The levee finally broke tonight. I've known all along that herself was scared. You don't share your life with someone for some twenty odd years & not get to know them fairly well. The symptoms have been there a while. She has to be either constantly doing something, in her case, gardening, walking & knitting, or sleeping. Sleep has long been her way of making bad stuff go away for a while.
She didn't pick a good time to want to talk. Right in the middle of the season final of Dr Who to be precise, but we got there. It's good that she has opened up, because now we can talk a lot more openly about things. You see, I'm terrified as well, & its been hard trying to put a brave face on things when you are faced with losing the most precious person in your life. I'm trying hard for her. I'm finishing all the projects that I have been promising her for years. This weekend saw the spouting repaired that has needed doing since we moved in. I didn't realize how badly I have been sleeping & how much it has affected me over the last couple of years until I got some sleeping tablets to help me smooth out the current bumps. The doc isn't all that happy about me using them long term, but for me, its a case of what ever it takes to get by.
Next weekend, her daughter is going to put on a birthday party for her in Auckland, so hopefully, I will be able to bring back lots of pics & herself will be able to add to her store of happy memories.
I really do hope it rains. If only for the satisfaction of looking out the kitchen window & not seeing Niagara Falls there. I really have done a damn good job of it all even though I say it myself. Oh & by the way, if you missed it , the season finale of Dr. Who was an absolute ripper. It really is going to be a hard act to follow next season.
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