Culture Vulture

. Dunedin never fails to surprise me with its rich diversity & vibrancy. Today, after we had wrung the last few bargains from the post Xmas sales, Ian & Leasa decided that a touch of culture would do us all the world of good, so we headed for the Municipal Art gallery via the Scottish shop. We did this so that I could replace the somewhat tattered & bedraggled Scottish flag on Sherman's aerial, that I had purchased last time we were here. While I was in there I also bought a "Clan Clootie," which, to the uninitiated, is a very good quality linen tea towel with my clan crest on that I intend to get framed once I get home.

So, onwards to the Art Gallery. I must admit to being pleasantly surprised. Situated in the middle of the hubbub & activity of The Octagon, it provides a haven of peace & contemplative tranquillity & a surprisingly eclectic selection of work. I was most surprised & pleased to find a work there that I had hung in the Gisborne Museum & Art gallery during my tenure as handyman/carpenter. It was like meeting an old friend. It was a piece that had travelled with the Benson & Hedges Art Award road show. Apart from that, the works on display showed an amazing depth & array, from the odd Constable or two, through to local semi folk art to a very modern display featuring a "Black" them, which I really failed to grasp the essence of.

There was a wonderful collection of photographic prints by an artist called Fiona Pardington, & my favourite exhibition of all , a selection of Japanese woodcut prints with a Kabuki theme. The depth of detail in these is absolutely stunning. All this & free entry. Absolutely wonderful.

After that it was back to reality in the Meridian mall for lunch. Hustly bustly mayhem at best, followed by a visit to JB Hifi, which led to a round of self castigation over having left my brother in law's most generous gift card behind. I did come away however, with Dylans latest disc, which updaates my collection, & a DVD of Dylan's performances at the Newport folk festival in the 60's. Home for a snooze & then out for Domino Pizza's for tea. All in all, a lovely way to spend my last day with Ian & Leasa. Tomorrow, the little dog & I are heading for Invercargill to spend New Years Eve with Madz. Can't wait

Down South

Well here I am as the saying goes, Down South. It was a good trip if a little longer than is totally comfortable for old bones & small dogs , but we made it. I have been staying with Ian, Leasa & Conaire these last 2 weeks & it has been wonderful. Conaire & Whispa have been getting to know each other & Conaire is learning that Whispa is not just another stuffed toy & Whispa is learning that little girls aren't really as scary as they first seem. All in all a satisfactory arrangement.

One of the nice things I find about being in a a new town is my daily walks. There is always something new to see, even if you have been in the area before, especially when you are walking with a dog & a 2 year old. In this case, a lovely old concrete building that used to be a family neighborhood 4 square store. It intrigued me that much that I have made 3 visits back there to try & get the light that I wanted. For better or worse, here are the results....





















































The las t photo was taken by a very kind lady & her daughter that just happened to be walking past... Gotta love Dunedin dont ya?????

Back on the road.

My two sons God bless 'em, decided that it wasn't a good thing for me to spend Xmas on my own, a sentiment that I whole heartedly approve of. I didn't want to fly down, as that would present complications with my little dog, who I didnt want to leave behind. So I decided to drive down. Ian decided that he didn't want me driving down on my own, so he flew up & drove down with me. I'm glad he did. It meant that I was able to show him where I scattered his Poppies ashes on the top of Mt Messenger. It also allowed him to catch up with an old school friend in Hawera. I didn't sleep well that night. I didnt put the bung back in the air bed & me & the little dog ended up cast on our backs in the middle like a couple of old fly blown ewes.

Catching up with Rob & Heather in Wellington was great, made even better by the fact that Rob & Ian spent the evening chatting away as if they had known each other all their lives. A 2.30 AM crossing coupled with a lusty blustery Southerly made sure that we didn't get a lot of sleep in spite of having comfortable warm bunks in a cabin. So it was a couple of tired wee lads & a very much relieved little dog that disembarked at Picton & set off for Dunedin. it was a tough drive but we did it in a day, much to the relief of all involved including the dog.

So here we are in Dunedin having a wonderful time. So far, I have had what is rapidly becoming a tradition, namely a tattoo followed by a kebab. It's a beaut. I f you want to see it go to my facebook page. I went fishing yesterday with the father of one of Leasa's friends. It was really a cae of the blind leading the blind, as he had only had his boat out 2 or 3 times before & was actually relying on me to show him where the fish were. He did catch one small Blue Cod & was very happy, as it was the first one he had caught out of his new boat. We also got to see heaaps of seals swimming in the water out by the point & some beautiful scenery as well. Its been over a year since I have been out on the water & the Viking side of my psyche is well appeased. I have also been enjoying some really relaxing time with my family. It is so good not to have anything to worry about except what clothes to put on.Iian & Leasa & Conaire have been wonderful to me in so far as they have provided a stress free environment for me to relax, refresh & recharge.

As I have been sitting writing this, we have experienced the second of 2 earth tremors that Christchurch has experienced today. I was asleep for the first, but Ian felt it. Hey enough already. Haven't they had enough in a year without doing this to them so close to Xmas. My heart goes out to them.

So, I'm looking forward to Xmas. Spending time with my family offers the promise of regeneration, recharge & a fresh outlook on life. New Years Eve, I will drive down to Inver argill, (yes folks, very carefully) with my little dog & spend a night or two at Madz's place. Quite looking forward to getting po faced with her & playing cards for the evening to see in the New Year. Then its back to spend a week or two with my other son, Sean & his family, then the start of the long trek home. But even that will be a pleasure as life changing events are starting to unfold for me in a most joyous way. I have had enough sadness & sorrow in my life the last few years & things are happening that promise a whole new life.

So, Merry Xmas & a Happy New Year to you all. May you celebrate & enjoy it in what ever fashion you wish. May your fondest dream for the new Year be the worst thing that happens to you &, Most importantly, may the skin of your bum never cover the head of a banjo...

A brave new world

So said Aldous Huxley & the Preacher in War of the Worlds. It's a little bit scary being back in the world without Jude to cower behind. All of a sudden, I basically have nobody to please bar myself. The invites are starting to come in & I catch myself starting to say, "No sorry I can't because....." then I realise I can. I can because at the moment I'm not bumping around in trucks till all hours, nor do I have an ailing wife to tend any more. It's a strange feeling, but I guess I will get used to it.

I'm now actually looking forward to returning home from Dunedin to start forging a life for myself. Exactly what that life will be or who it will be with I have no idea at this stage. Thats the exciting bit...

Goin' Down

Tuesday was a down day. I was doing OK. Right up to the point where the undertaker dropped by with some more cards, Jude's ashes & the funeral bill. Would have been nice if they phoned first, but just dropping in set me back to a point I thought I had passed. Guess I'm not so smart as I thought I was. I can see I'm going to be doing a lot of gardening. It seems to be a refuge for me when things get tough.

Last night the couriers came & collected all the equipment that the system were so unstinting in providing to help make Jude's life a little bit more bearable. I now have my workshop & lounge back. The place seems empty now. Can anybody tell me what company to call to come & take away this horrible hollow feeling away that I have in my stomach. All these things are driving home the awful awful finality of death. I'm never gonna see my darling in this lifetime again. OK, she wasn't really up to much the last few months, but at least I could go put my head on her shoulder & have a good howl. She was always good for that. The garden got another hammering last night as well. Tigs has finally started putting in an appearance for things other than food. She came to me for a smoodge about 2.00 this morning which was good for both of us.

On the upside, I'm off down to Dunedin soon for Xmas with my sons & their families, I have the steadfast & unfailing love of my little dog & WINZ were incredibly helpful this morning. As the Beatles said, "Oblidee oblidah life goes on."

Thoughts on death, dying & grief

I picked my first green bean from my vines today. I just ate it straight from the vine. I have a lot of stuff that is going to be ready while I'm away sadly. My tomatoes are fruiting nicely & my first crop of baby carrots are not far off ready. My globe artichokes have 3 fruit, ( I think you call them that ) coming along nicely. There is a lesson from nature there if you care to look for it.

You see, the last few weeks I have been bound up in the absolute misery that my darlings life had become. She was in a lot of pain up until she started taking morphine & on occasion even that didn't help. It really was a blessing when she died. She went peacefully, with her son & his wife holding her hand. The subsequent mourning period & funeral went in a blur, so it's only really today that I have been able to take stock.

Oh, I have done a little. My neighbor brought over a lovely red rose called Eternal Love. I planted it on the morning of the funeral in what is going to be my remembrance garden. It's a good place to talk to Jude while I do a bit of weeding etc. There were also 3 rather nice flowering bulbs in a pot that I separated & planted there as well in the rain yesterday along with some catnip & oregano. They all seem to be doing OK.

So, I guess the lesson is this. No matter what our personal tragedies may be, nature just keeps on going in its own lusty rambunctious way. It doesnt wait for us, it just keeps right on keeping on. There are those who think I should still be grieving, & learning to live with it. I have done with my grieving. I grieved for my darling watching her helpless, racked with pain & unable to indicate what was wrong. I grieved at the dreadful injustice I perceived of her having the damn disease in the first place. I grieved for a lot of things, some very personal.

So death brings resolution. It brings it in a very final way. I have seen violent death. I have cheated death for 10 years by helping save someone with CPR. I have seen my darling dead under traumatic circumstance revived by an incredibly dedicated medical staff. And I have seen my Darling die very peacefully at home in her bed. That was a wonderful thing to see, & I don't think that anybody who has seen a death like that can dispute that it is a lovely thing to see.

So what am I trying to say ? I suppose that it is this:- don't expect me to go round wearing sackcloth & ashes because I wont be. Do expect me to be picking up the threads of a life that has been on hold for the last 4 years or so. Seeing my darling at rest & pain free has lifted a great weight from my shoulders. Yes I cried. I grieved her passing bitterly, but that is right & fitting to do so. I will carry her in my heart forever, but I will continue my life proud in the knowledge that I have done the best I could for her. No ifs, no buts, just the best I could. Till we meet again my darling