From Hamburger to Ham.

I worked today, unlike those many thousands of folk whose bosses run businesses that hold a non essential place in our community. A courier company has got to keep the wheels turning. In my case, I did a van run to Auckland & picked up a staggering amount of bread, meat & vegetables. Enough to fill a Ford Courier Jumbo in fact. All this to contribute in part to keeping the myriads of tourists that flock to our part of the world well, if not expensively, fed.

One of the drops that I did on the way home was a delivery of bread product to a roadside restaurant that we do regular drops to. In an effort to gee up my somewhat jaded Xmas spirits,(the reason for that is a whole different ballgame, & not one that I want to share at this point) I bid the lady in the kitchen "Merry Xmas," & asked her what her plans where for the day. "Work," she replied. "Surely not in here," sez I. "Nope," sez she, "Home cooking Xmas dinner." "Oh." sez I. "Hamburgers to ham, huh?"

This did, at least, raise a smile on her face. She was as busy as. Heaps of traffic on the road, burger orders backed up,hot as hell in the kitchen & just herself & the ditsy blonde teenager manning the counter out front. At least I brightened her day a little I hope.

We are on the road early tomorrow for a two hour drive to spend Xmas with our daughter & the grand kids, so I can empathise with her in that I too will spend part of my holiday doing the same thing that I do for a living, namely driving. It does have its rewards though. i will have herself with me, I will be driving Sherman, & when we get there, I can relax & have a beer or two or three with the obligatory after dinner nap.

So where ever you are & however you spend your day, enjoy it & be safe. Also spare a thought for those who have to keep the wheels turning regardless of how much they want to be with their loved ones. I have been in that situation & could relate some truly horrendous Xmas Eve & New Years Eve anecdotes, but I wont. I prefer to keep those sort of memories in the dark place where wild things roam.

So from Herself & me, have a truly great Xmas & enjoy your special time with your loved ones. I know we will, & thank you all for taking the time to read my ramblings. merry Xmas all.

Xmas lights

Herself, bless her, really enjoys Xmas with all the trimmings. She really gets into the whole deal. I have managed so far to restrain her efforts to the interior of the house, being ever mindful of the high cost of strings of lights, cute Santa's on sleighs, Elves on seesaws, Xmas trains etcetera, not to mention the hazards to aerial navigation all these flashing lights imply. You see, we do live under the flight path of the local airfield & I, for one, don't really fancy the concept of an aircraft, even if it is only a two seater Cessna or something, mistaking my bloody roof for a runway because of them.

The look of disappointment on her face when I said "No" this year was too much for me though. So I worked very hard while she was out the other day & really set things up. Can you imagine the look on her face when she came home & saw this absolute little Wonderland of lights...

Politically Correct Holiday Greetings

Guarded Holiday Greetings to Everyone

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to all of you, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my team of human rights lawyers yesterday, and after taking their advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with due respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or of their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you all a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make my or your country great (not to imply that UAE, Pakistan, China, Singapore, the US and Thailand is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By reading this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal without notice and is without any risk, liability or engagement on my part. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

James [ surname deleted in accordance with voluntary code of practice against nationalist symbolism and gender discrimination ]

So this is Christmas

and what have you done ?

So begins one of the most haunting Christmas songs that I know. John Lennon sure knew what he was doing when he penned those words. I hope that you are doing more than the mean spirited assholes that left this crap & rubbish with the Salvation Army Shop in Waihi as donations for Xmas presents for kids in need. People may be poor, but they still have pride.. isnt it sad how condescending & self serving some folks can be. Good on ya Sallies for highlighting this...

RIP CHLOE

Mistress of The Lounge, Terroriser of Ginger Ninja's, fresh fish, cheese & bacon afficionado extraordinaire. You were originally intended to be my Mum's cuddly sit on the lap & purr sweetly cat to comfort her in her old age. Instead you turned out to be a perverse old Tart that refused to sit on ANYONE'S lap, but would on occasion curl up beside you, or wait expectantly in front of you for a gentle skritch under the ears.

The last of the great conversationalists, you could always be relied upon to pass the time of day with me when I got up at some ungodly hour to go drive a truck. Your grip of the English language when talking to the Ninja's was legendary. Even I, as a trucky was shocked & dismayed by some of the language that you used.

But, like all of us, old age &, in your case, cancer, finally got the better of you & you ended up suffering more than we could endure so you had the final trip to the vets & was gently put to sleep with the dignity you so richly earned. Goodbye old girl, I'm gonna miss you. Our life has been so much richer for having shared life with you. May the Heavyside treat you kindly with soft warm beds, plenty of fresh fish, a selection of bacon, both raw & cooked, a perpetual cheese board, neverending milk at room temperature & as much love as you had here.

Everyone should

at least once in their life stand naked in the rain somewhere. It 's a remarkably energising experience, especially after a long dry spell. Sorta helps put you right back in touch with nature at its most basic. The main thing to remember is that unless you live a long long way away from other houses, its best to do it at night time though.......