Paddington on Protest

Paddington pays Homage to the Great Bard before starting the Great March.....


This morning Jude, Paddington, Myself, my youngest son Ian, Leasa his wife, & Conaire The cute protested. We protested to the point of chanting slogans & marching in the street. We protested at the lack of progress in pay & condition award talks for secondary school teachers. Why did we do it ? Well my son is a secondary teacher & my wife used to be a special needs instructor within the school system, so I really didnt have agreat deal of option. Anyway, Paddington said we should.

Sadly, the press seem to focus on them wanting.....gasp, wait for it, a 4% wage rise. There are a lolt of other issues as well, such as class sizes, preparation time & all the extracurricular stuff that teac hers do that they don't get paid for. Dont forget also that the system relies heavily on volunteers to help with students outside the acceptible square. I see teachers a lot like the firefighters were when I first joined the service. Underpaid, over worked, reliant on the help of unskilled amateurs, & dedicated to their profession. Good on ya guys, hang in there. You're all worth every last thing you can extract from a system that doesn't seem capable of appreciating your worth..

Thoughts & reflections on reaching the venerable age of sixty

It's been a lovely spring day here in Dunedin. The sort of day that encourages sitting in the sun thinking, so that is what I have been doing. That is of course in between hanging out washing, cuddling grandchildren & going to the supermarket & finally giving in to temptation & going in to the Danish Bakery Shop to buy lunch. You know how it goes don't you ?

I've decided that there is something very special about reaching the grand old age of 60. OK, so it's not really anything special any more, i mean you can't even retire when you hit 60 now, you have to keep on slogging away for another 5 years, well most of us anyway. But I have decided that special it is & special it has been for me. Although events are dictating that life is probably going to be difficult for us both in the next year or so, our enforced inactivity here in Dunedin has provided us with some absolutely wonderful times, giving us the chance to really get to know both my son's wonderful families. One of the most special things in my life, short of finding Jude, has been sitting down with my family around me, the older ones talking, the little ones playing. Unless you have experienced it for yourself, it's difficult to explain how fulfilling it is.

I've learn't some lessons too. I've learn't how much my sons love me. I've learnt that I am not 9 foot high & bullet proof. I've learnt that because you have you have grey in your whiskers, people tend to think you are somehow wiser than you possibly are. Sometimes, I don't feel any wiser than what i was when i was 21. A lot less impulsive, maybe, but not a lot wiser either. I've also learnt that getting a tattoo doesnt hurt as much as you would think. My biggest lesson iis that it is vitally important, especially when away from home, that I take really good care of myself. The time that I have spent with my arm in plaster has possibly been one of the most frustrating times in my life. If it wasn't for my boys, it would be very punishing financially as well. Its been frustrating because I have had to let Jude fend for herself in areas where I would normally help, so I don't know. Maybe I am a little wiser than I was. Life, I suppose, teaches us its own lessons. it's up to us largely wether we choose to accept them & learn from them I guess

And the Earth did Move

Its a lot of years since I have been woken by an earthquake. I dont particularly like them. This stems from a tine as a young man when I was sleeping rough in the bush. Just a gtoundsheet thrown down on the ground & a sleeping bag to crawl into. It scared me then & it still scares me. Yes, we felt it in Dunedin. Quite vigorously & for what seemed an eternity. We were lucky though, we could roll over & go back to sleep. I made sure that Jude was awake too. Not for any altruistic safety reasons, just so that I wouldn't have to be scared on my own. It wsn't until the next morning that the magnitude of the disaster started to penetrate. And disaster it was, & still is with heartrending stories by the dozen. I could fill a whole blog with stories about houses family pets, vehicles, farms , lucky escapes, sad stories by the truckload, but other more compeetent reporters have done it all better & more vividly than I can. Suffice it to say that my personal involvement was two dear friends there who have both come out unscathed. Also that my heartfelt sympathies go to those concerned

We are basically filling time here till the 16th, when hopefully the cast will come off my arm. Its not wasted time though. We are now staying with my eldest son, Sean, his lovely wife Susan& our two grandchildren, Anna & Alex. Its been good so far, getting to know the little ones for the first time really & doing what we can to help ease the load a little. Every day we try to do something different. Today we went & sat on the waterfront at St., Clairs beach & watched the waves crashing in against the seawall, the gulls soaring in an onshore breeze & the couple of optimistic surfers willing to try their hand against Mother nature. It was good time out.

Expendables

If what you are after is a bit of mindless violence, lots of shooting, flames & blowing stuff up, then this is the movie for you. It could be called rightly the pensioner action hero tax benefit movie, because they are all there to a greater or lesser degree. Not a huge lot of plot, but good music lots of action, not a huge amount of meaningful dialogue, pretty girls, loud powerful guns & a team of old pros who take on a whole island full of baddies without anyone getting killed. OK, so there is the odd flesh wound & some very nasty paper cuts from trying to read scripts & possibly a bit of wind burn, but everybody survives except the baddies of course.

Herself & I went to see it in Dunedin today. A good way to fill in s couple of hours on s dreary drizzly Dunedin day & also a good way not to get too far under foot for my ever tolerant daughter in law. Oh yeah, got a good deal or two on some sale items at the Warehouse as well. Just another cruisy day in Dunners, but roll on the 16th when we should be able to plug on with our trip. That is, if the bloody radiographers arent still on strike.....

Pretty much the best birthday & Fathers Day ever

Those of you who follow my blog will know that I celebrated my birthday in royal & Dubious fashion last Saturday night. Those of you who know me will also know that my birthday wasn't actually till Thursday. its still a wonderment to me that I have reached the age that used to be considered retirement age. Still, only another 5 years to go I guess.

Not wanting the actual occasion to go unnoticed, we decided on a somewhat quieter & more family oriented evening at a local hostelry. The food was a mixed bag. I must say that I was disappointed with my main, a T bone steak as was my eldest son who had the same. Leasa was also sadly let down with a venison pie that was sadly lacking in seasoning. The high point for me was the effort that the front of house staff went to looking after Jude. They were really great, being attentive & actually listening to what we asked for. sadly, Jude didn't eat that much. I am rapidly reaching the conclusion that she needs peace & quiet with no distractions whatsoever so that she can concentrate fully on the actual eating process, not that she actually eats very much anyway, but she diid manage a little scrambled egg & some pavlova. so anyway, here we are, my family..
The only one missing is Anna. She is such an energetic wee thing that it was deemed much easier to leave her at home with a baby sitter. Fathers Day was spent in a laid back fashion at Seans house, where we are now staying. Both of my sons have made huge efforts to ensure that their old Dad & Jude have a truly memorable holiday with them. My heart is filled with joy & gratitude & my eyes are filled with tears. Both Jude & I will have some very happy memories to cover the tough times ahead

Boozers, Beneficiaries & Bankrupts

A cautionary tale concerning the fortunes, travails & mishaps involved in the celebration via libations of the 60th birthday of your humble scribe. last Saturday night, I set out in fine style accompanied by my two stalwart sons & the father in law of one of said sons. Our mission statement was to imbibe copious quantities of alcohol, sample the many & varied fleshpots of the fine city of Dunedin, (And they are many & divers) & generally celebrate my official old age in appropriate fashion.

This we did well & truly, ending the evening with the traditional sustenance ingested at the place of traditional sustanance, a guard against feeling the slightest pangs of hunger while homeward bound. Thus seriously fortified & well nourished, we set a course for transport & home, line abreast down the main thoroughfare all feeling 10 feet tall & immune to the slings & arrows of outrageous fortune. Thus did chivalrous feelings rise to the breast when a damsel in distress was spied. The young serf accompanying her was ill treating her sorely in both a physical & verbal fashion that caused us all much distress. Espying chance, we acted as one to separate said lout from young maiden & allow her respite.

Yea the young lout was most distressed at this & circumvented our line landing a mighty blow to the side of the head of one of our company, who is of similar age to myself & likewise ocularly impaired. He then took to his scrapers in fine style. My youngest son, being suitably enraged followed in hot pursuit. throwing verbal accusations & challenges in his wake, sadly to no avail. This is where the tragic part comes in. Not to be outdone, I added my efforts to the pursuit. Sadly, the top half of my body was able to move faster that the bottom half, resulting in a thunderous collision between myself & the footpath.

On rising the following morning, it became plainly evident that something was sorely amiss with the elbow of my sword arm. A visit to the local order of Hospitallers confirmed this. Fractures of the radial head & ulna & the wrapping of said joint in white fibrous stuff have rendered yours truly Hors De Combat for at least till the 16th., of September, when a visit to the fracture clinic should reveal all. A sad cautionary tale that proves that alcohol, good times & good company does not render one 10 foot tall & bullet proof

A night out at the Brook

Well, we have been here in Dunedin nearly a week now. Aside from resting up, which I have found absolutely necessary for both of us, we have been spending some real quality time with my youngest son, Ian, his delightful wife Leasa & their oh so charming daughter, Conaire. We have done bit of looking around & spent a wonderful afternoon with them in the park & Botanical Gardens, feeding ducks & just enjoying sunshine & fresh air. Sadly, anything other than strictly local has had to be curtailed. At least until tomorrow anyway. You see, Sherman has started to haemhorrage body fluids. Nothing major, just a leaking bottom radiator hose I hope, but enough to make me reluctant to go anywhere out of town.

But tonight we went out. Tonight I took Jude to The House Of Pain. To the uninitiated, that’s Carisbrooke Rugby Park, the soon to be demolished home of many bitter battles in New Zealand rugby. Not one of those dubious places where you go for a tie up & a quick whip round. It wasn’t a major game or anything, just a mid week ITM super 12 match between the home team, Otago & the visitors, Taranaki, but it was one of those beautiful nights that are just made for Rugby. You know the type, crisp clean & clear, with a low enough temperature to make you glad that you have your warmest scarf & jacket on, not to mention those rather unfashionable striped long john thermals you bought before you left.

Anyway, we had a great time. The crowd was light so that meant easy parking clo9se to the gate & seating in a special area reserved for wheelchairs. The game wasn’t exactly edge of the seat material, but just the atmosphere was everything. My bum ended up frozen, but Jude really enjoyed it & that’s the main thing

Too much of nothing

That just about sums up our trip from Christchurch to Dunedin. Basically, a long boring road, with small rural communities dotted here & there. The one good thing about it was that there are two coffee shops along the way fhat you can stop, stretch your legs & help yourself to a very welcome free coffee. The best thing that can be said is the getting there & being reunited with my sons & their respective wives & children. A long hard couple of days for the pair of us.

Meeting my new grandson, Alexander Lawrence Leslie for the first time. A very emotional experience......

My three grandchildren. Anna, Alex & Conaire, being coralled into one place at one time by Leasa, one of my two lovely daughters in law.

GREAT SOUTHERN LAND

As I said we set sail for Christchurch. Up through the hills out of Picton & into the fog we wound our way up hill & down dale, chatting on the CB to some very friendly truckies along the way. We had us a lovely drive, & once we were down out of the fog & back into the sunshine, we started to relax & enjoy ourselves, marveling at the seemingly never ending vineyards that kept on rolling past. Sadly this part of the journey ended in a bit of a scare. As you come into Blenheim, you round a corner & come on to a nice wide 2 lane bridge over the river & into the town. All very pretty. That is, at least till the point when you, following another car, encounter a Fire Appliance at full song straddling the white line. The driver in front panics & slams on the brakes, & you have no option but to follow suit, being showered in a heap of luggage that slides forward. No damage was done except to pride & temper fortunately, but sorry guys, there was no need for you to be driving in that manner & sadly, you lot genuinely deserve the appellation “Trogs”

After soothing ruffled feathers & restowing luggage & doing a couple of other bits & pieces, we continued our merry way.

If ever a strech of coastline deserves to be called “stunning,” it is certainly the Kaikoura coast line. Sadly, the cloud was a bit low & we couldn’t see the Seaward Kaikoura mountains for the full effect, but the coastline more than compensated. Wild rocky coastline with ocean rollers crashing in always makes for dramatic scenery. Add to that the thrill of seeing our first wild seals & you had a perfect afternoon. We had a little scare there that drove home to me how frail Jude is getting & how much I love her. I convinced her to walk down a little rough track so that she could better see a colony of about 100 seals. She managed that OK, but on the way back to Sherman, she caught one foot in some long grass & fell, landing on her knees first & couldn’t get up again.

It was a scary few minutes until I managed to get her up again, all the while wondering what the hell I was going to do if I couldn’t. Truly, adrenaline is a wonderful gift. Turns out she could have safely stayed in the wagon, as a couple of Km’s down the road I was able to pull off to the side close to the fence & all she had to do was lean out the window, look straight down & there they were about 2 meters away.




We had to stop at “Nin’s Bin.” That’s the little blue caravan that sells the best cooked crayfish on the coast. While there, Paddington insisted on having his photo taken with a crayfish, even though it was very scary.

Once we got to Christchurch, our priority was a motel. We were both very tired & a little shaky., We followed the signs to the center of town & basically picked a motel at random, The Salerno. Lady luck smiled on us, as we couldn’t have picked a nicer place. Once I had made our requirements know, the manager showed us a lovely ground floor unit that had a full disability walk in bathroom. Although we didn’t go out for tea, Jeff came to see us & we had a lovely catch up. If you do stay there, & you order breakfast, bring your appetite. They serve bloody good feeds. As for Christchurch ? I would hate to try & find my way round there without my Navman. So endeth the first of the two consecutive longest legs of our journey.

WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN

Well, that completes the circle. Years ago, when I first started browsing, I found the Trademe Message Board. Sick of being ignored, I started my own thread…. You guessed it, The Cat House. When the thread staggered finally to a halt after my banning, ( Through no fault of my own I might add,) the regular denizens of the house kept in touch, both electronically & physically. I have now finally met all the regular members of The Cat House in person.

As I said in my last post, we spent the night with Peter, alias Cwnda, & his 3 Australian Kelpies in Picton & a lovely time we had of it. It is very strange to meet someone physically for the first time when you feel that you have in fact known them for years. We had a lovely time & it was with much reluctance that we bid Peter farewell for one of the longest legs of our trip, that from Picton to Christchurch.

Well, here we are aboard the good ship Santa Regina at the Aotea Wharf in Wellington waiting for the off for Picton. Rob assures me that the North wind is good juju for a smooth crossing. He works for Blue Bridge so I guess he would know. Jude is asleep in our cabin, with strict instructions to wake her before we cast off. I don’t think she will want to miss any of the trip. For that matter, I don’t want to miss any of it either.


It’s been an eventful trip so far. I have been fighting a running battle all the way to stop the tiedowns for Jude’s wheelchair drumming & making an unholy racket. I think I’ve beaten it. The secret would appear to be to put a few twists in the straps. It seems to stop it. One of my biggest problems so far has been finding time to jot anything down here. Every time I think I’m OK, someone comes out ready to talk. Not that there is any problem with that.

I should have realized that we were in for a hard time when I found myself packing on Friday the 13th…. Never mind…We got everything in OK, & although it works out that we end up having to take a lot of stuff in at night, I have it to a fine art, with us having one smaller bag each with our day to day needs & another bag with our reserve gear & another bag with our warm gear.

Not to put too fine a point to it, it pissed down on Saturday when we left & continued to do so until we got to the summit of the Napier Taupo Highway. The only real problem That I have encountered while on the road is basically lunch time. Jude is reluctant , & I don’t blame her, to sit & watch me eat in a restaurant, so I have reconciled myself to takeaways for lunch, that I can eat while sitting with her, as for my part, I am reluctant to leave her in Sherman while I go & eat.


Our first visit was with Muna in Hastings, a lovely surprise visit, but sadly, not one where we could stay as we wanted to catch up with Mike & Kaye , Jude’s cousins, & lovelier people & more gracious hosts you couldn’t wish to have. They organized a cousins get together for Jude on the Sunday, & as you can see by the pic, we all had a wonderful time. We also arranged for Paddington to pay a surprise visit to his Aunty Muna which was a lovely treat for us all. The only down side to it was that I left my phone at Mike & Kayes, traveling some 20 or so km’s before I realized. The whole fam damily at Mike & Kayes

Saying goodbye to folk as nice as them is hard enough first time round, but when you have to do it twice, its even worse.


Once we got on the road properly, we headed for Carterton & my cousin Shirley’s place. We detoured via Ongaonga, so that Jude could see where she used to live & where she went to school. While we were there, Paddington made friends with some of the locals.

We had a lovely catchup with Shirl, not long enough, but we will spend more time on the way back. Paddington getting to know Jess





The next leg was a difficult one for Jude. You see
neither of us have ever really had much to do with other MND sufferers, & after a very windy trip over the Rimutaka’s, we arrived at Moira Anne’s place. We came to know her through quite a circuituitous route & our life is richer for it. Moira Anne is a fellow MND sufferer. One who not only has the disease, but who also nursed her Mum through it. She arranged for some friends of hers to come round to meet us, among them, a husband & wife of whom the wife not only has MND, but also has early Alzheimers as well. A most difficult path for them to tread , with her being at a very similar stage of MND as Jude is. Jude found this a little scary, but they are a lovely & much devoted couple & a fine example. Moira Anne is just as lovely in person as she is to talk to via Skype. Thank you my dear for opening your home & your heart to us.

We stayed last night with Heather & Rob. We got to know them via the same route as we did Moira Anne. They nursed Heather’s Mum through MND. Ever since I first spoke to Heather on the phone, I knew we were going to be friends & that was confirmed when we met them. Staying with them was a bit like coming home for us both & we enjoyed our time. It was really great to be able to talk to someone with a carers perspective. I think we both found the talk therapeutic. Another tough goodbye, but eased by the knowledge that we are going to have another night with them on the way back.

So, here we are about halfway across Cook Straight. It’s not particularly rough. Just enough up & down motion to let you know in no uncertain terms that you are actually at sea. Tonight we stay with Peter alias Cwnda, in Picton. Yet another net friend that we have talked to a lot but never actually met.

Paddington on Patrol, part 1, The preparation.

I lost my car keys today, along with my patience & half my hair. You see, I've been packing. We are off on Walkabout, Hikoi of happiness, trip of a lifetime, call it what you will. There has been a lot of preparation & planning for this trip. Really, it started over a year ago when we had this vague idea that we would like to do a big road trip to meet all our online friends & catch up with family & see country that neither of us have seen before. As Jude has now got limited mobility, this has started to assume more importance than ever in our lives.

One of the reasons that we wanted to drive down is that I have a store of family heirlooms & memorabilia that I want to pass on to my sons. Another is that I haven't seen the majority of The South Island other than what you happen to see from the air on the way to Dunedin, what you see from hoofing it round Queen Charlotte Sound & the Rae Valley at Outward Bound & also Dunedin & its immediate environs. Hence the road trip.

Other reasons include a brand new grandson to meet, my 60th birthday to celebrate, and the whole of the West Coast to explore, so it's a biggy.

There has been substantial preparation involved. Aside from ransacking the house for the stuff that I want to take down for my sons, there is stuff like enough library books to read, (substantial) enough medication to last us both for about two months, making sure that Jude has sufficient hardware to keep her PEG functional and most importantly, enough Fortisip to keep Jude well nourished. You see, 95% of her food intake now is Fortisip via her PEG. What we have is two months worth carefully packed in Sherman plus a prescription for an extra months worth that we can get filled in Dunedin when we have the room to get it in.

Its been quite a mission to organise everything. Friends & rellies to bludge a bed from, working out an itinerary, getting my own stuff packed & most importantly, getting Sherman ready & packed to go. Taking out the back seat has given us a lot of extra room. Just enough to ensure that we have enough room, with careful packing & the wheelchair on the roof, to get everything in. Oh Yeah, The wheelchair on the roof. That involved a major. Mu's, which is what Sherman is, aren't really designed to have roof racks. However, a bit of lateral thinking, more than a modicum of patience & a day & a half's fiddling have produced very satisfactory results.

So we're all packed, ready to depart for Hastings about the time that the sparrows are considering breaking wind in the morning. We are staying with one of Jude's cousins for the weekend & they have organised a get together with some of Jude's other cousins in the area. Trust us. The weather is turning to big sockfuls of cold custard as of tomorrow, but never mind.. We are on holiday....
Paddington is wondering if Sherman can spare enough room for a small suitcase & a VERY well behaved Bear...

Busy As

Sorry I haven't been here much, but I've been busy. What started out as a fairly leisurely sort of year has accelerated at a frightening pace. Its nearly half over & yet again , there are so many things that I haven't done yet. One thing has happened though that I am very proud of. My blog entry entitled "walking the line" has been published in the regional MN society newsletter & National headquarters has asked permission to publish it in the national news letter. I'm happy about that. If someone else in similar circumstances can draw solace from it, then I will be happy.

We had a week up North with some very dear friends last week. This is the view from the lounge of the apartment at Paihia that we stayed in..
Pretty awesome huh? From there, we got to see all sorts of beautiful boats & people up paragliding. Grant & Annette spoiled us rotten & it was lovely to have a few days away from responsibility & decision making. We took our boat up with us & had a lovely day exploring the harbour. Grant & Annette also took us over on the car ferry & gave us the Cooks tour of Russell. So amazing to actually be in a place where so much history happened. The only slight disappointment was that some individuals decided they needed our fishing gear more than we did & helped themselves to it by dark of night. Always assuming that you are literate & may someday actually READ this, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits for eternity. You have cast a blemish on a place that is just absolutely entrancing & are now in possession of a treasured rod & reel that was bought for me as a present by my darling wife more years ago than I care to remember.

So we are home. It's a bit of a shambles here at the moment, because this is happening.



Hopefully it wont be like this much longer. The cabinets are as finished as they can be, the dishwasher is sitting in the lounge, the vinyl is going down tomorrow & Friday & I have finally finished all the damn painting... YES !!!! Now I can finally start to catch up on all the things that have been neglected since we started creating this monster, like lawns, firewood, gardening, weeding, compost..........

Welcome To Our World...

Alexander Laurence Leslie. Born today by Caesarian section, 2010gms. A beautiful wee grandson, proud parents, proud Grandad....... Yeah.....

Thoughts on interior decorating

I can now understand wht Adolf Hitler gave up interior decorating in favour of world domination. It has to be an easier call. We are in the throes of redecorating & rebuilding our kitchen, with the ultimate aim of getting a dishwasher installed. our present kitchen is a totally impractical layout with very little storage, so the design is being very radically changed. We are going from a somewhat hodgepodge arrangement of blue, white, brown & varnished pine to a nice clean black & white layout.

This is very nice, but it involves extensive use of paint brushes & other interior decorating tools that I'm not enthusiastic about. I wasn't all that thrilled about the tearing up of vinyl bit either. I don't mind the odd bit of tinkering about with carpentry that is needed & we will be away for the duration of the actual installation process. Once that is done, all that will be needed is the new vinyl laying. Then will come the discussion/negotiation/arguing about where everything goes & what to keep & what to heave..

I've got to go now. My troops are waiting. They say they won't go into Poland without me being there.....

We've got rain.

Good heavy down splattery chase the leaves down the gutter soak into the garden & do the plants good put a raincoat on rain. Boy do we need it. We have had spits & spats of it with the first real rain on Thursday night. Fattums our little ginger lady cat came in all excited, soaked to the hide to tell me about it... "dad, Dad, it's raining dad, come outside & sit on the lawn with me & get wet dad." She does so love the rain.

Meanwhile we have had a very successful garage sale. I am very proud of my little darling. She has finally accepted that she isn't going to be doing any bottling again any time soon & has let me sell all of her beloved preserving jars. It wasn't an easy call for her. She stayed inside till they were all gone. I felt sad for her, but relieved to be able to free the space up in the garage.

Walking the line

It's been 12 months near as dammit since I made a totally irrevocable decision with regards to my life. It was May last year that I took the incredibly big plunge & handed in my notice for my driving job. I don't consider myself unemployed though. I have become a full time carer for my darling wife Judith, who now has Motor Neuron Disease in the form of Pseudo Bulbar Palsey. It has & still does take a lot of getting used to. Its not easy not hearing her say, "I love you" any more. Its not easy seeing someone who loves embroidery & patchwork not able to do her own bra strap up any more. & it's not easy seeing someone who used to be able to haul in a 5 lb snapper have to use both hands to lift 2 liters of milk.

There are a lot of things that aren't easy about it. Some people seem to think that because she can't speak, she can't hear & is mentally impaired as well & I include some health care professionals here. Early on in our voyage down our particular path, we had a well meaning spiritually inclined friend say to her, "oooh, spirit must want you really badly to do something like that to you.." personally, my pet dislikes are, "oooh, I don't know how you cope." Well, I got news for you. I don't know how I cope either. "Ooooh, I've been through that & I know what you have ahead & its not easy." I know that, but then again neither is bringing up children easy, but you grow into it. You have 9 months to get used to this amorphous expanding lump that slowly but subtely takes over your life. When it's born, the take over is a lot less subtle & a lot more accelerated. I see MND as being something similar.

It starts off as something innocuous, in our case a visit to the doctor regarding shortness of breath & has grown from there. As the symptoms increased, so to did our range of illnesses to choose from. By the time that a concrete diagnosis was first given, we both knew in our heart of hearts that this was serious & that there wasn't going to be any sort of quick fix. I remember vividly going to work the day after I read about what she had & what it involved. I remember trying to tell my Boss about it & bursting into soul wracking sobs as the reality finally sunk in.

A new friend that I have made on line who lost her Mum to MND gave me possibly the best piece of advice I have been given. Don't waste time grieving now. Celebrate & live every day that you have together. Grieving can come later. I guess that if you knew the harsh realities of what drastic changes having a new born babe in your life was going to make, you would possibly have somewhat more serious thoughts about having one. You look at a parent changing a crappy nappy & think, "Yuck, I couldn't do that." Somehow when the time comes & it's your own flesh & blood, you do it without a thought.

Just so with someone you love that has been diagnosed with a progressive illness. I don't actually want to know the gory details of what will happen in the future. I'm too busy living today. I do know that my darling is going to become more & more dependent on my help as time passes. I do know that I will be able to cope with it when I have to. I know this because I have coped thus far. I feel for the partners of people who wake up next to a heart attack or a stroke victim. They have to learn to cope with it in one rather nasty lump. At least we are growing into this disease together. Yes, I do still wake at 3.00 in the morning absolutely terrified & have to get up & do stuff to take my mind off it. Yes, I do still wallow in a mutual form of self pity thinking,"Why us?" But I get over it.

From somewhere inside I find what I need to get out of bed every morning & do what I have to do every day. So don't pity me, or tell me how hard it's going to be in the near future. I don't need that. What I do need is a pat on the shoulder & a reassurance that I'm doing a good job. Don't get me wrong here, I do get plenty of that, but the moral support from it is amazing. I used to be surprised at people asking me how I was coping, but not any more. There are a lot of wonderful people out there who genuinely do care, both in & out of the Health Sector. I guess like anything, if people see you genuinely trying, they will offer help.

Where is all this leading ? I'm not really sure. If you are a victim or caregiver, this may strike a chord with you somewhere. Take heart & remember that for every well intentioned bungler, there are10 or more out there who will give you what you need. My first father in law was an ex air force armourer. They had a dog Latin motto for their unit that read,"Nil Bastidium Carborundum." Meaning ? Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Quack Quack....

Judging by the lack of gunfire the last couple of mornings, I would say that the ducks are well ahead on points so far this season. The weather has been absolutely beautiful so far. Okay, so we had a bit of rain later on Saturday morning that produced a frenzied bout of shooting from the river, but all in all, I think the ducks are well ahead on points so far, which pleases me. Yes, I've heard the arguments that they need to be culled at least once a year, but I still prefer to see parents with their children feeding them at the little reserve just along the road from home. They don't taste that good anyway. The ducks that is, not the children.

When we lived down the coast at Waiomu, we used to have an old Mama Duck that used to bring her clutch of ducklings over the road from the camping ground every year to meet us. She would sit back a bit & let us feed her babies with bread soaked in water which they would eat from your hand. I only ever succumbed to temptation once & picked one up. The mothers distress was considerable & culminated in her beating my legs with her wings & doing her very best to peck me with her somewhat blunt beak. I put the little one down very carefully & gave Mum a nice bit of bread to soothe her ruffled feathers.

Yes, I like ducks. They always remind me of the words that my Mother put in my autograph book. (Remember those?) They were quite the craze for a while when I was at school. I guess facebook & twitter & co., have supplanted them somewhat. I don't know what happened to my autograph book. I rather suspect that it submerged somewhere along the line in the detritus of a life marked by countless moves & a marriage breakup. I had the odd good signature in it too. Anyway, what my Mum wrote in it was this... "Jamie, always behave like the duck. Keep calm & unruffled on the surface, but paddle really hard underneath."

Lest We Forget

Lets not forget it wasn't only World War 1. God rest the boys that died this morning in an old Iroquios. One of the ones you see in Only 19. Yep thats how old they are. My heart goes out to their families

Full Steam Ahead

We've had a busy couple of weeks. Well, that's my excuse anyway & I'm sticking to it. For the first time probably ever , Jude & I spent Easter apart. I had some work to do for a dear friend that she couldn't help me with, so she went up to Auckland & spent some wonderful quality time with her children & grand children while I did what I had to do & went up Tuesday to overnight & collect her. Which brings me to my first animal observation. Her daughter has a small back Shi Tzu puppy. he is a bit of a disappointment to them as he isn't the lap dog they wanted. If Kobe lies down with his head on your foot then you are indeed privileged. So the little chap has developed an affection for Jude. Just loves her in fact. Loves her so much that nobody got any sleep til about 4.00 Am on the Tuesday night. In the end, we brought him into our bedroom & put him up on our bed. He promptly snuggled up to Jude & happily went to sleep. Strange indeed are the workings of a small canine brain.



This weekend gone we spent in Waikato Hospital. Jude got kitted up for a VPAP machine. It looks a little like one of those budget bagless vacuum cleaners that a certain red chainstore sell. I would guess that it's probably worth substantialy more though. She now wears a mask to bed that provides a slightly pressurised supply of humidified air to her that is available on demand. Once she gets used to it, her sleep will be a lot more refreshing than it has been. For some time now, her breathing has been very laboured & she has had to sleep more than usual to get her rest. The difference in her respiration so far is remarkable.

Which leads me to my second animal story. This is Fattums, one of the Ginger Ninja's performing her latest self imposed duties.

She has taken it upon herself every night now to supervise Jude when she goes to sleep. While Jude is reading or watching TV she will curl up at the foot of the bed very patiently. As soon as Jude makes her go to sleep preparations, she comes up & sits on the pillow. There she will stay until she is satisfied that her precious Mummy is asleep. Then she quietly goes off back down to the foot of the bed & goes to sleep. This worked fine right up till the first night Jude used the VPAP. Then it was, " OMIGOD MUMMY YOU'VE GOT AN OCTOPUS ON YOUR FACE..... GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF I DON'T LIKE IT, MAKE IT GO AWAY...." Up until last night that is. You see the mask has a vent on one side as a combination exhalation valve & excess air vent. There is a reasonable strong current of nice cool hydrated air comes out of it. So what did I see? One little ginger cat sitting up on the pillow with her head in the airflow obviously enjoying the fresh air. A bit like having your head out the car window without all the stress & trauma of having to actually go in the beastly thing I guess.

This is a picture of Jude's flash new toy.
Pretty flash Huh? Pat Simpson, our guardian angel come Neurology Nurse also arranged consultations with all sorts of ologists & icians while we were there so we have come away with fresh optimism & abilities to cope with things like diet & such. So onwards & upwards I guess..