Tuesday was a down day. I was doing OK. Right up to the point where the undertaker dropped by with some more cards, Jude's ashes & the funeral bill. Would have been nice if they phoned first, but just dropping in set me back to a point I thought I had passed. Guess I'm not so smart as I thought I was. I can see I'm going to be doing a lot of gardening. It seems to be a refuge for me when things get tough.
Last night the couriers came & collected all the equipment that the system were so unstinting in providing to help make Jude's life a little bit more bearable. I now have my workshop & lounge back. The place seems empty now. Can anybody tell me what company to call to come & take away this horrible hollow feeling away that I have in my stomach. All these things are driving home the awful awful finality of death. I'm never gonna see my darling in this lifetime again. OK, she wasn't really up to much the last few months, but at least I could go put my head on her shoulder & have a good howl. She was always good for that. The garden got another hammering last night as well. Tigs has finally started putting in an appearance for things other than food. She came to me for a smoodge about 2.00 this morning which was good for both of us.
On the upside, I'm off down to Dunedin soon for Xmas with my sons & their families, I have the steadfast & unfailing love of my little dog & WINZ were incredibly helpful this morning. As the Beatles said, "Oblidee oblidah life goes on."
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So happy that you're getting away for Christmas. Spending time with family during the holidays can be healing. That's my wish for you.
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