The Taking of Pelham 123 & other stuff.

I sat & watched the 2009 remake of this movie tonight starring Denzel Washington & John Travolta. I've never watched either it, or any of its predecessors, although I had heard of it. Its a damn good movie. Its a very credible action movie with a certain amount of related violence that shocks with it's gritty realism, not entertains because of its improbability. The fact that it has been remade 3 or 4 times kind of speaks for a very strong story line. It kept my eyes open for 90% of it anyway, which is doing real good for me at the moment. we seem to be having a bit of a time of it at the moment you see, which makes for very broken nights on both our behalfs.

I explain. When Jude was in hospital, she naturally had her BIPAP machine there with her. Easier than using a hospital one as hers is set up for her & she trusts it. Trust is an important factor for her these days. Anyway, our BIPAP is somewhat newer than the hospital ones & different to operate. Sadly, Jude had nurse Hamfisti assigned to her for one of the night shifts who obviously thought that the way to turn it on was to press the on button as hard as you can while screwing it remorselessly in a counter clockwise (I think) fashion. This as I eventually found out has the lovely effect of making the button part company with its housing & partly disappear down it's own fundamental orifice. This has the ongoing effect of sending the machine into paroxysms of test modes, spontaneous startup/shutdown cycles & all sorts of fun things that , at 2.00 AM, present all the entertainment of a slow motion train wreck.

I finally figured it out, figured how to get it useable & phoned the Sleep Clinic at Waikato to make arrangements to uplift a replacement. The next hurdle was getting someone to sit with Jude while I was away. (4 hours is just a bit too long on her own) Our usual person had an important appointment on the day & couldn't do it. We ended up double booked, but the main thing was that I could go off & not worry about her which was great. Enter the new BIPAP machine. Apart from it sounding like no.2 engine on a 747, it worked well. Too well in fact. Way too well. Jude started complaining of wind & it got to the point where I was literally having to deflate her every hour or so during the night via her PEG tube. We nutted it out between it that this thing was pushing too much air into her & because of her reduced muscle control, a substantial amount of it was being pushed into her stomach. Another trip to the sleep clinic on Saturday afternoon revealed that the original technician that set the machine up didn't set the flow right & it was pushing through half as much again as it was supposed to. All is now well, with the noise greatly reduced & Jude getting the right amount of air that she is supposed to. The moral of the story ? If you are being given equipment of any kind, particularly replacement stuff, Don't be afraid to get it operating while you are still at whatever clinic you're at. It could save you trips & sleepless nights later on. Jude is doing OK. She is recovering as well as can be expected, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that she did get a hairline crack in at least one of her ribs during resusc. She doesn't complain, but I can see it in her eyes when I turn her over at night. I know how it feels, because I've done it myself 2 or 3 times & the only healer is time, about 6 weeks of it.

I finally got out for a walk this afternoon. Just lately its been a case of commitments that don't allow it or weather that precludes much more than the obligatory 100 yard dash to let the little dog do what she has to, but today was beautiful. I couldn't get out this morning because of visitors, washing & other stuff, so we went this afternoon. There is something rather nice about a Sunday afternoon stroll. It's surprising how many people are out & about either with or without their beloved pets. One thing I love about walking with a dog is that it acts as a superb icebreaker & allows me to meet all sorts of interesting people. Today, I met this lovely young couple feeding the ducks. They are Tasmanian (we wont hold that against them) & have been working at Wanaka. She is now working for DOC in Thames doing work in the Biodiversity Field, whatever that is & they are living up the Kauarenga Valley. We had a lovely chat. Its small pleasures like this now that keep me reasonably sane & happy..

Catching Up

I am in catch up mode a bit. Life has been somewhat eventful for the last week or so. You see last Thursday week Jude ended up in hospital yet again. Fortunately, this time it was the local one, so there was minimal traveling involved. What happened was effectively my fault, but I'm not beating myself to death about it. I do feel guilty, yes, but not in an all encompassing, soul destroying way. If Jude held me responsible for what happened, then yes I would feel substantially worse, but she doesn't, bless her, so we both just put it down to live & learn.

Lately, we have been trying her with small cups of coffee & a taste of wine on her toothette sponges just to moisten her mouth & at least give her the taste of it. Anyway, I was eating a particularly tasty orange Thought a tiny morsel of it might bee good to suck on just for the taste of it in her mouth. Jude agreed. It wasn't, so out came trusty Igor, the suction unit. Jude started to get a little panicky as she was getting very short of breath & reflexively bit down hard on the suction tip & dislodged a tooth.. Lots of blood & mucous & the 3rd call for an ambulance in as many weeks. He thought it was incredibly funny when I asked him for frequent flyers points. I followed along with her BIPAP & a change of clothes & got there just as they were transferring her from the ambulance stretcher to a hospital bed. AS I got there, the driver said, "Is her face always that color?" "No! " says I, then all hell broke loose.

The upshot was that it took 4 doctors something like 4 minutes to get her back for me & in the end it took shock paddles to do it. I know this terrible affliction will eventually reach out a cold bony hand & take her from me, but thankfully, it wasn't this time. It wasn't right, it wasn't time & I wasn't prepared to let her go at that point.

She is home again & recovering now, but still very frail & fragile. I can't praise the hospital doctors & nursing staff enough. Admittedly, either Jude has worked with them as a Friend of the Emergency Department, or I have grown up & gone to school with a lot of them as well but still... It's a lovely new hospital wing with very enlightened views. I was even allowed to bring our little dog into the room & have her on the bed, where she sat with her head on Judes arm gazing soulfully into her eyes, but all is right with the world now. Jude is snuggled up in bed with a cat curled up with her & the little dog has deserted me for the warmth of the fire in the lounge.

We've had problems with her BIPAP as well. Wouldn't shut off, wouldn't turn on, going in & out of test modes & all sorts of weird things, which are bloody wonderful at 2.00 AM when you are trying to get her in & out of bed for a potty stop. I was all set to go through to Waikato for an evening appointment with the Sleep Clinic, but I managed to fix it. All it is is a worn stop start button that you have to very carefully pick out of its hole every once in a while. I'm going to send a picture of it through to them & see if a replacement is available. It's useable now though which is good.

Then there was the saga of our new cordless paging system, (Wireless Doorbell) It's been working intermittently for a while now. I replaced the batteries but that helps sometimes, sometimes not. I tracked it down though. You see I tape the bell push to Jude's get out of bed frame, which is made of steel tubing. The body of the bell push has an adhesive pad on the back of it which I haven't to date used, but it has compressed to being paper thin & this has been killing the signal. A small bit of hardboard attached to the sticky pad has solved THAT problem.

Now for the good news. We've had a good weekend. Jude has been spoiled rotten. Chris & Mel came down for the day on Saturday, bought some lovely flowers down with them & Phil & Jean came down as well, stayed the night & left about lunchtime today. We haven't really had all that much to do with Jean, but she is a lovely lady & really went out of her way to make a fuss of Jude which was nice. Its all left Jude very tired, but the weekend is a good tired with some happy memories.

Well that's about it. This coming week I'm going to see about getting Jude's teeth cleaned up, getting her hair tinted & trimmed & I'm going to try & overcome a personal phobia I have regarding paper work & get some done that seriously needs doing. All good positive stuff.

Glory Days

My old mate Hawkeye dropped me an email last night. You remember Hawkeye. The old lag from Fire Service days. We keep in touch regularly & try to keep each other relatively grounded. Doesn't always happen. Usually our conversations degenerate to,"Do you remember...?" or who was it that ....?" Or more pertinently, "What ever happened to......? We argue a lot, but that's not a bad thing. It's a bit like a script for a bad rewrite of "Grumpy Old Men.

Anyway, Hawkeye sent me this list entitled "Extinguished," That names all the Fire Fighters from our era that have gone to the great fireground in the sky. There is an awful lot of them. A lot I knew about , but some I didn't. Its not good to learn you have lost old friends by seeing their names on a list. Reminds you too much of your own frailties.

But here we both are. Still, by the grace of God & the Fickle finger of Fate, still plodding along. We both agree that someone should write a book about the Glory Days when Firemen were real men & actually put out fires by going into burning buildings with no breathing gear because we were too proud to admit to human weakness. Men of iron & steel we were . 10 foot tall & bullet proof, at least thats how it seemed at the time. Now when we feel the effects of years of abuse to our bodies, we know different. Yes, we should write a book, but what we be the point. Nobody would believe it anyway.

Sleep well old comrades. May all your night shifts be clear of calls & may all your standby's be on group training days..

Louisiana Rain

I was really looking forward to relaxing in front of the fire tonight with a little black dog on my lap, a glass of reasonable quality malt in my sticky little paw & some top quality Tom Petty playing on Prime in the show called Prime Rocks. Sadly, I was not to have it uninterrupted. It was one of Jude's worse nights. Up & down for most of the first half of it. The joys of being a caregiver I guess. We have , under the Dietician's supervision, been slowly changing her over to a full diet of the Fortisip Multi Fibre. We are at present at a rate of 4 of the multi to 2 of the ordinary, but its too much. She hasn't been feeling very flash, but it wasn't until the District Nurse came this afternoon that I found out that she is constipated. After the nurse left we had, yet again, another of our chats (one sided) about the value of keeping me up to date with regards to her symptoms. We are going to back her off to a 50 50 mix & give her something to soften her up & get her going again. I suggested taking her out on the back lawn & hooking the garden hose up to her PEG tube, but the District Nurse didn't seem to think it a terribly good idea. She did laugh though.

A dear friend some time ago suggested that a TENS machine might provide relief for Jude's hips & knee. I did check it out at the time, but they were a bit on the expensive side. I subscribe to one of those daily deal email things. Mostly, I just give em a quick scan & delete em, but today I sat up a bit. Out came the trusty old credit card & hey presto, 2 minutes later 2 TENS machines are on the way for a princely sum of $40.00 (I have joint aches as well & fight a constant battle with my lower back from lifting Jude round all the time) If they help, fine, if not then it's not a huge amount to shell out, as they had something like a 60% discount on them.

Anyway, to make the title of my post relevant, here is some classic Tom Petty. Smooth as.... Louisiana Rain... Enjoy

Victory

I managed to get Jude into the spa this afternoon. Her knee has been giving her hell lately & although I have found a way to get her in & out with little drama, it's taken till today to do it. Basically, I have a bar stool with a revolving top that's the same height as the spa pool. After a couple of experiments that didnt work, we found the best way is for her to back up to the stool on her walker , hitch herself up on to it as much as she can. I remove the walkerget the rest of her on the stool, turn it round & lift her legs in. From there its a relatively easy thing to take her gently under the arms & lift her into the pool with me.

She did enjoy it so, but like everything extracurricular these days, there is always a price. An early night, not even watching Castle. Still, I can always get that on TV on demand.

Stormy Weather

Well, it's been a lusty blustery few days here. Because we are so sheltered, we dodge the worst of the wind, but nothing alas, can shelter us from rain. So , armed with 3 days worth of washing I hit the clothesline this morning. For the record, I don't do lines in garages or clothes horses. Can't stand them. I will if the situation warrants throw the odd load in the dryer, but definitely prefer natures way the best. I got it all dry. I was enjoying my usual quiet time folding & sorting the washing. It's always the same. The little dog snuffles around the edges of the garden making it seem as though there is a regiment of hedgehogs on manoeuvres & Fattums the cat rolls round on her back playing with what ever bit of stick she can find. On a day like today when there is just enough wind to render the washing nice & soft as well as dry. I knew that rain was inevitable from the lowering black clouds approaching. Still it was a little disappointing to feel the first few drops on the backs of my hands when I was still only two thirds of the way through getting it into the basket. So that made for the usual mad dash of grabbing it all into the basket & inside before it got more than a few drops on it. I went inside leaving Fattums lying on her back in the middle of the lawn enjoying the feel of rain on her fat old ginger tum.

I have solved the problem of getting Jude into Sherman. I'm told that all by myself, I have re invented the transfer board. Whatever. It works. A nice smooth board with a handle on one end that I sit on the car seat, then sit Jude on it & slide her across. Much easier than bodily lifting her in.

One of the drawbacks of the patient/caregiver situation can be lack of human contact other than health care professionals & especially in Jude's case, I feel the lack of ordinary conversation. For some reason, friends, other than a very loyal minority, stop calling. This can be for a number of reasons, but chiefly I think because the sight of the patient scares them, they don't know what to say, or they don't want to tire the patient out. Well, we have had plenty of contact over the last few days. Thursday wasn't so hot. Jude had an appointment with the Respiratory Clinic in Thames for 10.30. basically, it was a waste of time, with me having to explain, yet again, why Jude can't do a respiratory function test. She hasn't been able to for the last 2 years or so. One would think the message would have got through after that long. After an hour, Jude was not in good shape & I was ready to tell them we were going home. Fortunately, they found her a bed to lie on & put her at the top of the list to be seen. Then we got seen by the new registrar, who proceeded to ask the same old questions that we have answered God knows how many times in the past & upset Jude by talking about a time when she wouldn't need the BIPAP. Basically a waste of time that took Jude most of Friday to recover from.

Saturday we had a lovely time. Packed Jude & the dog into Sherman & we went down to the market. It was a nice enough day weatherwise. Whispa very dutifully trotted alongside Jude's chair & we all thoroughly enjoyed being out & about & talking to people, not to mention coming home with a nice smoked Kahawai for me & a nice warm pair of hand knitted wooley gloves for Jude.

As if that wasn't enough, we had visitors Saturday afternoon. Both of us. Jude had her most loyal friend Joy come to see her, & Al dropped in to see me at about the same time. Al is an old workmate & one of the very few that has actually bothered to stay in touch after I finished working. It was a real tonic to sit down with an old mate & catch up on gossip over a few beers. Other than the washing & keeping up to scratch with dishes etc., I haven't really done a lot. But I do feel refreshed & recharged. Thats the main thing isn't it ?