When I paint my masterpiece

I had a really good think about what I was going to do with myself every day when I finished work. I came to the decision that I was going to have to set myself a list of chores to be done & make certain that I accomplish something tangible each day. So far, its not really working out all that terribly well. You see, there is an awful lot of paperwork & interfacing with officialdom in order to sort out our new life. I don't do paperwork or interfacing all that terribly well. I have always left that part of our partnership up to Herself. Over the years, she has had to do some really crappy jobs on my behalf either because I haven't been there, or because I have felt mentally inadequate to cope with things.

It's a hell of a step up, therefore, for me to actually sit down & talk to people that directly affect our future. I am doing it, but its not easy. What is happening at the moment is that the morning is spent interfacing, & the afternoon is spent inter resting. I guess its probably a backlash from the past few months of trying to hold a job down & trying to keep things together at home. I'm not too worried by it. I figure that I must need the rest, so I take it. Once everything is sorted & once I have done the next two weeks for work, then I will have time.

Time to spend with Herself. Time to do the gardening that she is no longer capable of doing. Time to build all the garden edging & mowing strips & fences that she has been promised for the last 5 years or so. Time to sit down & practice with my guitar for half an hour a day. Time to live the life that we dreamed of in retirement. One thing is for sure. Neither of us are going to spend our time grieving for what might have been. We are going to celebrate what is.

As Dylan said, "It ain't no use to sit and wonder why babe."