the gold watch in the picture. Its a Citizen, & not one of your crap digital ones. Nice & slim, nice & light. I will treasure it.
Herself wasn't left out either. She was presented with a lovely bouquet of flowers, (other pic) Compensation I guess for being understanding of a Hubby that chooses to work in an industry where regular hours & being home at a set time for tea is a non existent thing. Sometimes the only way we get to spend time together is for her to come & ride with me
in a bumpy draughty old truck at all odd hours of the day & night. For that tolerance I love her dearly. She never complains about it. Dont you think that's pretty great?

Editorial Comment

So, our Presbyterian Church has upheld a decision made in 2004 to ban anybody in either a homosexual or de facto relationship from holding a position of power within their church. I admire an organisation that stands on it's founding principals & doesnt surrender to our current touchy feely hug a tree attitudes. They arent saying that such folks arent welcome to worship there. They are just saying that to make policy & advise the flock that leaders must be a good example to the flock. I dont see anything wrong with that.

I guess it all depends on which part of the bible you place most credence in. While Christ says love all men as brothers, the old testament is very specific about what you should or shouldnt do. There is nothing wrong with the 10 commandments as a basic principal to base your life on. I have always held that if you love someone, then you should be prepared to stand up & be proud enough to formalise that love in front of your God & the world in general. That to me is a founding part of being a thinking being. What is the one thing that links us as a race of beings ? You got it. Some form of celebration or ritual that says ,"I love this person enough to want to spend the rest of my life with them." The form may vary, but the sentiment remains.

Presbyterianism stems from the dark dour days of John Knox in Scotland. One of the brave few who saw the oppression & misery created by the Roman Catholic Church & actally dared to read a bible for himself & attempt to right what he saw as wrong. The Scots are a proud & stubborn race & you must expect any form of religion that comes from there to cling ferociously to its values & I for one as a lapsed Presbygahooligan am glad to see at least someone take a stance on the moral high ground.

As far as homosexuality is concerned , I very much have a quid pro quo attitude, but if I was a member of a church that believes most strongly in the sanctity of marriage between a man & a woman, then I dont think that I would like to see a homosexual in the pulpit or in a policy making position either. If we are going to go all the way with this current policy of anything goes, then surely a church should be able to decide who does what within their organisation without being publicly condemned & raked over the coals. After all , if you dont like it, you dont have to go.. Its a free world.... Isnt it ????

I had a dickey dongle port

But I have sorted it all out now, so will probably be boring you all shitless with pictures from here on in.. Here is Chloe, our big fat bone idle Calicoe cat that we inherited from my Mum. Her interests include sleeping, swearing & the consumption in massive quantities if she can of cheese & bacon. Exercise doesnt figure highly in her daily routine













I saw these two signs deep in the bowels,(pardon the pun) of the Thames Hospital today. Evidently there have been some fiendish genetic experiments going on down there..




















I never knew that bogs had "innies" & "outies" Remind me to be VERY careful next time I sit down on a strange Bog bowl.. Could this be a fiendish plot to turn us all into card carrying Presbyterians ??



















I saw this bike at a factory in Waihi today.. Lovingly cared for. The rider is a member of the Ulysses Club. It even has a fitting for a towbar. Its an older style Yamaha thats a wannabe Harley , but hey thats Ok, its a nice bike. What I really dig is the massive great truck horns it has fitted. Yes folks, one each side. You can see one of em directly above where the exhaust pipes come out. Groovy huh ?? Hey & these are pretty good pics from my little camera phone huh ?

Cool Mailbox

I do like this mailbox. It epitomises the way I feel about bills & junkmail. The only think that worries me a touch is that stain on the door. I hope its only rust.... Or is it ?????

Thanks for this little lot Hawkeye..

Contemplative sentences

1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.

2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.

3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.

4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR
TERRITORY.

5. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE
SPOT.

6. 99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.

7. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL
UNIVERSE.

8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.

9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW
AVERAGE.

10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST.

11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.

12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND
MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.

13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME
PEOPLE HAVE.

15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.

16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD
MEMORY.

17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.

18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT
TRADE!

19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.

20. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST. AND BE PROUD OF IT!

21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF
PAYMENTS.

22. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY
HAND.

23. OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?

24. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?

25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE
OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.

26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE
WRONG LANE.

27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF
NOW.

28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO
NOT HAVE FILM.

29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER
FRIENDS?

30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?

31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO
JET ENGINES.

32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?

33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT
FALLING OUT.

34. I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN
LOUDER.

35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?

36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON
WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED?

37. JUST REMEMBER - IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD
ALL FALL OFF.

38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME
PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.

Most definitely food for thought in that lot I think..

Religious road signs

A dear friend of mine from Canada sent me this one. I think they must have different road rules there.. I think I like Canadian road rules........

My rock garden

This is sorta a picture of the rock garden that I am building. Its a slow process, because I like to plant a bit & see how it goes before I do any more. I made the bridge & there is actually a pond with fish under it. Hopefully I will get better with taking pics with me new phone. The big challenge at the moment is sorting out the download via the dongle setup. But I'll get there ...

A good idea

Every once in a while, someone comes up with a really brilliant idea.. You know what I mean. Something like velcro, sliced bread, a station that streams back to back Goon Shows. Automatic transmissions for motor vehicles. Labour saving, energy efficient, planet redeeming save the world block busters. This is NOT one of them. This is plain & horribly wrong.. The poor little bastard looks horribly uncomfortable & would more than likely far prefer to be home dry humping mummy's favourite cushion instead of being bounced up & down on a bony hip like he must be. I must be getting old I think, but God forbid that airheads like this should ever get in to positions of power, let alone have any position of authority, like being in charge of my rest home when I get old & dribbly.. this is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG..

Alright Kathy , I surrender

You know what I mean .... Rant time.. For some months now, there has been a roadworks project to provide an extra passing lane on a very busy patch of highway.. the marker cones have been left in place & two road crews present all day doing nothing for some months now. I was moved one morning out of idle curiosity to stop & enquire why. Its like that because there are three low spots in the seal that the grader drivers told the engineers about, but nothing was done to remedy it , the seal laid & the median barrier erected. After three odd months, agreement has finally been reached for repairs & (One hopes) eventual opening. So when do they start the work ? Friday afternoon at the start of the school holidays...The mind boggles..

Skite time... I finally got my vouchers worth$150.00 for a new phone, so am off tomorrow morning to buy a new phone.. this is the one I am getting.. Its a Sharp GX17 & it has a camera, so I will be able to bore you all shitless with heaps of pics that dont mean a lot to anyone but me.. Seriously, I be gonna try & show you a little of my world thru a windscreen. All I gotta do now is go to the Dr Seuss Shop & hunt down a beast called a Blue Toothed Dongle that will help me download me pics.. More later

The Goon Show

A dear friend sent me this link for streaming radio. It is soooo funny
GoonShowRadio

You can find anything on Google

God I love it.... Some folks have far too much time on their hands.

I've been thinkin

Herself & I got to chatting in the spa pool as we do. The subject of political unrest & terrorism round the world came up. Herself has the wonderfully simplistic view that if we closed the national borders we could contain them all. It made me think.. Just how would we go about solving this problem we have. To solve a problem , you first have to find a cause. You dont have to go much further than religious fanatacism for that. Age old problem. Why is it worse now ? because weapons are so much more powerful. next step, who is the real criminal ? Not the activist who is only fighting for a cause he believes in. OK, if he didnt have AK47's & RPG's etc., he would still probably throw rocks, although I would rather be hit by a rock instead of a bullet.

To me, the real criminals are the arms manufacturers & dealers who supply to these people knowing full well what is going to happen to the gear. They quite simply work on greed. At least the terrorist is working for a faith, however misguided he may be. So the answer is easy. Set an embargo on the weapons & round up all the dealers.. That would be fine in a perfect world, but there are too many greedy people there to make it work.. John Lennon summed it up fairly well..


Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one


Be nice wouldnt it ?

RIP Bob

A good friend & neighbour , quietly gone. He went at home surrounded by his family. May the seas always be calm, the wind mild, the boat sound, the beer cold, the bait fresh, the company good & the fish always big & ready to bite.. We'll miss you mate..

"Wrap me up in my oilskins & blankets,
No more on the docks I'll be seen
Just tell me auld shipmates
I'm taking a trip mates
& I'll see you some day on Fiddlers Green."

Well that was fun.................. Not

Picture one weary old trucker finally finished hard day & a hard week. The little Nissan is all parked up for the weekend, paperwork is in the "in" basket & yours truly is just about ready to close the door & go home, like everyone else has. Out of the darkness, yes folks its THAT late, comes a lady, obviously distressed. Well , old Flattie, being the knight in shining armour that he is, cant resist a damsel in distress. Turns out this particular damsel has had a domestic disagreement of epic proportions with her squire & said squire has decided to end it all by flinging himself off the end of our wharf, which is just across the road from our depot. Oh yay !!!!!!!!!!!

So Flattie being the gennulman that he is, raced to the office & dialled the law. Now a lot has been said in a derogatory manner about response times for the police in this country. Before I had finished talking to the dispatcher, a unit was already in attendance. I dont have any problems with that. This woman was by this time babbling to the point of incoherency. I sat her down with a coffee & waited for the law to arrive. By this time, from the content of her talk I suspected something more than shock was motivating her. I was right.

When the constables came over to the depot, it turns out that the water must have been too cold for her fella, because he got out & buggered off. The pair of them are both very well known to the local law it seems. Well known enough that they were on first name basis. All this woman wanted to do was get to Auckland, to see her daughter who has a P habit. From her behaviour,I suspect the abuse of class A drugs may run in the family. Well, alls well that ends well I guess. The nice lady constable gave her some sound advice on how to get to Auckland in the safest manner & we all parted company. The law went on their lawful way, this lass went off , presumably to a dripping wet fellow somewhere along the line, & I went home to several cold beers, a loving wife & a big feed of mutton chops, cos she knows how much I like my chops

We dont know how lucky we are

Old Fred sure got that one right. Hey we all have hassles & from our own personal perspectives, our own problems are always far more pressing than anyone elses. Every once in a while though reality rears its ugly head and shows us that in reality our own problems fade. One of the freight contracts the company I work for involves the distribution roughly once a month of a pallet of Solutions & associated hardware needed for those folk unfortunate enough to have disfunctional kidneys & needing dialysis. Over the years, I have gotten to know most of them & their stories. Some are very sad, like the young 21 year old currently waiting for a kidney transplant, to the guy who has no one but himself to blame because of a dissolute life style involving the consumption of large quantities of alcohol.

There is one couple , however, who occupy a very soft spot within my heart. They are comparatively elderly, in their 70's I believe, & just absolutely wonderful. Every time I delivered to them I was given either a lovely fresh scone or a piece of home grown fruit. They moved to the particular area they are in to avail themselves of a relaxed lifestyle & do a bit of fishing. Then it all turned to custard. She suffered renal failure & he developed progressive emphysemia. Still nothing was too much trouble. There is a small reserve next to their house & they managed to keep it looking tidy & well planted. When we delivered, he was always waiting at the front with his ride on mower with a small trailor to load the cartons on to to take as far as the back door. You dont mind doing a bit extra for people with heart like that.

Even though I am not permanently on that particular run any more, I have still kept my eye on the freight going through the depot looking for shipments heading their way. I haven't seen any in a while now. Today, as happens once in a while, I had occasion to do that run. Its Ed's run now, but as we need an extra truck for Auckland most evenings now, Ed does two nights a week on that & I do the other 2. I like to do Monday & Wednesday so that I can watch Dr Who. Anyway, today was Ed's day for Auckland, so I did the Waihi run. As there was a delivery down the road where my friends live, I decided to drop in to say gidday & catch up. I was extremely saddened to find out that they had separated & gone their own ways, with him on his own in the house & her resident in Hamilton. I could see the hurt in his eyes as he told me. I would have liked to gone inside with him & sat down for a cuppa & a yarn, but unfortunately I still had a fair bit of freight to kick off, So had to go.

I came home to a lovely meal & a loving wife. As I sat there , I reflected on how I would cope if, perish the thought, I ever happened to lose Herself for any reason. Not terribly well I would suspect.

God I love this song...

Heard it on the way home from Auckland tonight.. I think you all know the catchy little tune


"Star Trekkin'"
by "The Firm" (not the popular group, another one)


Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report!

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock!

Spock:
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again.

Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.

Medical update, Doctor McCoy

McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Spock:
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk

Kirk:
Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.

McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Spock:
Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
scrape 'em off, Jim.

Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engineer, Mister Scott

Scotty:
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics,
laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, [yet|Jim]

Kirk:
Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill!
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
Scotty, beam me up!

McCoy:
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim, Dead!

Spock:
Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again!

Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim!

McCoy: It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!

Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!

Scotty: Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow, Captain!

Scotty: Ye canna change the status of the (auxiliary) ax'l engine eh?!

<>

Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na

Chorus:
Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse!

We come in peace, shoot to kill.

Damn it is sooo good.

Happy Birfday to me...

Had a lovely day today. Brekky in bed care of herself, Wander round the market with a mussel fritter or two followed by coffee at Sola, phone call from Morty & the kids & a lovely suprise visit (mostly) from Richard, Sharon & the kids, so spent a lovely afternoon playing the mad Poppa. After they left, we found where they had conducted a funeral for 3 snails by carefully wrapping each one individually in tissues & interring them under Jude's Magnolia tree. Heard from Sean, which sorta made my day, then went out to the Golden Dragon for tea, all in all a very pleasant way.

Hopefully , I have another day of being spoilt rotten ahead of me tomorrow... Aaaah, the compensations of being a Fathers Day present...

I wants it....

They have been playing the odd track or two from Bob Dylans new album, Modern Times on Hauraki. So far I have heard "When the levee breaks" & "Thunder on the mountain" Both awesome. I have felt that some of his more modern albums have lost some of his characteristic snap, but damn this one is a winner. Good toetappin music. Tuneful as well. Country blues.. I've tried twice on Hauraki to win it, with no luck so far. If I dont win it, I guess I will have to wait till after the weekend, but I am gonna get it one way or another.

Sometimes what you see....

Today, as I drove into a driveway, I thought i saw a German Shepherd dog attack a cat in the garden , the cat narrowly escaping under the house. WRONG .. After I told the lady of the house about it, she said, "Oh no, every time the dog hears a car coming into the driveway, he grabs the cat & stuffs it under the house to get it out of harms way." I bet that cat absolutely detests the sound of a car coming into the drive.. The dog is actually one of the loveliest gentle creatures I have ever met, with a mouth that soft I bet he could just about hold a soap bubble in it. The cat may disagree tho.

While in the Big Smoke today, I saw this most beautiful jet black Sha Pei on the back of his dad's ute. he had this slightly embarrassed look that said,"I really should be inside you know. This is all a terrible misunderstanding. My poor human has had a brainfart of major proportions to leave me out here." Then he did the most beautiful bow & scrape just like Nushie does & curled up to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. I laughed at the personalised plate on the ute.. It read WUSNME. Probably very appropriate

When I got home tonight, Herself informed me that Chloe got her butt kicked this morning, figuratively I would hazard, for licking the topping off her toast at breakfast time. Oh, & while on the subject of weird animals, what would you do with a dog that wont eat his tea unless we are soaking in the spa pool ??? True as I sit here ..

One thing that really rips my nighty

Tonight was one of the rare nights that I watched our current affairs program at 7.00 pm. They were covering the unfortunate death of a 17 year old boy in the back of a security van being transported within the justice system as a prisoner in the company of two other older males. The thing that really pissed me off was this... They were interviewing this pathetic excuse for a mother that finally did the Tough Love thing with her eldest boy after he used physical violence to both her & her husband. What pissed me off was her saying, "I dont think that my partner & I would still be married if he had stayed here." I mean, what the fuck ???? A partner is something you have in a business. If you are married, you have a WIFE or a HUSBAND. What is wrong with having stood up & made serious promises to another human being ? In my view, once you have done that, the relationship progresses to something beyond a "partnership." For goodness sake, be PROUD of the fact that you have done this.

This womans son has, despite time in a corrections center & a wishy washy mother, reputedly turned in to a good human being. Know what the kicker is ? Now this woman is having the same problems with her younger son & is going down the same route with him. Motherly love combined with structure & discipline are a good set of bones to hang a parent/child relationship on. She obviously hasnt learnt the basic Tough Love lesson that parents & children are NOT created equal. Parents have the right to say what goes in their home & stick to it.

End of rant.

Busy as a bee with a bum full of honey

I thought that after the fortnight that I have had, a weekend of relaxation , reading, sunshine & lazing in the spa pool would be in order right? Wrong . You see, I havent learnt. One has only to THINK the words,"Garage Sale" around here for hordes of well meaning relatives to descend raining boxes of goodies that they no longer have any use for. This creates an inescapable cycle of stuff accumulating that there isnt really any earthly use for. Eventually in a paroxym of self defence, one is grudgingly forced to mutter words along the lines of, "OK, we are having a garage sale this Saturday" & convert a useful & comfortable garage into something that resembles a cross between the local recycling center & a modern Egyptian Bazaar, or is that spelt bizaare.

Be that as it may, I had time on my hands on Wednesday to gently potter & get things organised. Herself was sent on a mission Thursday morning to lodge an advert in our local 3 minute silence, only to be told, "Sorry, the deadline for ads is 10 AM Wednesday." Who the hell has their excrement sufficiently assembled by THAT time to adequately predict their weekend? All was not lost however, as our local radio station has a free ad service for garage sales at 8 am Saturday morning. This coupled with some agressive marketing ploys,(handpainted signs either side of a power pole on the main road & a sign at the gate) ensured a steady dribble of customers, a nice sit in the sun, a catch up with old friends, & enough income to make spending a Saturday morning sitting in the sun well worth while . A few items cleverly presented on our Sunday morning garage sale on our local radio again, provided some more income.

This enabled yours truly to make a pilgrimage to our local discount timber place for the purchase of some garden edging. You see, herself has decided that she has had enough of the current savage price increases in vegetable prices & is going to extend our vegetable garden. I dont have a problem with this, as I rather enjoy eating produce that is still sunwarm & that you have grown yourself. Also in a sudden rush of blood to the head, I did a bit more work towards finishing my "Alice in Wonderland" rock garden. All that is left now is to obtain a trailor load of small rocks to spread & to assemble my Mad Hatters Tea Party. I sorta thought that a photo of our dinner table when the Grandkids are here would be enough , but reason prevailed & I guess I will do the little arrangement that I initially envisaged.

All this was followed by a trip to our local "Refuse & Recycling Center" Herself had assembled a nice little trailor load of organic waste to dispose of. We did , however, bring back more than we took as they process organic waste through a giant mulcher , convert it to compost & make it available at no cost to anyone who wants it. If they arent too busy, they will even load it for you as well. Damn good recycling I say.

Have had an email from my youngest son, Ian. He & his wife , Leasa, have quit their jobs just outside London, packed their belongings into a station wagon they have bought, & set of on the grand tour of Europe. They have done Paris, round all the sights, Arc De Triumphe, Eiffel Tower, River Seine by night, & the perverts paradise, the Moulin Rouge. Not saying he's a pervert mind, just that he has as healthy an interest in the naked or semi naked female form as his Dad. He has also done the obligatory pilgrimage to Jim Morrisons grave while there & a very reverential walk along the beaches of Dunkirk. Said it was an awesome experience. He is at present staying in a small cottage in the South of France courtesy of an acquaintance that he made at the pub that he worked at. Next stop is Valencia in Spain for the tomato throwing festival. From there , I think he is going to lose a few days in Amsterdam, & eventually drift on down to Munich in time for the Oktoberfest.

Listening to.. Whatever Hauraki serves up, at the moment an accoustic version of "Blue Lady" by Hello Sailor

Reading, The Painted House, by John Grisham. An awesome book. probably the best of his that I have read.

Looking forward to, A dip in the spa soon with herself & the release of Bob Dylan's new album

Scary shit man..

I think my computer must have eaten too many cookies or something. You see, all on its own, its decided to have a cyber barf & its hoiked up all my stored log ons & passwords & flushed em all down the dunny or somewhere. Every page that I go to that has stored passwords etc, I need to log on again to. The worst was here . You see, I thought my log on name was my usual Flatcat3, but its not. I spent a very insecure 10 minutes or so till I figured out that it was actually Flattie that I sign on as.

So I'm happy now, sitting here with my cyber thumb in my mouth clutching my blog blanket to the side of my head a la Linus, but all is well now. I'm sitting here writing rubbish with Radio Hauraki turned up loud with some kickass rock basically as an excuse to drown out the TV from the next room. Jude is taking her weekly dose of mincing lisping posing poofters.. Forgive me for being homophobic on this occasion, but the drama queens on queer eye for the straight guy really give me the shits. Why anyone would want to surrender to their ministrations is beyond me. Still live & let live I guess. Jude bless her doesnt say a word when I want to watch Dr Who & Monster Garage, even tho she finds the latter as exciting as watching paint dry. Me, I have kinda gotten to like Jesse James & his sense of the outrageous with some of the things he turns perfectly good vehicles into. He also has a heart of gold as shown by some of the projects he gets involved with & the people he helps.

Another one of me poems

DEVILS ADVOCATE

You say that you're for conservation
well alright thats fine.
You say dont cut our native trees
just fell the humble pine.
"Leave the Kauri proud to stand,"
I hear you cry & moan.
I hear your cry my Greeny friend,
just leave our trees alone.
I've listened now for year on year,
I'm tired dont you see.
I've heard your bloody arguments,
you've told them all to me.
Just let me put to you some facts
I think that you should know'
My Dad has worked the bush for years
with body bent & bowed.
A wife he had & two small kids
support them how you can.
Jobs back then weren't easy come
no dole queues close at hand.
You had to work or you dont eat,
a simple fact of life.
No time for man to make a stand
on anything but life.
You're not a fool, but formal school
at twelve years had to end.
A job you see it had to be
at any cost my friend.
So dont bleat on how its all gone
and nothing left for you,
while sitting in your Lockwood home
admiring all the view.
Your farm just wouldnt be around
if not for men like Dad.
You're not fit, you little shit
to lick the boots he never had.

I wrote this poem some years ago when a mining company wanted to reopen an old mine about 5 km up the valley we were living in. The only intrusion into the landscape would have been a 2 metre square shaft driven into the hillside to connect with the old workings. There is that much gold in there that the drill bits used on the test holes were coming up clogged solid with pure gold. From the shaft, an overhead cable way was going to take the ore for around 1 km down to an existing roadway. This roadway , incidentally was going to be upgraded & sealed, thus providing better access to some beautiful parts of the Coromandel Forest Park, including a stunning grove of mature Kauri trees. Two truckloads of ore a day would be taken to a processing site on the Hauraki Plains. The area concerned was basically first stage regrowth from logging at the turn of the century, mainly gorse, bracken & ti tree, as such not an area of virgin bush worth preserving at all costs. With all this, jobs would have been created for locals as well. All in all, a win win situation.

But no. Local greenys who didnt even bloody well LIVE in the valley posed that many objections to the scheme that it was shelved. I could give you more examples of mindless unthinking opposition to beneficial projects being canned for similar reasons, (i.e. Whangamata marina,) but dont get me started. Anyway, this is me, this is how I feel about some things, no apologies offered. I believe we have a magnificent country & have no wish to see it raped as other countries have been. Having said that, I believe that careful management of natural resources can provide income & prosperity at all levels.

Hello, my name is James & i'm a chauvinist

Its been one hour since I did a chauvinistic act. I made my wife a cup of tea & took it to her in bed. I'm also guilty of such Chauvinistic acts as opening car doors for her, not letting her chop firewood & good naturedly growling at her if she happens to mow the lawn for me. I also take out the trash when I remember. Oh yes, I also refer to her as "My Wife" which implies some sort of possession. She retaliates by calling me "My Husband."

We both believe that everything God does he does with a purpose. If He (note the masculine form here ) intended man & woman to perform the same tasks in life, he would have built us more or less the same. He didnt. Women are built for carrying kids. Men are built for making them . Men have big feet so they dont get bogged down in the mud hunting Bisons. Women have little feet so they can stand up close to the kitchen bench, although I have been guilty of the abuse of food preparation in a kitchen on a regular basis.

Seriously, I believe that we have been created different, but complimentary to each other. It therefore makes sense to me that we stick to the chores that God intended us to do. I spent a lot of years in the permanent Fire Service, & was stationed with one of the two female firefighters that we had at the time. She was very competent & did her job as well as anyone with one exception. No matter how she worked out she just didnt have the upper body strength for some of the jobs that needed doing & Firemen are chauvinistic enough that there was always someone there to say ,"Here, let me do that." Nice as it was, this really isnt good in a situation where safety depends on everyone doing what they are supposed to do.

I must be doing something right, because Jude enjoys being treated as something special with me blustering my way in & doing stuff that I dont think she should be doing. It pays off, because she treats me with love & respect as well. So yeah, I'm a male chauvinist. I guess that makes Jude a female chauvinist as well, because she thinks there are things that ladies do better than men. I'm lucky I suppose, that I have the sense to acknowledge that & let her do them, the way that she lets me do that which I consider to be my stuff. All in all an extremely satisfactory arrangement I would have thought.

I saw this

And it seemed strangely relevant somehow....

Sit & Stay

Most Wednesdays I end up doing the Waihi run in the afternoon. This is to enable Ed to go home early & have a break in case he has to do an evening shuttle run for the excess Auckland freight. He doesnt mind doing this bless him, as to quote him, "I dont have a life anyway." The extra cash to go towards his Thailand holiday helps. Me I like to go home & be with my darling of an evening. Anyway, I digress. On my way home I pass through a little township called Hikutaia. In the church grounds there, TVDOC meets. What is TVDOC I hear you say? Thames Valley Dog Obedience Club is what. The thing I consistently notice here is that without exception, all the attendees are women. Why is that?

I could be sticking my neck out a tad here but I have a theory or two.. Is it because your average tripehound knows that a command from a male if not obeyed is usually followed up by a swift boot in the slats so therefore obedience equals expedience? Could it be the deepness of voice of the command as opposed to a pleasantly worded request? For example... He.... "SIDDOWN YA BLOODY FLEABITTEN MUNG OR I'LL KNOCK YER BLOODY BLOCK OFF!." as opposed to ,"Sit ,Poopsy sit,there's a good little poochykins."Dont really have that same ring of authority does it? Then again , it could be that charming feminine habit of wanting other creatures to do exactly what they are told to do. Anyway, it seems a mite strange to me that grown women are willing to stand around in a paddock while their precious little darlings sniff each others butts & indulge in the odd spot of leg humping. Whats the point ? They could & should be home cooking their husbands dinner. Maybe they have hubbys obedient enough that all they need to be told is "Cook george, cook!" Not in this household anyway.. Waddaya reckon ????