So Tauranga drivers are psychic

Well , the majority of them fucking well must be. You see, there is a marked reluctance to use indicators on roundabouts. I guess everyone must KNOW where they are going. I must have sinned mightily at work, because I have been exiled to doing the Bays car part run & ,as you may guess, this includes Tauranga. it also includes Mt Maunganui, Te Puke, Rotorua, Matamata, Cambridge, Te Awamutu & Hamilton & sometimes Morrinsville & Waitoa. all in all, a fairly busy day.

It is a lot less stressful, as by & large I find folks down that way a lot less anal & uptight about things as their Auckland counterparts, BUT they do have some bloody strange habits. Inh the port area of the Mount, it isnt uncommon to see a 40 footer stop in the middle of a roundabout to let his mate out of a side road. The only other folk I have ever seen stop in the middle of a roundabout has been wearing white gloves & is (gasp, shudder) Asian. The whole system for getting from downtown Tga, to the Port Area via the socalled Harbour Bridge, seems to be illconceived for the amount of traffic that is currently frequenting it. No doubt, Tga itesmust get terribly frustrated by this poor old hippy that stops in weird places to consult a map book

But I am getting better. Time was, I could only just find my way to Morty's place, but now I think I can just about get around with relative ease...

Now I gotta get me an ethernet card so as I can be dragged kicking & screaming into the rest of the 21st century & finish installing broadband....

Groovy man..

As my devoted readers will probably already know, I am pretty much a devoted fan of Bob Dylan, owning most of what he has officially released on audio, plus a large chunk of unauthorised stuff as well. I recently scored on vinyl an album called last thoughts on Henry Mancini, which is an album of cover songs that Dylan has sung over the years. The recording quality is crap, but the album is unique in that it was only ever released via the fan club by a company called Spliff Records, so you figure it out.

Anyway, I scored a copy of this particular DVD, which is basically an interview with this guy.. Mickey Jones. He was the drummer on Bob Dylan's world tour in 1966. This was a very controversial tour for Dylan as it was when he upset a lot of fans by deciding to go electric. The first half of the show was traditional Dylan, the second half was electric backed by a band called "The Hawks", consisting of Robbie Robertson, Rick Danko, Richard Manuel, Garth Hudson and Mickey Jones, who replaced Levon Helm on drums. The mostly hostile reaction in the revues only ever referred to them as "The Band", so eventually the name stuck.

The penny finally started to drop, when Mickey started talking about what he did after the tour Seems he signed on for a ten year stint with these guys.. Yep, he went on to drum with Kenny Rogers & the First Edition. This is about where the wheels started to turn & the cogs grind round. You see, long ago in a galaxy far away, (Gisborne actually) I got to see these guys play live, backed by none other than these guys.

Yep, you got it... Bulldogs Allstar Goodtime Band. It was a great concert, with a very intimate atmosphere. That humid that even Kenny Rogers remarked on how hot it was. This happened of all places in the gymnasium at Gisborne High School, so there was no need for big screen monitors like there is nowadays. You could damn near reach out & touch them all. It was a wonderful evening.

Anyway, this DVD. It had a lot less music in it than I envisaged, but the personal touch & perspective on an event that changed modern music is wonderful. Even more special for me is the memory of a fantastic concert where i saw this guy play live. You can't buy memories like that....

When simple things go wrong

One of the couplings that connect the spa pool to the pump has broken.. A simple thing to replace ? Wrong.. had to cut the pipe to get the new fitting on, Jury rig a plumbing fitting to fit because the pool shop dont have those fittings any more, now I cant stop the fucking joint that i made by sleeving the inside of the pipe from leaking.. I think I will finally admit defeat & hand it over to our local Farm & industrial shop to sort out. I have a dread feeling that its gonna end up costing me a new pump.. mutter mutter mutter..

On the news front, I see that low life Graeme Burton attacked a prison guard while being transferred to Rimutaka prison today. This after surgery to amputate his leg. Damn that boy has a mean chip on his shoulder.. Comes from the shallow end of the gene pool as well I shouldnt wonder.

Had a lovely bit of wet pussy this morning. Tiggerpuss has this dangerous habit of leaning down into the fishpond for a drink of water. Our theory is that she may well have slipped. herself called me out to the garage, & there was one very wet & bedraggled little puddytat

Workwise, I saw this rig the other day..

Custom built for transporting aluminium joinery. The whole body slides forward. The guys reckon it works fine until the load shifts & you cant open the curtain. Guess thats a good case for making damn certain that the load is stropped down nice & snug huh ?
















This is the trailer unit outside with my truck in the background.. Yup, hadda do the Auckland run the other day.
Gonna be learning the Bay Parts run with Dave for the next couple days, then doing it on me own next week. That'll be fun, I know Tauranga & Rotorua like the back of my neck..

Comet Mc Naught

This isnt my photo, but I wish it was. Herself dragged me out tonight muttering & mumbling to go sit on a grassy bank & watch for this damn comet. Secretly thinking that she was gonna be in for a major letdown , I went along.

It really is as spectacular as this photo that was taken in Norway.. Possibly even more so. While we were there we started talking to this personable young man & his two kids that had come up to watch as well. When he mentioned his wifes maiden name, I pricked my ears up.. Her Dad & My dad were particular friends,possum hunting mates in fact. Even spookier, their youngest son was in one of the classes that herself has been helping in.. Small world huh? Even if it does have comets flying past it every once in a while.

A piece of my heart

Happy Birthday Janis. God we miss you. Every time I hear you sing "Summer Time" I still get tears in my eyes. You had to be the rippingest tear arse white woman blues singer ever. Dont think that I can come up with another lady that can sing it the way you do. Stevie Nix comes close, but she aint quite there yet.





Hey Girl, ya woulda been 64 this year, instead you checked out in 1970. What would you be doin now if you didnt ?




But ya did & ya gone. But we still got the music, leastways, I have anyway & I still dig you baby. Happy Birthday where ever you are..

New words for 2007

Thanks again Hawkeye for this one..


* SALAD DODGER.

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.



* SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive person.



* TESTICULATING.

Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.



* BLAMESTORMING.

Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a Project failed, and who was responsible.



* SEAGULL MANAGER.

A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and Then leaves.



* ASSMOSIS.

The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.



* SALMON DAY.

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.



* CUBE FARM.

An office filled with cubicles.



* PRAIRIE DOGGING.

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (Thisalso applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)



* SITCOMs.

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".



* SINBAD.

Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.



* AEROPLANE BLONDE.

One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.



* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.

The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.



* ADMINISPHERE.

The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.



* GOING FOR A McSHIT.

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.



* 404.

Someone who's clueless. >From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.



* AUSSIE KISS.

Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.



* OH - NO SECOND.

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').



* GREYHOUND.

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.



* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.

A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.



* MILLENNIUM DOMES.

The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.



* MONKEYBATH.

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".



* MYSTERY BUS.

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.



* MYSTERY TAXI.

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.



* BEER COAT.

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise At 3:00am.



* BEER COMPASS.

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.



* BREAKING THE SEAL.

Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.



* TART FUEL.

Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.



* PICASSO BUM.

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's Got 4 buttocks.

The beat of a different drum

This afternoon after being taunted by the sounds of happy children in the pool next door & being hotter than I remember in a long time, & being fed up with my own company, herself being away on baby sitting duties, I decided to load myself & Mr Dog into Sherman (my nickname for the Mu because it rattles & clanks like a tank) & head up the valley to get both of us wet in the river. Unfortunately, I forgot that it had bucketed down last night & that the river was up quite a bit, very brown & flowing quite swiftly.

Mr Dog got nicely wet & had the compulsory roll in the grass that is an essential part of being a wet dog I guess. On an impulse, I decided to carry on up the valley to visit an old family friend that I havent seen in a while. I have known Sam since I was about 12 years old. So I get up there. There is a horse tied to the front gate & the farm dog comes out witth a worried look to make certain that I parked in the right place.

Sam has a lovely seat under the grape vines in the front yard & as the vines are in fruit, it was nicely shaded. The vines, sadly, arent the original ones his Dalmatian parents planted in the 1920's, but are still mature enough to be absolutely groaning with fruit. I remember as a lad drinking sherry that was grown , fermented, bottled & marketed from the property. Anyway, we passed a very pleasant hour or so sitting in the shade & talking about life in general. I had an idea that I might load Sam into Sherman & take him for a drive up the farm to the tops, where the airstrip is. You see, Sam is in his mid 80's now, & slowing down a touch, but it seems that the offer isnt needed. You see, Sam still catches, saddles & rides his horse round the property to pull ragwort & thistles.

We all had a lovely time. Sam's farm dogs have that gentleness that comes of being loved & well treated, so Mr Dog had a wonderful time playing under the vines with them, although he did steer well clear of the horse. Even old Boof, who is pushing 15, deaf as a post & starting to slow down a touch joined in the fun. So anyway, now its 10.00 pm, 26 degrees C & God only knows what the humidity is. Hopefully it will cool down enough soon to sleep..

A scary thought

Did you know that the most hits I get on my blog from google are from people looking for the lyrics to the "We're all going Star Trekkiing" song ? sad but true..

I got stoned & I missed it

So saith the words of Shel Silverstein as recorded by Dr Hook.

I have just started on two weeks of the late run tonight, so Herself, who is quite partial to the odd ride in an old truck, decided to come along. As she was with me & not dutifully at home whompin up vittles for her man, the inevitable question arose, whats for tea ? We decided to let Wendy do the cooking, as her place of residence at East Tamaki has plenty of parking for a 6 wheeler, is on our way home & close to the motorway. It would also appear to have very comfortable lawn. This clown was , like, totally wasted man. About all he could manage was to roll over on to his stomach,(at least he wont choke on his vomit) & pass out..

" A preachment my friends, you're about to receive on nicotine, alcohol & the temptations of Eve.."

So the system failed Graeme Burton.

So saith a lady friend of his on the Herald website. This lady, who has known Burton since age 3 believes that the system could have done more to integrate this person into society. Apparently Burton wanted to give it "A really good try" after he got out of prison. he certainly did that didnt he ? One dead & how many wounded & threatened?

To my mind, the only way that society has failed him is in the placement of the shot that brought him down. All credit to the police in this matter. I am certain that there are countries not too far away from here that would have aimed somewhat higher & a lot more fatally than the leg.

On the light side.......

Got sent this one by an old mate today.. I think its funny anyway..

What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ?





At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.




At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.





At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.





At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.







At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.





At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.












At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!







At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

Thanks Hawkeye

R.I.P Rolly

So long you daft dog. I know that Lorna & Sonia are going to miss you like crazy. Fattums is going to miss those intimate chats you used to have with her over the stone wall. Dammit, I'm going to miss you too . I looked forward to you helping me mow the lawns by tugging at the front wheel of the mower.

Rolly's back legs collapsed on him at the beach today & sadly he had to be put to sleep. Lorna is devastated as is Sonia. He was a most peculiar animal, very affectionate & with a passion bordering on an obsession regarding riding in cars. A very loyal animal & a wonderful watchdog. Misty will mis swiping his bones too I think. So long old chap. I guess that you are probably dribbling all over Jeff by now somewhere.

At Last

Somebody (A company called Kyser) has finally made a capo that actually works on the wide curved neck of my old 12 string guitar that doesnt look like the front bumper of a '57 Chevy. We were on our way home from minding the Grandkids yesterday, when on impulse, (sort of) I/We stopped in to a little music shop in Manukau. I happen to like this little shop. Its run by a guy nearly my age with shoulder lentgh hair who is as passionate about old Eko 12 strings as I am. He is that passionate about his that he tracked his old one down & repurchased it.

I still have mine. I bought it in 1968 & one of the few sensible things I have done with my life, (Other than marry Herself), has been to retain possession of it over the years. Yeah sure, its had the odd repair or two & had the tuning keys replaced, but I still enjoy playing it, & am nicely along the way to my new years resolution of being in form enough to attend an accoustic jam session at one of our local bars by the first Sunday in February.

Anyway, I digress. This capo is specifically made for a 12 string with a curved neck. Usually, if you use a capo on a 12, you have your choice of string buzz on either the top or the bottom E string. (Mine anyway) Although this capo looks insubstantial & I must admit to wondering at first if I had wasted my money, it works beautifully. It is one handed in operation , which is a refreshing first for me, & pulls the strings down with a crystal clarity that is a pleasure to listen to.

For those of you that are wondering "Why ??", a capo allows you to play in awkward keys without having to pull down bar chords, never a really easy task with a 12 string, & also allows you to use alternate keys for a slightly different sound & to give you the ability for left hand finger work that isnt an option in some keys. All in all, a good purchase.

Well thats the holidays ended for me. Back to work tomorrow. Damn, but I could get used to this life of the idle rich....

P.S.

It just got better. As I was finishing the last mouthful of fresh snapper, the Boss phoned & asked me if I would like the rest of the week off. Do Bears defacate in aforested areas? bet yo ass they do

It doesnt get much better really

Last two days of the silly season holidays.. Yesterday we went for a long overdue visit to see my cousin Jeanette in Taupiri. pursuant with my new policy of getting to see as much of our local scenery as possible, we took a slightly more circituitous route than usual. This proved to be just as quick as going via the main road & we were rewarded with some extremely beautiful scenery & a complete lack of traffic which was wonderful. Anyway, it would be worth the traffic just to see Netty & Les. They number pretty high in my list of favourite rellies & it was great to catch up, see Sebastian, their grandson, & check on the growth of a kauri tree that my Dad gave them as a present some years ago.

But today .... Aaaah today..... One of those golden days to remember. Today the Moo got its first baptism of its current role in life. We used it to tow my boat to the ramp at Te Puru. Yes, Herself & I finally got a chance to get out fishing together. What a lovely day. We didnt catch any more than our tea, but hey, we certainly got heaps of bites. Herself hooked what we think was a fairly respectable Kingfish, but it broke off before we got a good look at it. We did get one quite spectacular leap out of the water from it though. Couple that with some really good Kahawai "boilups" all round the boat & you have a recipe for a perfect day. On the menu for tea tonight ? Fresh fish, homemade chips & eggs. As I said, it doesnt get much better than that.