Country Roads

We had a good day today. I knew it was going to be a good day right from when I went out at 6.30 AM to get the paper. You see, as I walked up the drive, the frost was making that delicious crunchy squeaky noise underfoot that only fresh frost can make. Mind you , it has been doing that every morning this week. I love that sound. It reminds me of being a 5 year old playing in frozen puddles at the trout hatchery. This morning was special though. You see, Sherman was snuggled up nice & warm in the garage ready & raring to go after his rejuvenation.

So we went. First of all, down to the mall to buy a couple of things that we needed, then a nice leisurely drive up the coast. By the time we got as far as Coromandel, it was lunchtime, so we had lunch. We ate at the Peppertree restaurant. It wasn't especially cheap, but it was very nice. Herself had 2 lovely pieces of Gurnard with chips & I had the seafood chowder. They were both delicious. Mine came with the nicest garlic bread that I have tasted for a long time. Its nice to dine in pleasant surrounds, knowing that you don't have to rush because of work pressures. We also found something that Herself can not only drink, but actually enjoy as well without gagging, gasping or spluttering. Tomato juice. needless to say, we have added a supply to our pantry.

From there , we went up to Colville, past the Buddhist centre, with its beautiful roadside shrine as far as the Port Charles turnoff, where we hit the metal roads. There is something rather delightful & satisfying in driving a loose metal road in a 4wd that hugs a road like that as well as Sherman does. We went right to the end of the road. Through Port Charles, through Sandy Bay, where the council road maintanence ends, another 7 kilometers to Rocky Bay. The road was pretty grim, with a lot of washouts & washboarding, but we took our time. it was worth it. Just to sit there looking out across beautiful deep green sea with Great Barrier Island looking so close you could almost wade out to it. I dont think I have ever been to a place so quiet & tranquil. The only sounds that you could hear was the gentle wash of the waves on the beach & the call of the Tui from the bush behind us. It has to be as close to Paradise as it gets. Summer time would be vastly different though I think.

We returned to Coromandel via the other road. Down though Tuateawa & Kennedy's Bay. that road is loose metal all the way, but the scenery is absolutely worth it. There is an incredible view of the Mercury Islands from the top of the hill at Tuateawa. The coast road back along the Thames Coast was an easy task after this. Just cruising & admiring the sunset. Starting off at the top with the palest of pale blue sky that somehow transformed itself into the most delicate shade of pink that you can imagine. Then a thin dark line so straight it might have been drawn with a ruler, then the sea. The palest of butter yellows. God it was pretty. All this with no freight to deliver & no deadlines to keep. Best of all Herself got to forget about The hurt thats happening to her at the moment. That makes it al worth while. Yeah, we had a good day.

Dreams & Rainbows

I had a strange dream last night. It didn't even involve naked women & tropical paradises. Don't ask me how, but somehow I ended up in the presence of Bob Dylan. I told him I had to split, because I had to take some fruit to the hospital. He said,"I'm comin with you man, because I'm tired of all this crap." So we snuck out the side door & off we went. We got to the hospital & we had a really groovy time, sitting on one of the beds & talking to the nurses. Bob was enjoying himself particularly, because nobody recognised him & he was just sitting chilling like an ordinary person, talking & eating oranges. Finally someone recognised him & we fessed up as to who he was. Still nobody believed us, so Bob said "OK, I'll go & get my guitar & sing for you, then you'll believe who I am." So off he went. After quite a time, we wondered where he'd got to, so I went & asked at the desk. "Oh him!" the receptionist replied,"We had that weird little guy thrown out for stealing oranges from a patient." You go figure because its beyond me.

Anyway, yesterday, we went to see the new Star Trek movie. I'm glad we did. I think its nearly at the end of its run here . Herself & I comprised two thirds of the patronage. We are glad we went. What an awesome movie. The action started right from the word "Go" & didnt let up till the closing credits rolled. It's got to be the last ever Star Trek movie, because there is no way that it can be topped I don't think. We thoroughly enjoyed it. was a nice way to spend an afternoon & escape life for an hour or two.

Last night we had an old friend & his wife come to see us. We had lovely chats for a few hours, haven't seen them in a while you see. But if you want to feel nervous, try preparing them a stir fry for tea because one of them is vegetarian & cant eat the beef stroganoff thats in the oven. Even more so, try doing this with one of them in the kitchen talking to you while you do so. I'm not real good with an audience when I'm cooking at the best of times, but with someone that knows what they are doing, trust me, its 10 times worse. It must have been OK though, because they both ate it & Kathleen went back for seconds on the Stroganoff.

I get Sherman back today after three weeks. I'm rather looking forward to it. He should be running like a Swiss watch & looking very beautiful with all the new paint etc. now we can start our touring in earnest.

Dream unweaver

A few years ago, not actually very long, in fact just before Herself started to get ill, she was in the process of developing a very good career. She has this wonderful rapport with children, especially those with learning problems. She was well on the way to a very successful career in special needs education & was actually two thirds of the way through a degree in that field. Unfortunately, the MoNster has put paid to all that. You see you need to be able to talk to the pupils to do any good. She has had that ability taken away from her. She also used to really enjoy volunteer work for St Johns at our local hospital Emergency department, but once again communication is paramount.

A short while ago, I spoke to her about her patchwork. See, she loves that too & she is very good at it. So we have this bedroom full of material scraps & part finished projects. I sat her down & explained that bits & pieces arent going to be any good to me. I would far rather have a beautiful patchwork quilt to cuddle up to when I am on my own than boxes of bits & pieces. She has taken this to heart, bless her, & with the aid of two sets of bookshelves that we have been given, undertaken a massive cleanup & sort out of said stuff.

But she has gone further still. With out any prompting at all from me, she has been through all her study material. I haven't said a word to her about all the paperwork, because I know what it all meant to her & what the dream of stepping up on a stage & collecting a degree meant to her. So, I know what it has meant to her to drag it all out & get it ready for me to load on the trailor & take to our refuse transfer station.

She didn't come with me to do it. I'm very glad she didn't. It was hard enough for me to throw all her dreams away. I can't begin to imagine how she felt to see it all go. I'm very proud of her.

Yesterday, we went through to Ohinemuri House in Paeroa to attend my Mum's annual assessment. Apart from an amputated big toe & chronic dementia, she is doing fine for an 87 year old. Sometimes I think that it would be nice for a while not to have to think & make descisions for others. Then a sense of responsibility kicks in & I hunker down & carry on.

Sherman is still in the fixit shops. He's running like a top apparently & the handbrake is finally fixed properly, having new cables fitted. Yesterday, he had the gas struts in the tailgate regassed. Now they wont fall down & whack us on the back of the head when we close them. That will be nice. I also had the air conditioning checked, but its beyond reasonable resurrection sadly. All thats really left to do now is finish off the paintwork. I have had flash new chrome baby West Coast mirrors fitted & damn they look good. Hopefully Thursday or Friday should see him home.

Herself has had her medication changed. She is now using patches, which provide relief for 3 days or so at a constant level, which is much better than the up & down cycle of liquid morphine & she is much happier about it. Other than that , life goes on. And on, and on, but it sure as hell beats the alternatives.

I see a little silhouetto of a man

But its not Scaramouche. My little heart leapt when someone by the name of Brian May added himself to my facebook list. But sadly its not him. Well not unless he has put on 20 or so kilo's & discovered a rejuvenation process & taken to cuddling rabbits... Sighhhhhh..

It's 7.30 AM on a wet Saturday

I did sort of have it in mind to go for a drive up the peninsula so that we can both see the last bit of it that neither of us have seen. I would sort of like to do this before we venture further afield. The only problem is that we haven't got Sherman back yet. He has moved from the service shop to the panel shop. Aside from a slight oil leak, which I would assume is from the new filter, he is AOK mechanically now. My pet mechanic will have been round & rectified that by now as he is a very conscientious young man who has been looking after our vehicles for a number of years now. I stopped in there the other day & the boys had already given Sherm's paintwork a going over with cutting compound & cut all the old faded & worn decals back. I am that impressed with the look I am going to leave it like that when they have finished. Hopefully, we will get him back Wednesday, as they still need a couple of days to do the neccessary paintwork & one or two other little jobs. All that will be left for me to do then is straighten one of the little half bumpers at the back & find a way to buff up the alloy rims.

Soon after we bought it, I had a full set of Dunlop Desert Dueler tyres fitted. They have really impressed me. They give a good ride with very little road noise & are still less than half worn, & they have covered some really hard k's. A good cleanout & cleanup of the interior will finish it off & give us a really nice vehicle for once.

They say that there are none so blind as those that cannot see & I think that applies to me. I have had a lot of people telling me that I look so much better now, that all the stress has gone out of my face & I guess thats so. It must be if they are all saying so. I thought I was doing OK. Working anywhere from 10 to 14 hours a day, the trying to care for my dearly beloved as well. Trouble is , I wasn't doing justice to either it would seem. Now that I can concentrate on doing the one thing that is the most important, I can see things a little different. My two days off were mainly spent resting, or feeling bad because I didn't have the energy to get things done that needed it. Work was spent getting angry & resentful every time they asked me to work late or do something different that took me away from Herself for an evening.

So I'm slowly getting things done. The office is nearly tidy & in the process I have found stuff that I haven't been able to find for months. The laundry actually looks like somebody loves it again & there is yet another trailor load of rubbish ready for the dump. Herself hasn't been idle either. At my encouragement, she has finally sorted her patchwork stuff into some semblance of order. She has also finished a duvet cover for our grandson. Yes you will get a pic of it on here at some stage. Its fantastic.

She is on some fairly heavy medication for her gallstones which makes her very tired & a little demanding. I am, I hope , coping relatively well with it, but do hope for both our sakes that something is done fairly soon as the extra pain is having a really bad effect on her morale. I think the biggest worry is that when they do keyhole surgery to remove the bladder, they have to inflate the stomach cavity with CO2, which pushes on the diaphragm & inhibits breathing. The one good thing is that they do the surgery at Thames Hospital now& it's only an overnight stay at worst, so hopefully it will be soon.

Meanwhile, today I think I might finish off the office & start rebluing the barrel of my trusty old .22 rifle that has been languishing for too long with rust on it. Watching the All Blacks play France tonight will be a must view. I hope they do better than last time they played them.

Nnnnyeahhhhh.......... Whats up Doc ?

Herself had another visit to the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole today. (Read doctor at the Hospital) You know the one I mean, the one that is short & tubby, wears oversize glasses & twitches his nose like a rabbit all the time.

As usual we had to update him on Herselfs condition. He didn't even know about Herselfs gall stones. To be fair, he did come up with some very constructive info with regards to gallstones & treatment of same & all in all it was a good visit. So why can I still hear the seductive sound of Jefferson Airplane with Grace Slick up front ?

!!!!!!!! WOW !!!!!!!!

This is a picture of Herself with Milton. He is young, moderately good looking & can see his feet without having to lean forward at all. You will notice that he is being moderately familiar with Herself.. But I don't mind..

You see, Milton flies the big yellow Harvard in the background. This is Herself in the back seat of said yellow Harvard, with Milton sorting out all that stuff that pilots sort out before they go flying..

Milton then proceeded to take Herself out over the sea & really put the Harvard through its pace with a full display of aerobaticsShe had a blast.


Pretty cool huh ? Thanks to Morty's son Adam, Herself got round 20 minutes of absolute joy & bliss in the air. Young Adz arranged all this on his own initiative & then came home & worried that he might have done the wrong thing. Not much chance of that my friend. You did a really great thing there. We are home now, but I don't think Herself's undercarriage has touched the ground yet.



This is what happens when you try & land a Yak in a sand trap at the municipal golf course. It doesn't work & the green fees are a bastard This all happened when Milton & Herself were on final approach. The engine stopped in the Yak & he had to set it down fairly hard. From the look of it, some very serious damage has been done, which is very sad. It occasioned a minute or two of worry, as the siren went & the crash tender went racing off down the field as Milton & Jude were landing.

All in all, we had a wonderful weekend. Thank you Adam, Thank you Morty for your hospitality & especially thank you to Milton, who gave a lovely lady the experience of a life time, but I'm not jealous... Well, maybe just a little but... OK,, lots...........

There's gonna be a resolution...

Well, I did make one when I finished work. I decided that I was going to set myself tasks to do every day, to give me an incentive to get out of bed & get going every day. This I have consistently done. there is only one problem with this. More times than not, what i set myself, & what I actually DO very seldom seem to correspond. Today was a good case in point. I decided that today was a good day to finally strip the vege garden out, do a bit of weeding & a load or two of compost from the tip & maybe a few winter vege's in, then if there was time, a tidy up of the garden around the Beech tree & finally Herself's new roses planted as a border.

Instead, I cranked up the leaf blower & had a real groovy time chasing all the Autumn leaves out of the courtyard. it looks a lot better now. In the process, I checked one of my compost bins & found that it has rotted down nicely & as it's only a shovel swing away from the garden round the Beech tree, I have mentally earmarked it as a nice bonus for the roses, when i finally plant them. i also spoke to my mechanic. We decided between us that it would be as well to strip Sherman's injectors out to be tested as they have probably been there without any attention since Shermy left the factory. Just as well we did as they are a bit sad, so they are away being reconditioned. So thats about another week with no Sherman.

Then I tried to wash Jude's car. I say tried, because with all this cold weather, the hose finally called it quits. There was that much water leaking from it that all there was coming out the nozzle was a pathetic dribble. meantime, herself decided that she needed a shampoo & blow wave, so we organised that & went down town. While she was having that done, I went & had some old lotto tickets checked. Sorry, no winning ones. Then I went & swapped a casto that was wrong when we bought a new office chair & had a gossip with one of the girls there that I know. Then I went to the Red Shed, bought a new garden hose & had another gossip with another girl I know. Then I went to the florist, bought a nice little posy of flowers for Herself & had another little gossip. By that time herself was ready, so I collected her & we came home.

After I swapped all the fittings over to the new hose, swore at the bits that broke because I tightened them too much & hunted down replacements, I washed Herself's car. By that time, I had to fill the wood basket then come inside & start getting dinner ready. (Pork fried rice if you really must know) & that was my day.

Tomorrow, we are going on a shopping foray to Auckland. You see, we are going down to Tauranga on Saturday, so we need to stock up on some delly goodies & raid our favourite shop for chicken carcasses. We can get them cheaper there than Morty can in Tauranga, & Nushie just LOVES chicken carcasses. We getting all excited about our trip to Tauranga & Herself's treat has been expanded to the point where it is close to being one of those impossible dreams that we all have on our bucket list, but I'm not telling you anything until after the event. Spoilsport aren't I ?

Well, thats about it. The roses still arent planted, the compost isn't moved, the vege garden still isn't done, but damn I've been busy. I'm starting to get back some of the energy that i have lost over the years of working such long hours & now instead of crashing for the day, am looking about for stuff to do. Herself is still suffering the effects of the gallstones & being who she is keeps saying she is OK, but the lines on her face & the little whimpering noises she makes when she is asleep say different. Between that & my snoring, its no wonder the Ginger Ninja's have taken to sleeping in the lounge.

And the lion shall lay down with the lamb

We've had a few cold nights recently. In fact, we actually had quite a respectable frost this morning. It was a beautiful morning, crystal clear & crisp & clean. We've had a productive day in a lot of respects. Herself stayed home & puddled about in the end bedroom, sorting out all her patchwork bits & pieces, having been given a couple of bookshelves to stack them on.

I went out & had a chat with our mechanic who is doing a heap of long overdue preventative maintenance. I really went down there to give him a clandestine cuddle in case he is missing us. He gets nervous if he's out of our sight too long you know. Not that i was feeling guilty about Herself sorting stuff out, but I actually got my workbench looking as though somebody loves it. That among a few other things.

Herself is feeling the cold quite badly this winter & her gallstones are giving her hell at the moment. The fire hasn't gone out for over a week now. As you might guess, competition for pole position in front of the fire is pretty fierce, with me having to rescue one cat because the other one was lying on top of it. We finally conceded defeat & paid good money for another basket, but neither of them condescended to actually use it until tonight. Herself had brought the old Noodle Pooch's bedroom mattress out in front of the fire to air. This is a pic of the three of them in their respective beds.

I think you can figure out who the lions are in this picture for yourself, can't you ?

Well, its official

Following a phone call yesterday, Herself had to present herself for a scan at the hospital, midday. I guess its a measure of the urgency that they regard her treatment with that they have done that. We also received in the mail today an appointment for Wednesday, which we were told to ignore, so we have. I went in with her, & the lovely young lass that was doing the scan was kind enough to give us a running commentary that included showing us the half dozen or so tiny wee bright sparks on the screen that represented gallstones. She also pointed out that the wall of the gallbladder & one duct were quite badly inflamed. The duct might mean the passing of one of these stones which would explain the pain Wednesday.

Like me, I bet you thought that gallstones could be nuked with ultra sound to dissolve them. Not so. Apparently, this only applies to kidney stones, so its keyhole surgery & out with the old gall bladder for her. I guess it also means that her already restricted diet is about to be restricted even further. The only consolation with this whole sorry mess is that at least this problem is treatable.

On the happy side, a young friend of ours has arranged a lovely treat for Herself next weekend. I shall leave it as a surprise for you, but suffice it to say, Herself is agog with anticipation, as I guess you are now as well, but you will just have to wait as she has to. The weather here has turned decidedly pear shaped & custard flavoured, but at least its good for the ski field. An inside weekend with forays to my Viking game on Facebook is predicted. Have fun....

Go ahead, you may as well, everyone else has...

We started out having a really good day. Our local Bendon Factory Shop is having a big sale at the moment, so I took Herself out.You see, she needed a wee boost to her feminity, so some new bra's & knickers fit the bill nicely. From there we came into town, cruised a few more shops met a few more people & generally had a nice time. We had to be home by about 11.30 though, as the nice lady from Talk Link was coming to see us. Herself & I decided to give her back the loan talk link machine so that someone else could get the benefit from it. She feels more at home at the moment using her magna doodle. What makes it even easier still is that her brother brought back from the States a handbag sized version. Much better for taking into shops etc. I actually managed to get the lawns mown in the meantime.

We had a nice lunch & snuggled up for a nap. I snoozed my usual 30 minutes or so & was online when a friend came round. The Noodle Poodle barking woke Herself up, so we sat & had a coffee & a chat together. Then things turned pear shaped & custard flavoured. Hersel asked our friend if she would check her new bra for her, as she had a sore stomach. We both pricked our ears up at this;the bra fitted fine. It turned out that herself was suffering from a sore stomach & biliousness since lunch time, but didn't see fit to tell anybody, ie, me. As it was getting progressively worse I managed to get an appointment at the Doctors. They are very good. They know we don't go to see them for frivolous reasons. From there it was to the Emergency Department at the Hospital. Many tests & much pain relief later, the general consensus was reached that she probably has a gallstone now to add to her ailments. They couldn't find it though, so she has to go for a scan now.

You have to sometimes wonder at the fairness of fate. How much more is she supposed to put up with in this life. I don't consider it to be particularly fair, but then again I'm biased. I love her.

Its all my fault

This early unseasonable cold weather i mean. All I want to do is mow the lawns. And its not like there's acres of them or any thing.It's just that I'm not all that fussed about using an electric mower in the rain. Even with an isolating transformer. Every time I even think about dragging the damn thing out, down it comes. Doesn't matter. I have plenty of time now. Its just that Herself likes the lawns neat & tidy & she wants them neat & tidy NOW.

Today is a redletter day for us. We sign the last bits of paper that guarantee our lifestyle. Then, I think, this whole thing of me not working & Herself's mortality will actually sink in. I would like to say that I am getting used to a relaxed life style, but so far it hasn't happened. As you know, I have been helping a friend shift house last week & , God help me, another of Herself's friends is shifting Wednesday, fortunately this time with a professional shifter. In spite of that, I have offered help with trailor loads of pot plants etc. Yeah, I know, a sucker for punishment.

We are heading for Herself's third acupuncture treatment on Tuesday. I am hoping that this one will bring a measure of relief from the arthritis that plagues her so. It has already slowed down the incidence of cramp in her neck, which is good. Other than that, we need to go to the library & sort out getting some work done on Sherman to get him absolutely tip top to come & see all you good people. I'm not even going to mention that he needs a bath......

Brass monkey time again.

There is a certain satisfaction gained from sitting out in the spa pool at this time of year. We just mostly sit in companionable silence, watching the steam coil & twist as it rises & admiring the crystal clear sky that shows the stars up with amazing clarity. The only sounds that disturb the tranquillity is the neighbor calling his dog in & the crunch of teeth on bone as our silly old pooch contentedly gnaws his bone at our side. He loves to save his bone till we are in the spa before he settles for a good old gnaw. Possibly it has a lot to do with the fact that he knows that bones are forbidden beyond the back porch. He is fairly protective & I suppose thats his idea of a compromise between his self imposed guard duties & enjoying being a dog. It could all hinge on the fact that Mum used to get quite agitated if he was more than 6 feet away from her. Anyway, we finished our spa & came inside to sit in front of the fire & he , as usual, stayed out to finish his gnaw. It must have been a touch too cold for him out there though, because after about 5 minutes, he came marching in carrying his bone rather like one of those old Meerschaum pipes that you see in Victorian photos.

I watched him in disbelief. He's never done anything like that before so I watched him to see what he would do. He marched on over to his basket, curled up in it & carried on gnawing. "Fair enough," I thought & left him to it. All was fine till he climbed out & headed to his favourite corner on the carpet. "Oi!" says I. "basket or outside." He shot me a very reproachful look & carefully marched off out. I have no doubt that I will find the bone on the hall mat later. Thats his canine concept of a compromise I think.

Its been quite a long week. A dear friend is shifting house & her kids show a marked reluctance to help her. Now that we have finished, I think I understand why. Damn, she has a lot of stuff & most of it is her kids. But we have finished now, so its time for us to sit & take stock of our new lifestyle.

I took Herself to an acupuncturist on Monday. I'm taking her again tomorrow for her arthritis. I must be honest & say that it doesn't appear to have given her the relief that I hoped it would, but we will wait & see tomorrow I think. Meanwhile , I have been trying to take some of the load. Our home help has been a spectacular failure, with the girl concerned only giving us half the time that she was supposed to. We have changed agencies & now have someone coming in that we know. We also know she is a bloody hard worker, who will give us & the agency bloody good value for money.

Meanwhile, during the time that Herself was out walking I raced round, made the bed, did the dishes & put the washing on. Shame I didnt see the washcloth in the tub though. Herself came home just in time to be greeted by water flowing through to the garage. We have a very clean laundry floor now. Such, I guess, are the vicissitudes of being a House Husband. I'm learning though....

And here she is....

Our lovely grand daughter with her equally lovely Mum. Aint they both gorgeous ?

Welcome to our world

Connaire Amara Fitzgerald-Leslie at 2.45 pm today weighing in at a healthy 6lb 4 oz. At home in Dunedin New Zealand to two of the most loving parents & two of the proudest & most loving grand parents that God could give you. A bonny bouncing healthy baby girl. raise a glass with me & drink her health . Welcome to the world little one. May you make a better job of caring for it than our generation has.... YAAAAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Another grandchild to spoil rotten

The needle & the Damage done

Herself didn't walk this morning. Her back was too sore. The colder damper weather seems to be knocking her round badly this year. Worse than it ever has been in fact. There isn't much can be done for her MND, but we are doing something about the arthritis. I took her to an acupuncturist this morning. So far, there isn't a lot of change, but she needs to go again on Friday, so we will see how it goes.

My youngest son rang me at 6.30 or so this morning to tell me that his wife has finally had her waters break. By 10ish, she was 1 cm dilated. I think its going to be a long day for them both. Will keep you posted on that score. Meanwhile, we are still helping our friend shift. God, she's got a lot of stuff.

At this point , I'm wondering where I actually found time to work. God I'm tired.

Monday Monday

Monday is a very significant day for herself & I. For one thing, its our 18th wedding anniversary. According to the modern list, that's supposed to entitle us to all sorts of groovy presents made of porcelain, but I'm not holding my breath. Our relationship certainly hasn't been dull. Right from the day that she invited me home for tea, & I never left. We have actually been together for over 20 years now. It just took me a little while to amass the spare cash to get a divorce done. When the judge announced a decree absolute, I went straight down to the shop where she was working & got down on one knee & proposed. Right in front of a customer. She said 'Yes" of course & the rest is history. Very interesting history it is too. I may tell you about it one day.

The next significant thing about Monday is that my youngest son's wife is due to give birth to our 4th grand child. He is hoping she will hold on till the 21st of May, which is my Dad's birthday. Both my boys loved their "Poppy." One of my most fervent wishes is that I can fill his rather large boots for my grandchildren. We don't know yet what is on the way, & really I don't suppose it matters, so long as its fit & healthy. I know it will be happy, because its going to have the most loving parents imaginable. We intend to get down there sometime later in the year to see them all.

Monday is, I guess, really the start of my new life as a ,"Gentleman of H'independent means." For the first time in my adult life, I will not be gainfully employed, nor will i be seeking gainful employment. You all know why. I may tell you as well, that its not without a certain measure of trepidation that I approach the coming years. Although Herself's symptoms have been gradual in their onset, they are, unfortunately, inevitable & one of the hardest things that I find myself doing is continually telling people,"No, there is no treatment, no, there is no cure & no there is no remission."

The last thing is that Herself's brother & his Lady are coming down to visit on Monday. Visits from the two of them are always nice. They have both really come to the fore since Herself has been ill, showing all the compassion & support that it's possible to show.

So hopefully, the day will produce some great memories for us both. meanwhile, I look around & see so much to do. If the weather holds I may get out tomorrow & mow some grass. I spent today helping a friend to shift house. Damn, but that girls got a lot of stuff.

The Last Waltz

Well, its all over or it's just starting, depends on your outlook I guess. To quote the venerable Arkwright, it was a ,"fu fu fu fu funny old day." Bitter sweet I guess is a good description. The last two weeks have been good in the respect that I have been able to catch up with all the people that matter. has been the odd tear or two today. Also, a lot of very nice things said, promises to keep in touch etc.,

This has been the finale in my second major vocation in life, the first being the Fire Service. The third & most important phase of my life has aready started. That of caring for Herself. I think its going to be the most important thing that I will ever do with myself. I'm under no illusions that its going to be an easy call, but thats Ok, I have a great support system & I am confident that together we will see it through.

So anyway, after a few beers with the boys at work, Herself & I went out for tea. was a nice end to the day....

Speechless in Seattle. (Well, Thames anyway)

We are currently helping a dear friend to shift house. Quite aside from anything else, the analogy of a booze up in the brewery springs to mind, but thats not what I want to tell you about. While we were loading out interminable boxes of junk from her garage, she says,"Hey, look at this," & opens a grotty old suitcase. She started hauling some incredibly tatty & badly scratched old Elvis LP's. Thats cool, that didn't bother me. What rendered me speechless was at the bottom of the box. Would you believe one of the original Beatles White albums. The one with the embossed title & the serial number on the jacket. With trembling paw I drew forth the vinyl. They were in pristine condition apart from looking like it had been cleaned with 80 grit sandpaper. Well, it was a nice dream while it lasted I suppose. She couldnt understand why I swore profusely at her.......

On Mothers Day.

Firstly, I'd like to extend a warm welcome to anyone who has found their way here via the MND Newsletter & thank you Heather for listing it. Please come in , sit down , take the weight off, pour yourself a hot or a cold one & make yourself at home. Feel free to make your self known via the comments option.

I had planned to take herself to Albany today on a day trip so that she could celebrate Mothers Day & her eldest son's birthday all in one. Sadly, I had a recurrence of a rather nasty stress symptom that i thought I had seen the last of. It really left me with no option but to cancel out, because God I'm tired. Fortunately, Herself's daughter stepped up to the plate & offered to come down collect her & take her up for an overnighter. In retrospect, that was a very good idea.

I have had a totally selfish day. I curled up & had a snooze for an hour or two after they left. Then I watched the 1st DVD of 3 in The Ice Road Truckers set. Then I had a nap just for a change. There's nothing on TV till 7.00, so here I am on here & listening to the first of 3 discs in the Dylan Bootleg series. Good classic vintage stuff from his early years.

When I was granted 12 respite days a year, I didn't think for one minute that I would need them, but I must admit that a little time out where I'm not straining to understand what Herself is saying, or worrying about her choking is an absolute blessing. I will be very glad when the coming week is over & done with & I can concentrate on caring for her full time. I love her dearly & its very difficult to walk out the door every morning to go to work. She really is finding winter hard, more because of the arthritis than her MND. I have located an acupuncturist in Thames that has been trained in Beijing, so I am hoping that he can offer her some pain relief. Until then, its warm open fires, hot spas with plenty of epsom salts in & an excellent liniment that I found for her at our local health shop. Its that good that poor old Tiggerpuss can't tolerate being under the blankets after I have used it on Herself's back.

Well, thats about it. I will leave you with the lyrics to a Dylan song that I find especially meaningful at the moment. It's called, "Let Me Die in my Footsteps."



I will not go down under the ground
"Cause somebody tells me that death's comin' 'round
An' I will not carry myself down to die
When I go to my grave my head will be high,
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

There's been rumors of war and wars that have been
The meaning of the life has been lost in the wind
And some people thinkin' that the end is close by
"Stead of learnin' to live they are learning to die.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

I don't know if I'm smart but I think I can see
When someone is pullin' the wool over me
And if this war comes and death's all around
Let me die on this land 'fore I die underground.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

There's always been people that have to cause fear
They've been talking of the war now for many long years
I have read all their statements and I've not said a word
But now Lawd God, let my poor voice be heard.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

If I had rubies and riches and crowns
I'd buy the whole world and change things around
I'd throw all the guns and the tanks in the sea
For they are mistakes of a past history.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

Let me drink from the waters where the mountain streams flood
Let me smell of wildflowers flow free through my blood
Let me sleep in your meadows with the green grassy leaves
Let me walk down the highway with my brother in peace.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

Go out in your country where the land meets the sun
See the craters and the canyons where the waterfalls run
Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Idaho
Let every state in this union seep in your souls.
And you'll die in your footsteps
Before you go down under the ground.